Talk:India

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For the longest time India has been complaining about the nightly migration of Bangladeshi men who go to satisfy the very unsatisfied Indian women all night and come back to Bangladesh in the morning. To keep them away, the Indian men with extremely small penises have "erected" a fence all around Bangladesh. The fence looks like a giant condom from space, preventing mother india from getting banged by the Bang-ladeshis.
+
;Talk prior to rewrite has been moved to [[Talk:India/Archive]]
 
"This Reverse Psychology worked as the British got confused and left."
 
This is really a debatable strategy for Independence fight.
 
Is it applicable in rest of the world?
 
 
: If this is the only thing you find debatable on this page, I suggest you read it through once more, then get confused and go to the bathroom. --{{User:Suresh/sig}} 11:20, 2 March 2006 (UTC)
 
 
== This page is too serious ==
 
 
I don't think there's enough funny and too much serious. Most pages are the opposite: too much serious making things generally sill and not funny, but this is trying too hard to not be this.
 
its totally pathetic .
 
the writer needs to get a life .
 
 
This is why I added the call centre bit. And added some repetition into the listing of the things indians are known for (repeating cricket).
 
 
Another thing is that it sounds too serious in the general vibe. Pretty anally retentive.
 
[[User:202.147.44.80|202.147.44.80]] 04:17, 5 July 2006 (UTC)
 
 
I agree. This article needs major cleanup.
 
--[[User:Sohil|sohil]] 19:57, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
 
 
Look at the [[Bangladesh]] article. I try to be very serious, but I exaggerate the reality to the point where it's funny. India could follow a similar pattern. [[User:InMooseWeTrust|InMooseWeTrust]] 11:29, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 
 
i agree...its not so funny...open the article to changes, it will definitely work out for the better. i feel very bad having such a trash page for my motherland.
 
--[[user:bias.singh|bias.singh]]
 
 
== New Unit ==
 
 
Apparently, 1 ''lot'' = 1.125<small>E</small>25
 
 
We should make a page about this scientific discovery.
 
--[[User:Donut|Donut]] <small>[[User_talk:Donut|Buy one!]]|[[Special:Contributions/Donut|Get one Free!]]|[[F@H]]|[[Order_of_Uncyclopedia#Member_.28MUN.29|MUN]]</small> 05:06, 16 July 2006 (UTC)
 
 
Wow, when did bashing become humor?
 
 
== Pretty Lousy Article! ==
 
 
I feel sorry for those who think this page is humurious. Its time someone rectified content on this page to give it a taste of reality. The current content is utter crap. - [[Special:Contributions/219.64.11.37|User 219.64.11.37]]
 
 
:you could help by adding the "might be funny in an alternate universe" template by adding this, <nowiki>{{Alternate Universe}}</nowiki>, to the article if you feel strongly about it and and leaving a slightly more detailed critique here; like which sections, you think, are pathetic, or how you would like to see the article improved. of course, if you could edit a section or two, to make it more humorous, you would be showing by example: which would be a better way of approaching the whole thing. --{{User:Mowgli/sig}} 09:50, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
 
 
==For those making additions/alterations to [[India#Language policy|Language policy]]==
 
 
* Please be funny in your additions. Avoid stating facts (that will inevitably be from a subjective POV in this section) unless you are ready to parody them in the same edit. Everything goes '''only''' if it is funny. Keep in mind that this is a contentious section and a long tirade of insults, one from each side, does not make for fun reading. --{{User:Mowgli/sig}} 06:42, 15 October 2006 (UTC)
 
 
== I think this article is excellent! ==
 
 
I'm suprised it hasn't been featured yet. Maybe it contains too many injokes (eg. lal loo).
 
Perhaps you have to be Indian to get it??
 
