Talk:Serbia

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Vandalism

Someone wrote something on the quotes, and I don't think it's supposed to be there. Some ex-yu person.

EDIT** Okay, it's supposed to be there. I just don't think that anybody but the editors are going to know what the joke is. Honestly, I don't think it should be on there.

Adam and Eve

A reference to Adam and Eve's being Serbian should be included somewhere in this article. Because they def were.

The Pride of Serbia

Novak Djokovic is from Serbia. He is the King of Tennis: check it King of Tennis. Serbia is Cool, so Suck it.

Addition

LET PEOPLE EDIT THE SERBIA PAGE! MOLIM <3

serbs are the shit.

ablativ

hahaha, a ti bi mogao malo da naucis da se ne brkas s padezima, ti i u drzavnu zajednicu, koji to bese padez ABLATIV??? ahahahha

ja sam glup i ne znam padeze

Why do Serbs go on a holiday to Turky? Because they where in a same state with them most of the time. Zasto Srbi idu na ljetovanje u Tursku? Jer su sa njima najduze bili u drzavnu zajednicu!!!

Horde Zla rules! Momak iz Kragujevca htio je biti bolji ljubavnik. Poslušao je upute vračare: uhvatio je ježa s one strane puta, polio ga vrućom vodom, od ježevog urina skuhao kavu, a onda...

Tridesetogodišnjak iz okolice Kragujevca javio se na tamošnju Urološku kliniku s izbušenim penisom i obilnim krvarenjem.

Ovo je samo jedan od primjera, navodi srpski tabloid Kurir, kako Kragujevčani pokušavaju ojačati svoju muškost i "osvježiti" seksualni život.

Profesor dr. Srećko Đorđević, urolog u Kliničkom centru u Kragujevcu, kaže da se sve češće u svom radu susreće s muškarcima koji se iživljavaju nad svojom muškošću.

"Još jedan od mojih pacijenta poslušao je savjet vračare za povećanje potencije i stavio testise između dva mlinska kamena. Na odjel je stigao s nevjerojatnim oteklinama među preponama. Na kliniku dolaze muškarci s raznim stranim predmetima u mjehuru. I oštrim i tupim. Kako bi pojačali ili izazvali erekciju, u mokraćni kanal stavljaju čavle, ukosnice, pa čak i zrna graha", priča profesor Đorđević.

Jedan od najnevjerojatnijih slučajeva iz bogatog iskustva doktora Đorđevića je onaj mladog Kragujevčanina koji je penis stavio na panj - i odsjekao ga sjekirom.

"Kada je došao u kragujevački Klinički centar, bio je u kritičnom stanju, s odječenim penisom zamotanim u ručnik. Nisam vjerovao da će uspjeti, ali sve se dobro završilo. Na sreću, R. S. je imao dosta materijala, pa se imalo što i prišiti", prisjeća se doktor.

Na posljednjoj kontroli pohvalio se doktoru Đorđeviću da sve radi bez greške, i to skoro svakog dana, ali da ipak malo osjeća bolove kad se mijenja vrijeme.

O sudbini nesretnog ježa s početka priče Kurir nije saznao ništa.

I protest because this article is locked, while any moron can shit around on article about Croatia. (I laughed at both articles, but it is unfair that I cannot edit article about Serbia while any Serb can edit article about Croatia. And no, I didn't want to insult, I just wanted to change one small thing to make it funnier; because there is a REAL FACT in the infobox, I wanted to change it to something funnier ;) ) Johnny 20:23, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

I am from serbia but I also protest! Unlock this article (btw who can unlock it?)!!! --Perica 14:20, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

I ja sam iz srbiju i protestujem! Chak sam i napravio usera i napisao neshto o sebi samo da bih dodao sledece, i PRC! Moto: Sta nam je sad to trebalo? Moto 2: Sta nam je sad to opet trebalo? Pozdrav: Jeb'o te bog. Odgovor: Bog te jeb'o. --sqba 13:16, 14 November 2006

No entiendo nada. Pueden porfa' hablar espanol?

great !!

and Slobodan said: Where one sERB is that is sERBIA, ha, now is he in HAAG...

nope. he's back!

And who knows better than us, Klingons. We want right to speak for our selfs, or... ...we gonna send a bunch of Vogons to show you paragraph 22...

Right to write! Right to write! Right to write! Right to write! Right to write!

Laughing cramps

Who the fuck wrote this? You're all sick.

Well, it's better than being a humourless moron. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 00:05, 26 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Listen to this idiot. Buddy, I guess you did not realize, this is all joke.

Excelent article, shows almost all stereotypes about us...LOL. Some maybe can't understand this type of humor but not all people are same... I speak at least for 10 people who are now dead from laughing at this article...I am kind of sorry, couse they where my friends...but they died happy...hehe.

The Capital

The Capital is where the Preasident presides so that clearly has to be Beograd.

--Unregistered Neanderthal

Well, now the rationale for Den Haag is lost, since the president in question is dead and buried near Požarevac (Serbia). And also - a proposition for the anthem - "Od Topole pa do Ravne Gore" (English trnsl. "From Tokyo to Milwakee")

Savo r00lz!!!

I can't believe it! This page desperately needs some editing! How the hell could you leave out Сава Савановић (aka - Licimur) from the famous serbs list? I pitty you... You will all feel the power of Nikola Tesla soon enough! Bacon is my god! Jihad on Uncyclopedia, I say!

We want SAVA!

