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|Humour:||6.5||Hey. This is pretty good. The reality is that you're talking about a garden variety zombie movie plot, with a few extra monsters thrown in for good effect.
So although I've never played the game, I recognise the plot elements from watching Evil Dead, Living Dead, Walking Dead, Braindead, Killer tomatoes, and the Ivanhoe Girls Grammar C-grade debating team. In fact that last one still scares me.
This is probably something I would play more with. The truth is that the genre is filled with plot-holes and stupid concepts. Probably the most recent terrible one of these I have seen is Quarantine 2: Terminal. Having said that the first one of that series wasn't that bad.
But you've started to pull apart at the plot holes here. One major one is that while there is a terrible tragedy, the first response is to send in the B-team, wait until they are killed or otherwise incapacitated, and then send in the best.
Plucking at these strings is what I love to see in articles on this genre. More of it please.
Oh, and lose one of the lede quotes. I hate lede quotes.
|Concept:||7||Given I've just covered this above, I'm going to directly answer your questions.
How does it look so far?
Should I make it longer or just write a conclusion paragraph?
Should I include the picture of the female zombie I put at the end?
|Prose and formatting:||7||Very good. You used the word kernel for kennel at one stage, but beyond that spelling is fine, and grammar seems okay.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again. An infobox appears on 99% of Wikipedia pages. Infoboxes give a fantastic ability to add in quick gags.
Basically this is where you should have the quick gag that you're putting in the lede quotes. I'd get rid of both of them (work the same joke into the text somewhere - maybe change Reviews to Reception and put in in there) and have the infobox instead.
Had to do it somewhere. Screen shots can be awkward, but here they work well. Maybe your final image can be shipped to have that slightly pixelated quality of the game shots to suit?
|Miscellaneous:||7||Good start. Hope that I've helped.|
|Reviewer:||Pup 07:32 12-03-12|