 
Good job, well done to those who have contributed to this article. - [[User:Tt22|Tt22]] 22:11, 27 December 2006 (UTC)
 
 
THIS WAS HILARIOOOUS!! you may have to be indian/pakistani/bangladeshi to get some parts though
 
 
== Interesting, but I read somewhere that this was what India was: ==
 
 
India is a fictional place, rumored to have been created by J.R.R Tolkien whilst he wrote the Lord of the Rings trilogy. He had planned for it to be a large area occupied mainly by hobbits, leprechauns and other fictional creatures such as the French, for example. In the un-edited version of the book, which only 3 people in the world own, this section is still included. In this legendary tome, the region contributes for a large proportion of the population of Middle Earth (roughly 17%) and many of the inhabitants have spread to other areas, such as The Shire, and set up small corner shops and take-aways.
 
 
This passage was taken out of the mainstream edition of the book as Tolkiens trusted friend Samuel L. Jackson thought that the name of the place seemed too much like a real place called "England", and also bore some resemblance to the fictional place "Bethlehem" which was quoted in the famous children's book "The Bible", written by Will Ferrell.
 
 
CURRY CURRY CURRY CURRY CURRY CURRY CURRY don't behave we'll send you to India", which in English roughly translates to "Shut up!" Also, in Zimbabwe "India" is considered to be the depiction of heaven given to them by their Messiah. They try to prove themselves to Tolkien, their Messiah, by re-enacting famous events in his trilogy, such as the "Battle of Helm's Deep" and Frodo's struggle in Shelob's lair.
 
 
===Addition===
 
That bit about Tolkien etc works much better added into the article, rather than replacing it entirely. [[User:RabbiTechno|RabbiTechno]] 19:20, 19 March 2007 (UTC)
 
 
== From Pee Review ==
 
 
{{Pee Review Table
 
|Hscore=5.5
 
|Hcomment=The humour in this very wide-ranging article varies widely. Some of it is shit. Some is reasonably funny. See endnotes.
 
|Cscore=7
 
|Ccomment=There are some good concepts here...and some very bad ones.
 
|Pscore=5
 
|Pcomment=Needs help.
 
|Iscore=6
 
|Icomment=See endnotes.
 
|Mscore=5
 
|Mcomment=Serious race hatred prevented me from enjoying parts of this article.
 
|Fcomment=
 
|Signature=--[[User:One-eyed Jack|--OEJ]] 16:38, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
 
}}
 
 
Endnotes:
 
 
'''On Humour and Concept:''' First, this is a very long and complex article. The concept of telling Indian history in various programming languages is quite nice, but it dribbles away after the first attempt and comes to nothing in the end. By contrast, the section on "Current Day Indians" is nothing but weak-minded race hatred; it's not clever and not amusing. There are similar examples of assholism here and there in other sections.
 
 
Much of the political material may be funny to Indians but is hard for someone like me -- a country boy from Oregon, USA -- to understand.
 
 
:"Until the population of India exploded, India was a country where each person was allotted 5 square millimetres of space for living(dont forget to menion 60% reservations for st sc bc and obc)(10% proposed reservation for muslims andn bangladeshis).(Wait... there is no reservation yet for the obc's. It is in the list of 'Things to do this term" of the government.)'"
 
 
ST, SC, BC, OBC? Who are these people?
 
 
The authors have choices: they can attempt to make the esoteric parts of the article more accessible to outsiders by concisely explaining what's what. Or they can ramp up the jargon until it becomes an obvious joke (the ST, SC, XT, BC, OBC, XBC, ABC, XXX, WMD, and LOL groups will be adjusted to a fare-the-well with a spanner; and the HURGH, GK, FB, NORK, and FU groups will be awarded a bicycle handgrip for living expenses).
 
 
So: Much of the difficulty comes down to consistency and coherency. An article this length needs strong structure. Lacking that, the reader becomes confused by the sheer volume of disorganized information. Organize this article. Make it consistent if you can. For example, the material under the heading "Sexual Practices" is about a politician, not the sexual practices of Indians. Some of the material under "Economy" is about sexual practices, not economy. The material under "Current Day Indians" appears to be concerned not with India but with immigrants as seen by a juvenile Paki-basher. The last item under "Indian Names in the West" appears to belong under "In the News". The last paragraph under "Sport" has nothing to do with sport.
 
 
It's a jumble. Fix it.
 
