From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article may be nominated as a featured article is there any reason why it shouldn't been featured? Please confront me.--RLX 15:10, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
From Pee Review
This article is a what I believe to be the best State related article on the site, any way that it can be improved to the level of the featured articles "--23:33, 23 January 2007 (UTC).
|Humour:||2||The jokes were few and far apart, and in a lot of cases, it's actually true. When I did see one, it was usually some random comment on cocks or cocaine. While yes, truth is funnier than downright nonsense, we're asking for a parody of truth, not a recounting of it. South Carolina is one fucked-up state, trust me, why can't you comment on that?|
|Concept:||8||Like I said, South Carolina is one fucked-up state...|
|Prose and formatting:||6||The prose was decent, well-written, clear. But really, that doesn't make it any funnier.|
|Images:||2||An unfunny picture can usually be made-up for by a funny caption. This article had neither. Try adding some, even if you have to look to other states' articles for inspiration.|
|Miscellaneous:||3||Randomly-placed cock jokes are not funny. They're just not.|
|Final Score:||21||One good thing I'll say about this page: so many people think they can contribute to an article about the state they live in or some TV show they watch; a few people making truly witty comments are good, but sometimes the accumulated bad edits just end up ruining the article. This hasn't happened too much, I think. the problem with this article is, it's just not funny. Period.|
|Reviewer:||--Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:44, 24 January 2007 (UTC)|
I agree with DiZ on this one. The problem is at least partly pacing: it is just flat dead boring to read a section like the one on "Economy". Although the facts may be spurious and even ridiculous the delivery falls flat. The lists of "Wealthiest Places" and "Facts" and "Famous People" are just barely more enjoyable than being on the business end of a dental drill.
I think the author's heart is in the right place -- just behind his sternum -- but he could perhaps benefit by studying comic technique. Read the Monty Python's Flying Circus sketches, watch the better Comedy Central stand-ups, read Pat McManus and James Thurber and Tim Cahill.
Look at delivery. Pacing. Flow.
Uncyc is not meant to be a place for outdoorsy anecdotes like those of McManus or ironic fin-de-whiskey essays like those of Thurber. BUT! It does require the author to entertain the reader. And that means that although the subject and form may be different, the comic techniques of the masters apply.
Actually, it's not easy to write an article on a city or a state or a country and make it cohesive and funny. There are an awful lot of awful articles out there.----OEJ 02:45, 26 January 2007 (UTC)
Shouldn't this talk page be deleted since the current article is nothing like it was in 2007? I would delete it if I didn't think I'd get banned as a result.