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I'm Robert Smith's bastard love child! An unfortunate result of one night of drunken abandonment between Robert Smith and Morrissey (former front man of The Smiths). As a result, my life has been a ball of miserable confusion! I can't decide rather to kill myself, or to just keep looking in a mirror all day long, it's never ending! Soon the world will know my pain, as I too plan to have a unholy lackluster musical career, just like my parents. I will do my daddies proud, or kill myself, all while looking fabulous! It's been a long journey, uncovering my birthright. I now understand why all of my life Goths, nutters, horny middle aged women, wannabe punks, and shallow nancey boys were drawn to me.