 
'''On Prose:''' The English spelling and grammar needs help. "Anonymosity" is not a word. The sentence "George Bush, in an act of solidarity with the republic of IVC, promised the world to hunt down evil, vandal 'Mama,' also known a 'Yo Mama' in Arabic, from the areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan where he was feared to be vandalizing from" should be taken apart and re-assembled into something sensible. The entire "Current Day Indians" section is in a style different from the rest of the article and it should be deleted. Seriously, the writing needs work.
 
 
'''On Images:''' Why in the FUCK do we have to see that inanely grinning fool in blackface on so many articles? The one captioned "India is Diverse"? Delete him, he's irrelevant. The MSPaint pucture of a "Modern-day Indian" is ugly and stupid. The pictures of train riders and of the missile parade are, however interesting and appropriate.
 
 
'''On Race Hatred:''' I've already said that the section titled "Current Day Indians" is stupid and offensive. There are other little lumps of racist garbage scattered around the article. I feel like someone wrote an insider-funny article on India, and a mentally disturbed and not-very-smart paki-basher came along and shoehorned some badly-written hate-cruft into the article later.
 
 
:"The basic anthem of the Indian population is 'Panchod' [cussing] which literally means sister fucking due the rigorous practice of this the Indian population has become really large and fucked up."
 
 
Pointless, vicious slander is not satire. Delete every instance of it and the article will be better.
 
 
Readers are almost always willing to laugh along with someone poking good-humoured fun at a nation, its insititutions, and its people. It's especially funny if the humorist is an insider and can share some of the esoteric quirks and silliness of his people with outsiders. '''''But mean-spirited obscenity, demeaning slander, and racism will virtually always offend intelligent readers.
 
 
There's too much hatred in this article.
 
----
 
I see this article has a relatively long and contentious history. The nastiest section and the ugly MSPaint image were the work of a non-notable user named "poonepounder" who was active only on March 12 2007 and made only 10 edits total to the wiki. His edits to [[Africa]] were stupid and racist, and were quickly reverted. His edits to [[Jew]] were minor and eventually overwritten. --[[User:One-eyed Jack|--OEJ]] 16:57, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
 
 
I notice also that this was originally posted as a complaint from a reader ("displaying hatred and a little insulting too") and not really a request from a writer for advice. Obviously, I agree with the complaint...except that I would say not "a little insulting" but "rife with rampant assholism" instead. The problem is that the article currently has no primary author willing to do the very considerable work of making the article consistent and funny. Too bad. --[[User:One-eyed Jack|--OEJ]] 17:09, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
 
----
 
OK, final note: I deleted the crap written by [[poonepounder]] and cleaned up some of the formatting, restored a sensible version of "Sexual Practices", deleted a few stupidities. It's still a deeply flawed article, though. --[[User:One-eyed Jack|--OEJ]] 17:32, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
 
 
Someone should put in somewhere that Indians are worthless pieces of shit. Filthy cowraping retards. I fucking HATE Indians. (This comment was added by anonymous IP 75.206.38.87
 
 
Satires are okay but going against, hate etc. are going way way too bad. What if I was to write that Americans are a group of adultering prostitutes? huh? -Indian, and proud to be one.
 
 
 
{{Pee Review Table
 
|Hscore=5
 
|Hcomment= its ok not so funny
 
|Cscore=5
 
|Ccomment=some are good
 
|Pscore=5
 
|Pcomment= ok
 
|Iscore=4
 
|Icomment= ok
 
|Mscore=0
 
|Mcomment=very racial, full of hatred , vulgar and derogatory language in matting section !!
 
|Fcomment=
 
|Signature=--[[IT ]]
 
}}
 
 
== Redo ==
 
 
I propose that we delete the whole article, and start over. A lot of stuff here is racist, too serious, and doesn't explore more non-racist stereotypes.
 
 
[[User:Hdgcfcf|Hdgcfcf]] 23:57, 5 June 2007 (UTC)
 
:While I agree that the article is in a bad shape, I think there are some fairly good funny elements which should be retained. [[User:SillyGuy|SillyGuy]] 07:33, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
 
 
I see nothing "racist" in there. You must be yet another thin skinned, whinging indian. How typical!!--[[Special:Contributions/196.20.73.59|196.20.73.59]] 14:40, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 
 
Well...well, Indians aint dat bad as depicted here!
 
but what the fuck is uncyclopedia 4....just 2 smear shit all around.
 
