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edit From Pee Review
I think it should be a little bit longer, but what should i write? --Jyrgen 11:38, 26 December 2006 (UTC)
- I read it last night, and reread it today...and the humour escapes me. Is the Gurk based on something? My small brain is confused.-- 04:39, 27 December 2006 (UTC)
|Humour:||2||You end this up both not knowing what is a gurk in "real life" - if it exists - and what's the satire idea of a gurk|
|Concept:||1||Seems a collection of random jokes on existing obscure material or vanity (I hope it is not)|
|Prose and formatting:||1||Encyclopedic prose about a ???|
|Images:||3||Where did you get those spiders?|
|Miscellaneous:||1||Am I missing something?|
|Final Score:||8||You better provide a link to the subject or rewrite it in a way to have a coherent funny history with recognizable elements.|
|Reviewer:||herr doktor needsAscalpel [scream!] 12:31, 5 January 2007 (UTC)|
As noted, no one knows how "Gurk" connects to the real world. There's a town named Gurk in Austria, and the townspeople built a cathedral on Wikipedia, but that seems to have nothing to do with your article. The pictures look like ray-tracings or screen captures from a game. (If "Gurken 3d.png" is an original raytracing, my congratulations on your skill. If it is a screen capture from something then I withdraw my congratulations and advise you to use photoshopped or original images instead.)
It's hard to write satire about a purely imaginary subject. Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide series is funniest when it plays off familiar things -- the English fascination with tea, the status of lab mice -- by putting them in surprising contexts. That was Adams' genius. If he had written pure fantasy, without tea and lab mice and whatnot, then Hitchhiker's Guide would have been one more fantasy series like The Alien Dragons of Pissywhistle or whatever.
If you replaced every instance of the word "gurk" with the words "Tickle-Me Elmo" your article would be funnier. Because it would take something familiar and put it in a silly, surreal context.
The other thing is structure. Constructions like "prohpecies (sic) were foretold" are not helpful...prophecies can foretell events, but foretelling a prophecy is kind of like summarizing a summary. It is not done in polite society because it sounds silly. In other words, revise some more. Of course all this is merely some boogery advice from a boogerbrained man. ----OEJ 17:58, 5 January 2007 (UTC)