Talk:This page does not exist

This talk page does not exist

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This page can not be found.

The page you are looking for may have been removed, deleted, hacked, joined the witness protection program, suffered an injury, is away on vacation, was molested by David Blane, won the lottery and went to a better server, saw Napoleon Dynamite and wanted to kill itself, discovered oil, had an airplane fall on it, was adopted my Martians, is playing hide and seek, protesting, was a member of AOL, is trying to out-do Waldo or simply just decided to fuck off forever.

---

Please try the following;

Go fuck yourself & slash your wrists

while you attempt to eat shit and die.

Click on a dead link like this one here

Cum on Betty Whites back or maybe Estel Getty's.

Click this thing and realize the page just hates you.

Press the refresh button, dickhead.

http 404 - this page found you to be an asshole

Internet Explorer thinks you are an asshole as well

and we think you're an asshole, too!

DANGER Creating this page can be dangerous. 42 users are currently banned for daring to create this page. If you just got here and are mortally offended by the absence of any blatant lies, please read About Uncyclopedia, the Beginner's Guide, and How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid

This article appears to contradict itself. Please see the discussion on the talk page.

“I think This page does not exist, Therefore it exists”

~ Descartes on This page does not exist

“This page is dead”

~ Nietzsche on This page does not exist

“This page does not exist.”

~ Captain Obvious on This page does not exist

The page This page does not exist does exist. Otherwise how could we be featuring it? or even referring to it? It even has its own talk page, then it must exist!

If it hadn't existed we would have created it.

Maybe if it only exists in my mind? Oh no, am I going crazy?? Where am I writing at all?? Oh God, oh God help me. Wait, no, God doesn't exist either! Oh he must exist, He was featured! I've just referred to him! But does he have a talk page?

• I know it's possible to lock a page against editing. Is that not possible if the page doesn't exist? Or would the act of locking it against editing create the page which doesn't exist? My head hurts. Ekashp 02:43, 2 April 2007 (UTC)

Holy shit, I've seen the light!! This page does exist!!!--Rataube 17:43, 1 February 2006 (UTC)

Is this a Zen thing? Or something to do with with Edwin Schrödinger? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

• When I nominated this page, it was the self-reference of that page's nonexistence that made it funny, and having a talk-page renders the page semi-existent, but then, of course, an anonymous will go ahead and create the actual page, writing something outward stupid, so the page will exist, but it won't be funny, what I'm trying to say is, it's better as nonexistent.... Uhm? Anyone here? - Sir Sikon [formerly known as Guest] 17:28, 1 February 2006 (UTC)
• It's more probable that I don't exist than that this page doesn't. - Steve Ballmer 18:30, 1 February 2006 (UTC)
  • Uhm... Doesn't quite make sense. I'm a sockpuppet, so I don't exist. Wait, sockpuppets do exist. In a sense. Or maybe not. I'm going to fucking kill the Uncertainty Principle. - Steve Ballmer 18:30, 1 February 2006 (UTC)

All hail Splarka, who has just reverted vandalism on this page! - Sir Sikon [formerly known as Guest] 05:53, 14 February 2006 (UTC)

(Deletion log); 05:16 . . Splaka (Talk) (deleted "This page does not exist": content before blanking was: 'Aaaaaaa')

• Hail.

• http://uncyclopedia.org/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=&user=&page=This+page+does+not+exist --User:Nintendorulez 21:44, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

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http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/This_page_some_times_exists --Warioman 15:40, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

This redlink makes all of the jesii cry. --47Monkey MUN HMRFRA s7fc | Talk 05:25, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

I'm confused. WTF? Feature? AAAAA! --Poofers 06:43, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

Check the original version to get the idea. Its non-existence shouldn't be fixed! --Ruubio 07:05, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

The sheer audacity of having this nonexistent piece-of-crap as a nominated article makes it worthy of being a featured article. Bravo!--Putz 07:18, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

This crap ain't the top quality crap I'm used to see in the front page. I quote: "WFT?". --212.147.119.42 13:12, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

Can I vote here for creation? Can I? Huh? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Tag it if you dare mate, but you're on your own with this one. :) -- T. (talk) 19:00, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

I have a feeling this is really a complicated joke involving featuring complete crap that isn't even written... --Chronarion 18:57, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

WTF; this is awful. I mean, I've resisted urge to create articles with nonsensical titles, but I don't try to get non-articles on the front page. Mindspillage 20:16, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

