Talk:Jehovah's Witnesses

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Boo ya!

I really really liked the "Jesus' Return" part. It's hilarious because they keep revising the supposed date of the second coming.

That first picture is hilarious. Roman Dog Bird 01:58, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

edit Term: Field Ministry...

This is that Door to Door Preaching they do.

Another deterrent could be that you try a door knocker that is shaped like huge male parts (seen a pic on google images once) and the ladies and gents may skip your house entirely. Of course, if they don't you really have to wonder - LOL. contributed by user: Elisabeta

edit Notice to Haters and Witnesses

Please...PLEASE don't change this article because of your personal views. It is supposed to be funny, and random negative rants about beliefs and customs ain't funny. Use wit, use satire, make a ****ing poop joke I don't care, just please don't bring your "Wikipedia locked it so I'm gonna go over here now" attitude and BE FUNNY AND NOT STUPID.

And to Witnesses... I know it's annoying but please don't make any changes to the article unless it's like I mentioned above. And if you do, please be funny. This is not a serious article, so real facts are pointless.

That said, my point remains about people (they sound like ex-witnesses or something) just making disgruntled rants in the article.

THERE. Admins, can you please lock this? --Paramore vs. Hole 05:45, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

edit Clemens177 says:

I found the article to be devoid of any real humor, and quite a bit too angry and serious towards a bizarre but harmless people. Knowing their faith, I have put in some funnier items about them, while at the same time taking away a tiny bit of the more pointless rants.

Couldn't really do a complete re-write, though, as badly as it needs it. To do so would no doubt get me the accusation of being a Witness!

edit Vandalism

So some IP keeps reverting this to. Please writing this. It is consider harassment. Harassment is a crime. I tried to trim some of the stuff that he might have found insulting, but I doubt he'll notice. (Don't worry, I didn't take out anything that was funny) JackOfSpades (talk) 20:20, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

edit how about...

They state that this ability to understand the Bible comes from their absolute faith in the literal truth of the Bible and that exactly is why they use their very own bible translation!


Jehovah's Witnesses powers include but are not limited to:

  • doing the same old mistakes over and over again
  • constantly showing themselves up


Guide to Jehovah's Witness Terminology:

  • Apostates - reasoning people, intellectuals, promoted academics and all other other f*****g nah sayers!!!

I'll be baack. Facepalm square (talk) 22:27, February 2, 2013 (UTC)

In Jw isms need to add Apostates - Ex Witnesses working for Satan and filled with 7 demons with a unquenchable desire to ruin all Jehovah's Witnesses relationship with God by destroying their faith.......................reality, just people that left the religion and learned the truth about the truth and are warning them. These are called whistleblower heros. '''''''

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