From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is hilarious, but I miss the Oscar Wilde quote someone put up sometime ago, which went something like this "If I wanted to listen to bastardized Bill Hicks quotes to awkward time signatures I would have thrown Dennis Leary down the stairs". Maybe it should be added?
- It's nice, but doesn't really fit. -- 12:55, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
Somebody really needs to help me out. Badly. Really, Really badly. We're talking badlyness here people!
- Ok -- 01:29, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
the guy that wrote this is a fucking tool
There should be something about Justin Chancellor playing bass a hell of a lot better than Paul D'Amour.
Actually I quite like this article, at least it doesn't walk headlong into the pitfall that so many Uncyclopedia articles suffer of being hate, hate, and more hate. I particularly like "I think for myself because that's what Tool told me to do" and the way it pops up repeatedly throughout the article. When I first read it I thought it was going to be a fanboy article - but then I realised that's what was intended, to be written from the perspective of an over-zealous Tool fan. Now consider this article's been featured. Believe me, I've seen far worse articles. Mental 08:20, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
Sory man but u sound like sheep... telling meeee but doing muuuuu.... They say think with your own head not with dickhead... And Die Eir Von Satan is made out of hashish not marihuana... Fibonacci sequence was made by an Italian mathematician Fibonacci not Dan Brown... lol U must have been high... I can see u listen well but understand nothing :) I see u with foot in mouth and head up ass :))
- There's this thing called humour, you may have heard of it. It's interesting because you are exactly the type of person the article is supposed to parody. Congrats. -- 13:24, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
Don't judge all Tool fans based on this fool. Most Tool fans should have a sense of humour about it. It's not like Tool don't play jokes on their fans, so why shouldn't anyone else? This year's April Fools was pretty good, they've sent the fans on a wild goose chase looking for another hidden track, heh heh. That's funny. You've gotta admire that. Sure, some fans cross the lines of obsessiveness (that's why Maynard keeps a paintball gun handy) and unbelievable stupidity (I guess that's what the proper guns are for, as well as shooting pianos and such), but no worse than Radiohead fans or Pink Floyd fans, and most are just normal people. Check out the Marilyn Manson forums if you want to read some scary conversations.
I can digg that.... if this si humour :)) its like reading jokes on obituary page.... :) bring some intelligence...
haha, this article is awesome. theres a ew o the fans at my school. its true what you say on here "I think for myself because that's what Tool told me to do" haha, pfft they ust sound like every other bloody metal band.
edit Mainstream popularity?
The article that Tool has avoided mainstream popularity but their last two albums debuted at number 1 at the top of the Billboards. The funny thing about that is how much most douchebag Tool-fans will hate to hear it. --184.108.40.206 21:39, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
Tool fans are glad when Tool sell records. I don't understand why anyone would think they wouldn't be glad, it doesn't make sense. Tool have songs about how they sold out years ago anyway, so the point is moot.
edit Tool fan right here
Hey, I like Tool. I'm crazy about them but I do I admit some fans over-exaggerate their talents. I still thought this article was funny. Good job bro.
Yeah, I'm a Tool fan. I think this article could have been a lot funnier if some research had been put into it. It's basically a one-joke article.
Agreed. "Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid". I would say this was more stupid than funny, and really just a lazy and spiteful article. It's funny how fans of other music say things like "Dave Grohl is a god" or "Jimmy Page is the greatest guitarist of all time" or "Lady Gaga is a genius" but only fans of certain bands get called out on it. It's fitting that the anti-Tool movement was started by the ultimate in sheepdom: fundimentalist Christians (the Scientologists got on it a bit later, but it was the fundies who started it). That they seem to be winning many people over is not exactly comforting, but it's good to be on the side that advocates free thinking. Think for yourselves. Don't say Tool is crazy or an evil cult just because that's what you've been told. Prison Sex isn't just about child abuse either, it's a metaphor for religious indoctrination. What he is saying is that religious indoctrination is child abuse. It's a very basic metaphor, it's really not that hard to figure out, nor is there any indication that this was an attempt to blow your mind. Maynard himself even says it's not that hard to write lyrics ("it's just putting words together") and the music is the important thing. The way you have written "oh, it's a metaphor for thinking for yourself or something" just makes you seem like a jealous bitch.