Talk:The Hell Outta Here

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Having trouble finding a good image for the start of the article... other than that, writing and formatting is going great. --Andorin Kato 05:33, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

edit From Pee Review

I just created this article, after spending about an hour writing it. I've decided to submit it to Pee Review before I have what I consider to be the final version, so that people can kinda point me in the right direction.

While playing Zork I stumbled upon the weapon The Hell Outta Here, and was impressed. When I looked for the article, however, I noticed that there was none! So I made one myself. Let's hope that what I've got here is a decent foundation for a good article, not a bunch of n00by junky junk. I wouldn't know. You decide. --Andorin Kato 02:10, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 5 Could use some more of it. Spending more than an hour on it would help this a great deal.
Concept: 8 Love the idea of "the hell out of here" from "get the hell out of here" being an object.
Prose and formatting: 5 Meh. Unprofessional tone that detracts from the article.
Images: 6 Nothing great, nothing bad.
Miscellaneous: 5 Miscellanea seem to be what sustains uncyclopedia, but there are some things here that just beg to be mentioned. Great concept, though the execution kills it somewhat. I would say my biggest comment would be to explain what exactly "the hell out of here" is. Make stuff up. Don't just say that it's "a big fucking gun." First off, unnecessary swear words do not a good article make. Secondly, go into detail. Describe its innards. Draw a diagram (see here if you use Word) if you want. Most importantly, make it something that exists, if only in Uncyclopedia world. It's always funnier that way, and this way you can say things that have been affected by it without it seeming bizarre. Finally, just a suggestion, add padding around the Sept. 11 joke (even other tragedies would be sufficient), that way it doesn't seem so insensitive.
Final Score: 29 Nice use of less-overused uncyc in-joke with the Starbucks thing. You've got a good foundation, just need to build on it. Good by n00b137 standards.
Reviewer: Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 02:45, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Also from Pee Review

Back and (hopefully) better. I've expanded it a bit since the last Pee Review, added some better images, content, etc., so let me know what you think. Suggestions are very welcome. Thanks! --Andorin Kato 19:45, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 7 Better, but still somewhat lacking, but much more LOL.
Concept: 9 Expanded concept = muy bien
Prose and formatting: 6 I stand by my previous statement,
Images: 7 Better article makes the images seem better. True story.
Miscellaneous: 7 Still improvable. I would still suggest a diagram (go to RadicalX's corner and request one if you don't want to make one yourself). The padding was done well, and it's all around better, but I think that now you should expand the bottom half. It descends into lists toward the end, and that's not good. Expand on the ideas there whenever you can, make sub-bullets for every single one. Try to make it into prose.
Final Score: 36 Much better, still could use more.
Reviewer: Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:45, 28 May 2007 (UTC)
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