Places in Serbia

Here`s my suggestion:

Cities & Towns

Beograd - Whiteblizzard

Novi Sad - New Now

Niš - Nouse (derrived from „mouse“)

Kragujevac - Sparrowhawk city

Smederevo - Dareskindeox

Kraljevo - King’s

Jagodina - Strawberry’s

Čačak - Mud (tur.)

Užice - Inwires

Negotin - Notnakedteen

Zaječar - Forisspell

Subotica - Littlesaturday

Peć - Heater

Novi Pazar - New Market

Sjenica - Littleshaddow

Gornji Milanovac - Upper Dearmoney

Donji Milanovac - Lower Dearmoney

Obrenovac - Ohwellmoney

Mladenovac - Bride’smoney

Bor - Pine

Sombor - Catfishpine

Vršac - Topper

Pančevo - Pančev’s (see Darko Pančev)

Topola -ThatHalf

Minor places

Mali Mokri Lug - Little Wet Grove

Veliki Mokri Lug - Big Wet Forest

Crna Trava - Black Weed

Zmajevo - Dragonland

a leskovac?

Hehe

Add this map :) hehe --Srbijanković2 00:47, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

you are assholes

Add the map!

Famous Serbs

Novak Djokovic obvi... and James Bond (at least the original) [[1]] ama ljudi bre a gde je Nedja sa TV Duge

ljudi nole(djokovic) nema svoj artikl!!! pravite!!!

National Hero: Niko Bellic (Grand Theft Auto IV)

Molim da se doda i Vuk Stefanovic Karadzic ('zvin'te sto nemam dijakritike, mrzi me da instaliram to pod Windows-om), na engleskom Wolf Stevenson Dickinson.

 --- wayward (18-8-2008)

A NIK SLOTER ? Nick Slaughter for president!

ti qifsha 400 milion breza FUCK YOU

Alo be! Špricer!

Mixture of wine and bubbly water in Serbia is špricer (shpritzer), not gemišt! Gemišt is a drink of Youthere's (Croatians)! Don't forget that, or else you could be hurt, very, very bad...

More of the famous places

Bujanovac - Thrivingmoney

Dušanovac - Soulmoney

Dobanovci - Agemoneys

Buđanovci - Moldymoneys (with some moldy aircraft nearby :DDDD)

Ugrinovci - Heatthemoneys

Even More of the famous places

Vranje actually exists! Or existed, once upon a time on this site. What's happend to the article?

shvatam da je ovo zajebavanje ali stvarno nije u redu da ismevate svoju otadžbinu sramota je ovaj članak ma koje da je prirode

Albania

Why while all other Balkan countries articles are mildly offensive to the described country, vigory humorous and self-criticising the Albanian article is offensive to Serbs, full om Albanian nationalistic mambo-jumbo and locked from modification? Should not you guys nationally cleanse their article? --- Some Greek guy. Albania sucks ass.

One more thing

I would like to add how during the war in 1990 how serbian war criminals slaughtered many croats and bosnians. The European Union won't let Serbia join unless they hand over the war criminals. Serbia's response... the president took a dump in front of the European Union Building. No one was surprised.

it could be a bit funnier --Тиранин 11:22, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

you mean war heros.

Famous people

Under Culture

Baklava!!

Add the map click on link to view map

http://www.box.net/shared/w781x0a8sk

That can be arranged as soon you add to the Croatian article that Croatian favourite passtime is slaughtering and expelling Serbs...

Vojvodina

Može li iko da počne da pravi stranicu zvanu " Vojvodina " a da je ovi admini ne izbrisu PaxEquilibrium 13:10, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Improve this article /open it to public!

Please improve this article and make it funny for whole ex-Yugoslavia. For example, article about Croatia can be funny to the entire world. And of course there are still some phrases which only Croats or ex-Yugoslavians can understand. This article can be funny only, and only to Serbs themselves. As non Serbian, I found this article to be quite boring. It's probably hilarious to Serbs, but I simply don't get the jokes.

Also, I don't see why this article is locked? All other articles about ex-Yugoslavian countries are open to everyone.

Add this for example (situation about wars in 91-95): ar

Everyone in Serbia knows that they are right. Others, including the ICTY, are not so smart.

Kristijan Golubovic

Must be added to the list of famous Serbs. He can do a billion push ups, exercises his biceps by running and knows how judge Falcone was killed. He's also had his nose septum DEVIATION broken. Don't forget the famous incident when he took a Rolex and a Mercedes away from a Turkish pimp. He also has two friends. One of them is a bodybuilder and the other one is a coward.

Novak Djokovic

We need to mention Novak Djokovic once more, because he's so fantastic! Nole, aka the absolute greatest tennis player living!!! - The Djoker :

Konj

Nije Miloš, nego Mihailo Obrenović.

Map

Europe according to Serbia

Can somebody include this map into article? CarTrajan 00:23, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

--This map alone is hilarious and definitively worth putting in the article!(April 19th 2013)

Not funny

Current minister of Alcoholism, Šabanism and Grand Theft displays the very core of Serbian culture: drinking menstrual blood from a bottle.

Menstrual blood? Really? That doesn't meet the usual standards of humor on here. I love uncyclopedia, but that's just really wrong. And SICK - and not in the least funny. I was laughing really hard until i got to that... DELETE, kthanks.

Let Us Edit, por favor!

Considering everything else in the article, that isn't too bad. Anyway, we only censor if the joke is bad as in unfunny/straight out bullying/abuse or a better version comes along. Any ideas? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:36, March 9, 2012 (UTC)

The page is protected as it had become the continuation of wars that followed the breakup of Yugoslavia by other means (i.e. abuse and worse). If you want to improve the article, register an account here. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:42, March 9, 2012 (UTC)