I get the joke but it's very, very Lame... I mean like "Why wouldn't they let the stinkbug into the movie? HE HAD ONLY ONE SCENT AND IT WASN'T ENOUGH!" more lame than that lame. Bleek II 20:23, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

There was no joke int he article. It's pure, unadulterated genius as it originally was, and not the crappy hack that someone made it into--Sir Flammable KUN 21:38, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

If I understood you correctly you are saying that the articles is geniality, but the nomination or the talkpage made it crappy. That's a lovely paradox, couse without the nomination or the Talkpage it doesn't exist at all, or does it?--Rataube 19:27, 1 February 2006 (UTC)

Too stupid to be featured. --Clorox MUN ONS (diskussion) ☃ 21:41, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

Maybe YOU'RE too stupid to be featured. Ever think about that? Huh? Huh? Yeah punk! Yeah, this is getting old. I waiting for RC to put a new one up.--Sir Flammable KUN 21:44, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

...Okay... you mean my user page? --Bleachie talc 21:49, 2 February 2006 (UTC)

SOME ANONYMOUS I.P HAS VANDALIZED IT!!!--Rataube 19:42, 1 February 2006 (UTC)

Oh my god I love this article!!! -Weyoun 47 04:16, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

What article? There is no cabal article! ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:42, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

I have just not encountered this article, and I love it. --User:Nintendorulez 15:55, 15 May 2006 (UTC)

VOTE FOR CREATION THIS PAGE DOES NOT FIT IN UNCYCLOPEDIA, OR IS NOT FUNNY WITH LITTLE CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION. SOMEONE HAS REQUESTED A CREATION. THAT SOMEONE WILL BE IGNORED UNTIL HE CAN ACHIEVE NOTHINGNESS. ALSO CHECK OUT ITS ENTRY AT UNCYCLOPEDIA:PAGES FOR CREATION.

• Hey, why not feature This page does not exist? I like it. :) --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 12:25, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

WIP spoof.

User:Nintendorulez/This page does exist

Thoughts? Pee review? Also, I'm thinking that just as we use this for generic, purposeless redlink, this article could be for purposeless bluelinks. --User:Nintendorulez 00:17, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

The messages in that page would be good for the contradiction article. --Sbluen 04:22, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

Problems with creation

We seem to be having a few problems around the creation of this page. How about we link to this page? --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 10:31, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

But that's a blue link. And nobody will see this, the real page. I say we just have a permanent link here on QVFD. If anyone tries to make it, it'll be shown as a blue link to be huffed ASAP. --User:Nintendorulez 18:55, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Good idea. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 19:01, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

"This, the real page". I thought this page didn´t even exist.--Rataube 00:32, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Sorry about the Redirect

Sorry, I didn't check the discussion page first. I see the redirect has already been taken off. GravityIsForSuckers 12:13, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Maybe it'd be better for this page not to show up on the Most Wanted List? GravityIsForSuckers 12:15, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

That's OK, you didn't know. We'll let you off. But, remember, people, create the page and you risk the consequences. -- Hindleyite 12:17, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

At the moment, this article appears to have lots of redeeming value and so is not a candidate for deletion. If this article isn't worsened in 7 days, it may not be deleted. However, this article may not have potential, but without condensation, it could become unfit to go. Please keep this notice unless the article has been significantly worsened. If you don't want to agree with the placement of this tag, please don't stray from these instructions. Following them may give kind promises. This Template placed on 05:31, 9 October 2006 (UTC) (Admins: Check time stamp)

OMFG!

It got created again! --Micoolio101 ^{(whine • vandalism)} 05:50, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

OMFG! Bears crap in the woods! oTHErONE _(Contribs) 05:24, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

OMFG! Nobody cares. --AAA! (AAAA) 23:55, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

I created it anonymously while logged out and it lasted for almost 20 seconds MWAHAHA Happysmileman 19:54, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

• Goes off to dob on Happysmileman* -Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) 20:38, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

A statistic you probably don't care about

This article has been created 67 times and counting. Sigh. Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 12:13, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

Protection

Why don't the admins protect it? It would be so much earlier... Or they not doing it to keep themselves busy. Like this for example. Except not a vanity protection. -Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) 14:34, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

Pages that don't exist can't be protected. If we put a template on it saying it has been deleted, the page exists. —Braydie at 14:36, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

Uhh

Why does this page keep existing? I thought it was against the rules for existence.--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 02:49, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

You mean this page or this page? Not that either of them have ever existed. Nor will they ever. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:58, 13 Feb 2007

I just saw a created version today, and it looked like a real article, until I found out it was just a copy of this. Pretty neat, though... --AAA! (AAAA) 06:26, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Hey.

