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Hey Bobo. I live in California, and I can relate, but I'm not sure many people will. Writing is good, it gives you some ideas. This is some fine writing, but the comedy is mostly physical. Comedy about body types and so forth, you know? I would try to write stuff that appeals to the widest possible audience, preferably not geographical locations. Keep on writing, I likes what you got so far! • <4:39, 11 Jul 2008>
The spirit is willing but the concept is weak.