Talk:League of Nations

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edit From Pee Review

I've rewritten it with a "Sports game" theme. —Braydie at 21:27, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Needs more jokes for my liking.
Concept: 8 I like the idea. However, I don't think it's pushed far enough. Talk about the battle in more of a sporting context, perhaps referencing scores, fouls (maybe Japan could have points taken away for war crimes) and using sporting cliches. Also mention Russia's home advantage against Germany.
Prose and formatting: 8 Largely well-written, although there are a few bits that I'll tidy up.
Images: 7 I like the Battle of Britain image. The others are appropriately chosen, but I'm sure someone (not me) could create something great with photoshop. I'd like to see a team picture, or Wilson holding the league trophy.
Miscellaneous: 6 I don't like the idea of WW2 being the only game, since you refer to battles within it as games. Instead I think WW2 should be the only season. Then you could write about pre-season and how Italy had a warm-up fixture against Abyssinia and Germany went to their Rhineland training camp.
Final Score: 35 Like I said, a very good idea, but not yet executed to its fullest potential.
Reviewer: -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  13:50, 28 January 2007 (UTC)



edit Great work

This article is really great! One of the best I've read! I've made some changes and added som stuff on the pre-season, If it's ok with the writer, would love to add more, about Japan-China, the Finnish Winter game and of the course, the Italian pasta Championship! The preceding unsigned comment was added by 81.232.66.12 (talk • contribs)

Go for it, I don't mind. —Braydie 15:31, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
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