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This is definitely an actual credible source for information on tacking monkeys. I was almost eaten by a government monkey in a walmart. I know you may not think those people greeting you at walmart are government monkeys, but many of them are. You know that cheesy smile they give you, well they're thinking you are a banana. But really, those government monkeys are in fact very vicious and must be contained before they cause more casualties. Eventually more people will see this article and realize the need for government monkey police. Also, watch out for their signature flying monkey poo.
The flying monkey poo is a signature move in which the monkey throws his feces after a multiple step process. First, the monkey goes into a bear in the woods squat. Next the monkey excretes a substance from its bottome end. Reaching around to grab the excellent specimen of his manliness, the monkey sniffs and usually approves of the specimen. Finally, the monkey hurls with all its might at the tax offender. This can occur because it is marking its territory on the new found banana (actually a human, but the monkey doesn't know that; it thinks the human is a overly large walking banana; the monkeys are under the influence of the halucenagens added to their water at their government cages).
edit government monkeys II
Public Service Announcement- Governement monkeys have a morbid, deathly fear of white rabbits. If anyone needs to seek shelter during a government monkey raid, enter the nearest pet store or build a smokey campfire at your earliest convinence.