There's this new feature on Wikipedia. It allows protection of pages that do not exist. Try to create this page. oTHErONE _(Contribs) 05:57, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

We're not as advanced as wikipedia and can't protect uncreated articles. :( —Braydie 09:58, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

That's not mediawiki software. It was created by an admin, every single part of it. But if we can get the cascading protection feature on this site, then it will work. --AAA! (AAAA) 07:51, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

There was a change between MediaWiki 1.9 and 1.10 which moved the "protected" status out of the database page table and stored it independently. That way, the protection could still exist even if this page does not exist. They're using it to cover up heinous events, such as the genocide in Porchesia. Unfortunately, even though Wikipedia is MediaWiki 1.11alpha already, we tend to lag badly behind around here. --66.102.80.239 23:00, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

NO

Have you ever heard the old robot saying, "DOES NOT COMPUTE"? Well this is a perfect example of that. Sliferjam ~ This is my new signature. Cool huh? 06:54, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Heh...

Someone created the page with this:

This article appears to contradict itself. Please see the discussion on the talk page.

This is probably the best creation I've ever seen.--AAA! (AAAA) 00:51, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Rats.

I saw the page had been created, went to the QVFD, posted it, and by the time I had done so... it had ceased to exist! How did the admins reach it before I even finished posting the warning?

We are that fast. Plus, some of us patrol Newpages. —Major Sir Hinoa prepare for trouble • make it double? 02:29, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

Some of them have time travel. They traveled forward in time to see the QVFD, and then went back in time to delete it. --Emmzee 02:21, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

We have the newfies delete it. They're already half an hour ahead, so it's gone before it's created. --66.102.80.239 14:08, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

I love this page!

Can I nom it on VFH? --General Insineratehymn 16:38, 5 May 2007 (UTC)

We should have a reskin if it gets featured. The reskin should be called "unplug the Uncyclopdedia servers for a day". -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:07, 5 May 2007 (UTC)

"This website does not exist" --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 05:53, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

It was nommed before and it failed.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 14:32, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

404'D! ONX 17:41, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

Here's an idea.

Someone go make "This page does not exist" should exist, and then, make This page exists, and redirect This page does not exist to that article, and make all links to it appear in red. We can't get anything done with things not existing! Put an end to non-existence once and for all! --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 03:58, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

That is undoubtedly the worst conceivable idea anyone has ever thought, ever. -- Kip > Talk • Works • •

Once you redirect this page does not exist, it exists. This creates a contradiction so fundamental that the entire universe implodes. You wouldn't want that, would you? --14:44, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

Anyone Know?

Will I be banned for making "This page doesn't not not exist?" ? -Muzak 10:32, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

Depends who catches you. The official line is yes, you will be banned but I fear many admins are too lazy to keep clicking the 'block this user' tab every other hour. -- Hindleyite Converse 10:34, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

Sooo....

I thought that whole thing Olipro did prevented it from being made again, which is apparently not so. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:54, 26 May 2007 (UTC)

This page has a right to exist! --14:42, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

Wow, so many idiots like to edit this page

Like, how many people have edited this page? -- 16:26, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

From Pee Review

I will now attempt to review this non-existent page.

Humour:	0	Couldn't find any humor whatsoever. There is absolutely no funny aspect to this whole article.
Concept:	0	Not much effort went into this. I could have done it in my sleep.
Prose and formatting:	0	Terrible formating.
Images:	0	You forgot to put in images. They may add some humor to it.
Miscellaneous:	0	I cannot think of any way to redeem it. I guess you can't polish a turd.
Final Score:	0	I honestly don't know what to say.
Reviewer:	-- Kip > Talk • Works • •

Silly Kippy - you're meant to give things that don't apply top marks. Hence making this a perfect score. -- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 16:48, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

It needs images. Like this one.

Redirect to This page does NOT exist

Create this article, but all that you should put in is a fake deletion log.

69.47.186.179 22:13, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

This talk page...

Is hilarious! I'm using it as the base for the article! AlexJabei (talk) 03:03, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

French

The French version actually does exist. It's also got an interwiki to this nonexistent page. Llwy (scold|hover) 23:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)