Talk:Rich guys who blow all their money on expensive whores
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edit Pee Review
- Ell, I suppose I'll review this, too. Earth day, give or take a time zone (and possibly a daylight savings time), the usual, and you shall have a review. Hopefully a useful one, at that. Cheers. -- 20100903 - 15:36 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||Y'know, this starts out a lot funnier than it ends. Mocking economics apparently lends itself well to something so arbitrary, and from the introduction, one would expect the article as a whole to address this, when not all of it does. Shame, really. The intro is pretty funny between the examples and the reason why it is such an issue. The whole thing would probably be more effective in general if it followed what's introduced, though, so if you want to keep the main body's topics, you'd have to change the introduction up a bit. Except I still think it's the best part.
|Concept:||6||You come up with the strangest things. You really do. Still, this does have hope. The whole idea of something so utterly seemingly arbitrary as an intrinsic (or whatever the word I really mean is) part of the local and global economy could probably lend itself quite well to a riot of laughs, though it really doesn't yet... I think what it really needs, aside from general clean-up, is just more on the actual overarching subject - the rich guys who blow all their money on expensive whore and how they are such an important part of a healthy economy, as mentioned in the intro. When it gets off subject, that's where it really declines. It could just be that those other sections just need more, but if they can tie into that better, it could also help.
Consider the prices of vaccinations, for instance. Not only do they hinder the spread of STDs by vaccinating their whores, but by paying for that the rich guys are also supporting pharmaceutical and medical business by being so prominent and, well, rich of customers. you might be able to make that funny somehow or expand into some other thing about how they are supporting medical research by providing funds or something. It's not just dentists that benefit from their patronage and have recently gone out of business, after all. A loss of research funds could really kill medicinal progress, proving that said rich guys are far more important than just a mere economical asset.
|Prose and formatting:||4||It's. Laid. And other things, probably. Probably want to grammar check it after you enact fix ups, though.
In other news, having the first image to the left makes for a rather oddly positioned table of contents on mid-sized resolutions. Just so you know. Overly narrow or overly wide look fine, though.
Is having a single subsection of a section that contains nothing but the subsection really necessary? You know which section I'm talking about... surely it could have a better way of getting to the specific.
Also, it needs a conclusion of some sort. Or some sort of reasonably ending end, at any rate. It kind of just ends, as is.
|Images:||5||Sorry, but I really don't see a pattern... so whatever you're getting at with those appears to have escaped me. Thus, the following does not address whatever it may be:
The images, while mainly suitable examples of the subject, don't really do much for the joke. Where are the punchlines, both funny and integrative of the article? How do they support the thing itself? Aside from the batman one, I just don't see that they're funny at all, which is odd considering how you usually seem to do them.
The whale one, on the other hand, like that particular section, why is it even there? It's mostly just gross, and what does whores knowing how to do that (let alone why they would) have to do with the rich guys who blow all their money on expensive whores?
|Miscellaneous:||5||Seemingly appropriate number for its current state.|
|Final Score:||26||This clearly isn't one of your better works... but you being you, you probably could bring it around with some effort. Even as it is I'd vote keep on vfd, as it's not that bad. Just not that good, either... more mediocre. Hopefully some of this can help you bring it around so that it becomes a worthy article of standing with your others. Though maybe not the blood one. That one's pretty damn amazing.|
|Reviewer:||-- 20100903 - 19:49 (UTC)|