 
So, nevermind...the 'very' thin line between humour n cheapness is very easily disturbed!
 
 
== Lack ==
 
 
1 lakh = 100000
 
so
 
1 lack =10^5
 
 
[[User:202.54.254.66|202.54.254.66]] 07:25, 7 December 2007 (UTC)
 
 
== Rice 'N Dal ==
 
 
All Indians eat Rice 'N Dal TM every meal.
 
 
[[User:202.54.254.66|202.54.254.66]] 07:25, 7 December 2007 (UTC)
 
==Aussie People==
 
The cricket part was written by a descendant of European criminal scum who is born and brought up in the land of criminals. It is obvious that those scumbags have psychopathic racist criminal mentality inherited into their genes. If Indians are racists what hell are you? Go back and read what you have written calling Indians as "baboons" you bastards are racists too. Racism provokes racism. I cannot believe that this website allows such utterly biased racist content. I thought this websites portrays truth in a funny way though a bit offensive here and there. Indigenous Australians were given the right to vote in Commonwealth elections in Australia in November 1963. Learn how to spell "capital" its not capitol deuche bags.
 
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convictism_in_Australia
 
 
 
Learn how to spell DOUCHE BAG, you whinging indian douche bag. That one line alone has shown you for what you really are - another smart mouthed indian who deserves a smack in the face. Fu<k off and burn an effigy of ms dhoni, you 3rd world piece of scum. Don't forget to hit it with your shoe for added effect.
 
 
You know damn well that indians are the most racist people on this planet - your entire hindu religion is based on racism!!! I take it you're a high caste indian, (seeing as you can afford a PC).
 
 
No wonder we want you all out of our country, all you do is whinge, whine, complain, cheat and drive our taxis. indians have no concept of loyalty whatsoever, you'd all sell your 8 year old sisters for a few rupees (hang on, thats called a dowry isn't it?)
 
--[[Special:Contributions/196.20.73.59|196.20.73.59]] 14:52, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 
 
Above quote should be put in the article. it is really good.
 
 
== Cricket thing ==
 
4 JUNE UPDATE-templars26
 
i changed the part where aussie simons was called a black and that part...
 
i am sure that an angry aussie fan added that... i have chnged a few incorrect things. we did not think simons to be a black as reported by international media but simple thought he had resembled a monkey...(when i say we i refer to the people did that sad act)
 
i dont want this to be a racial issue hence chnged the angle a bit
 
+ it wasnt very funny lets make this a funny article and not a article for hatred...
 
( i personally support the aussie team even though i am an indian... but we did not intend to racially make fun of andrew)
 
 
Who ever that retard was who wrote the part on the monkey calling (cricket) thing doesn't sound funny. Please rewrite that part.
 
::::I think it is pretty funny and should not be taken to heart. If you are an Indian Cricket fan or even just plain Indian, why don't you write the Australian equivalent. You could call us a bunch of pink skinned idiots who win cricket matches way to often. You could even say something like, why do you call your self white when you are actually pink and stink of smelly disgusting soap and deodorant and not curry and shit. No I think Indian people a nice people with comical accents, who may also be very smart and analytical but still comical. [[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 01:08, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
 
I think you must be from Cairo Egypt [[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 06:36, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 
 
This part was written by a descendant of European criminal scum who is born and brought up in the land of criminals. It is obvious that those scumbags have psychopathic racist criminal mentality inherited into their genes. If Indians are racists what hell are you? Go back and read what you have written calling Indians as "baboons" you bastards are racists too. Racism provokes racism. I cannot believe that this website allows such utterly biased racist content. I thought this websites portrays truth in a funny way though a bit offensive here and there. Indigenous Australians were given the right to vote in Commonwealth elections in Australia in November 1963. Learn how to spell "capital" its not capitol douche bags.
 
