From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Didn't there used to be a really detailed Howto on this site about suicide? I wanted to use it to talk people into suicide pacts which I will ditch out on but the howto kill yourself talks about silly things like Piano Wire Hanging etc
- Slashing wrists (Remember kids: Go down the road, not across the tracks)
this is not funny --mc
- If it wasn't for a (wrongful!) QVFD, I would never have noticed that pearl of a line was removed... RE-ADDED!!! :D Oh, and one must NEVER blank. Especially not a talk page of an article... Helps us remember what was already discussed and such... --⇔ 17:20, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
Sorry, it will never happen again.--Jtaylor1 22:13, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
You people are sick why would you say that, [i would never call myself a bum] it is the worst thing ever when someone thinks that they need to end there life dumb ass's like you are the ones who makes them do it so next time you wanna make fun of someone. plz think about that !
- Suicidal people tend not to look up articles about suicide on fake encyclopedias, to the best of my knowledge. Rather, they have a tendency of using Wikipedia. --
07:01, 17 June 2007 (UTC)
- Hey, as liberal supporters of our great new president, we have a civic obligation to help look for ways by which somebody else can lower the unemployment rate for us.
i am a bum- see i just admitted it 2 myself :] heehhehhehe
- Besides, most suicidal fuckheads are thinking that they'll just write a little letter, off themselves, and the rest of us will set around crying, oh why oh why didn't we listen to poor Emo when we had the chance? Maybe if somebody breaks to them the cold, hard truth that we're not even going to bother laughing at them if they don't do something original enough to win a Darwin Award, they'll realize that their little suicide gesture is going unheard. Depressing? Fuck yeah. But hell, most of us are too depressed to commit suicide - the rest live some kind of perfect lives and then one day they do it and people can't figure out why. Wnt 05:35, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
Quote: "Glue your hand to your nuts [Boobs for girls] Ask a truck driver to tie a rope around your hand and have him drive off. You will die without your nuts from bleeding to death, but it'll provide a laugh. Extra points at your daughter's sweet 16."
Reaction: Holy shit this is stupid!
Score: 6/10 or 600/1000 It ani't all bullshit, some laughs in there.
Improvements/Advice: Go kill yourself using one of the methods stated in the article.
Thoughts To Self: Being black is hard work my friends.
Thoughts To Others: I LOATHE ZIGGY, EMO'S,AND THE TELETUBIES!!!
- lolz, "Nut Sacks" --Fudge Tunnel 00:59, 26 August 2007 (UTC)
Poll: is suicide painless?
Try it out and respond here.
A pikturefit it in there) -->
--I like pie mmm (Spam me/Spam doesn't taste as good as pie) X Block 04:42, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
- The idea is to refer would be article protesters who would otherwise insert their actual (nonhumorous) opinions on suicide into the article to the talk page instead, which is where such opinions belong. -- 06:54, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
Is the header really needed? --16:37, April 26, 2012 (UTC)
Hiarious article, guys!
I just wanted to take my time to say that i found this article very funny. Uncyclopedia just doesn't get much funnier than:
Suicide is illegal in most countries. People have recently been arguing for the death penalty as the punishment for commiting suicide. Other crimes, however, have less severe penalities. In Arkansas, Colorado, Northern Virginia, and East and West Dakota suicide is a felony punishable up to five years of prison and/or a fine of $4.50. It is a major industry in countries like Switzerland, Euthanasia and Lithuania. The Swedish have come up with the most severe punishment for attempted suicide: treatment for depression. Suicide is one of the most popular forms of recreation in many Middle Eastern countries and as such the public predominately views suicide as the act of exploding oneself into tiny pieces while in a crowded area. In Soviet Russia gun shoots you, making "accidental" suicide happen often, so no one is ever charged with it.
I have not even finished reading the article, in fact, I just finished "Legal status," but that's how funny it is. Great job, guys! --220.127.116.11 20:11, August 31, 2012 (UTC)