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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the MacBook article.
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edit From Pee Review

This is my first article on Uncyclopedia, written over the course of two days. I'd like a little constructive criticism on it. (I'm aware that that last sentence was redundant, considering I've already posted this on Pee Review.) Thank you very much in advance! --Icons-flag-ca #1_ALF_FAN 22:37, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 7 It's pretty goofy, but at the same time hilarious.
Concept: 8 The concept is a little shakey, but you pulled it off well.
Prose and formatting: 9 Article is well put together. It's easy to read, and, for the most part, looks professional.
Images: 7 The video professor image nearly made me wet myself! I like the witches as well, but I didn't understand the 'MacTuff' image. You could have some more images near the end of the article as well.
Miscellaneous: 8 Article contains well thought out plot and in depth humor.
Final Score: 39 Overall, this article is a good one. I was skeptical at first as to how you would pull off an article about the MacBook. You pulled it off, and in phenominal fashion. A little fine tuning with the humor and images, and you'll be on your way to VFH!
Reviewer: --Blahshoe 04:39, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments; I've added in two more images near the end, as per your advice. One pertains to MacPong; the other is the famous "King Hereafter Edition" MacBook. I've also added a small explanation for the MacTuff image in the adjacent paragraph. (Incidentally, have you ever read/watched Macbeth? I was trying to reference the line the First Apparition says to Macbeth: "Beware Macduff.")

However, I'm completely stuck as to what I can do with the humour. Do you have any ideas, or could you at least tell me what specific areas I should work on?

Thank you very much! -- Icons-flag-ca #1_ALF_FAN 22:04, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Hey, I laughed.
Concept: 9 High concept, merges two things very smoothly.
Prose and formatting: 10 Marvellously encyclopedic.
Images: 7 LOL at the MacPong "go do some work" screen.
Miscellaneous: 7
Final Score: 41 The only sticking point I can see for VFH is that it's too geeky and high-concept. I dunno. Poo jokes, dick jokes and pratfalls? Only if they can be fitted in absolutely smoothly - if not, then bugger VFH.
Reviewer: - David Gerard 11:29, 6 February 2007 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the second review! Looks like there's not much more I can do, then. And, as far as VFH goes, even if the topic might be a little too geeky, I'd still like to give it a try -- I just don't want to nominate it myself and look self-centred. But, with some help, the geeks can take VFH! Let us march! It shall be our destiny!

edit Hoots!

This article is very good, I applaud the author. That MacBook clan get everywhere, eh? -- Hindleyite Converse 14:40, 8 December 2007 (UTC)

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