Talk:Kreator

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(Review with Constructive critique suggestions)
(Pee Review)
 
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{{User:LisaKachold/sig}} <font style="font-size:9px;">04:38, 29 December 2009</font>
 
{{User:LisaKachold/sig}} <font style="font-size:9px;">04:38, 29 December 2009</font>
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- Sorry for replying to this so late, but you have no idea how a guitar works do you? --[[User:Wilytank|Wilytank]] 15:35, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Latest revision as of 15:35, February 14, 2010

edit Pee Review

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Pee_Review/Kreator L!$@ Lisalisa(Meow!)(Contribs) 03:09, 29 December 2009

  1. Suggestion:

Section: Writing style needs some rework for good fun! I would rewrite the sentences into a better 3rd person narrative. While the writing style is obviously meant to be "death metal" dull, like a head banger, it could be cleaned up a tad, adding some links?

  1. Examples

OLD:

Three other musicians went on a manhunt for him after learning of this incident. There three men are Trey Azagthoth, Dead, and Kerry King. Dead, who was the only one of the group who didn't play guitar, thought it would be just easier to kill himself. Mille was challenged by Kerry and Trey to two consecutive Guitar Duels in which the loser would die. First up was Kerry, who Mille beat in 20 seconds (as would anyone). Trey was next. An epic solo duel went on for 333 days between the gods of death metal and thrash metal guitar. After 22nd hour of the 334th day, Trey and Mille simultaneously broke their E-string thus ending the guitar duel.

NEW:

After learning of this incident, three musicians, Trey Azagthoth, Dead, and Kerry King organized a manhunt. Dead, the only non-guitarist in the posse, decided it easier to kill himself than continue. Kerry and Trey challenged Mille to sequential Deathmatch Guitar Duels. Ready to give his life rather than lose, Kerry bested Mille in just 20 seconds, leaving reverb in the blurred wake. An epic solo duel continued for 333 days between the gods of death metal and thrash metal guitar. After 22nd hour of the 334th day, gods of death metal and thrash metal guitar, Trey and Mille simultaneously threw E-strings, ending the guitar duel, killing only Catgut, and Dead.

L!$@ Lisalisa(Meow!)(Contribs) 04:38, 29 December 2009


- Sorry for replying to this so late, but you have no idea how a guitar works do you? --Wilytank 15:35, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

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