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convictism_in_Australia
 
*Indigenous Australians were given the right to vote once they learnt how to vote. These people still have trouble fitting in and a lot of them still live in their tribes as homeless people in cities that were once bushland. The cities simply grew around them. Yes we did come from criminals, but now all the criminals are Arabs, Pakistanis, Indians, Meds and so on. And we did not evolve from monkeys, we came from Adam and eve whilst you came from a monkey and slowly evolved in semi human life form over thousands of years.
 
 
No I am not racist, just taking the piss. I actually like Indian people more than some Australian people. It was the Indian cricket fans that brought this upon themselves. You never heard Australian cricketers or fans calling Indians monkeys [[User:Merbabu|MerbabuBombaybelly]] 01:15, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 
 
Australians are MONKEYS. Adam and eve my ass, idiots believe in a fairy tale shit. We Indians were civilized thousands of years before European cunts still hunting in forests and living on trees reproducing by incest. Now go eat shit and go fuck yourself.
 
:::Excuse me, even muslims believe in Adam and Eve. What do you believe in, gorillas turning into cricket players for India and then calling other black people monkeys.Beer Barrals Should be bigger 08:01, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
 
 
No they believe in ganesh, shiva, some sort of rat god, a monkey god and a gazillion other gods. They even build temples to worship their beloved cricketers. Fuck I hate you indians, you're all a bunch of whinging, whining little pussies who have no concept whatsoever of the real world. Burning the Aussie flag in Sydney last week was the final straw, I hope you get what the lebbos got in Cronulla. I'll be on the 1st flight over from Perth to lend the Sydney Aussie boys a hand.--[[Special:Contributions/196.20.73.59|196.20.73.59]] 14:57, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 
 
== mating ==
 
 
INDIAN MEN HAVE EXTREMELY SMALL PENISES SO THEY ARE UNABLE TO MATE. EVERY NIGHT THOUSANDS OF HORNY BANGLADESH MEN SNEAK INTO INDIA AND MATE WITH THEIR WOMEN.
 
 
 
this part is jus ridiculous ... its not at all funny ! its derogatory and humiliating ! there is no need for mating thing ...its not a part of any other country's description
 
::Thats because nobody ever before has ever thought of this, this is ground breaking and there should be one for every article. It should not be taken to heart. Go and write something similar about Australians, we won't mind, our sense of humor involves putting ourselves down [[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 08:21, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 
 
 
we don like to stoop to such a low level....its nt at all funny !! if making fun of women makes u ppl thnk u taking funny ..then god help u ! remove this ugly shit frm ths page
 
::These are only jokes, relax and please write properly so I know whats being said[[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 12:13, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 
 
 
" The only difference is Indian women give birth through the arse and not the vagina, so all Indian people came out of their mothers arseholes. When Indian people have sex the mail Indian shoves his tiny penis in either his male of female partner’s arsehole, a couple of seconds later, after two of three ins and outs the Indian male deposits a small amount of seamen in the females arse crack. This is enough to get the Indian female pregnant. Nine months later the Indian female will suddenly break wind (not water like westerners) and get the urge to crap. The female will suddenly run off to the toilet and take a shit. After taking a shit the husband will come along and sift through the large heap of shit to look for the tiny foetus. After finding the baby and cleaning of all the bits of crap it is then sent of to live with and learn the ways of wild monkeys. After two to three years the baby is returned to its Indian parents. When it returns it comes back with that funny Indian accent that we all know, and says things like, curry curry curry give me curry in a hurry (repeatedly while moving his/her head from side to side quickly). That’s why, we Indian people are so comical to westerners even if we are trying to be serious.
 
Lack of organisation"
 
 
LMAOO THATS SOOO FUNNY, INDIANS ARE STUPID FUCKS =D
 
 
u find this funny ????? i thnk who so ever has commented ths is a retard ..shame on him/her !
 
::Don't make fun of the stronger side of border or you will get nuked, Punjab buttjab butfuk boy boy [[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 06:48, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 
 
:::Curry Curry Curry Give me Curry in a Hurry. Ho ho ho please we can meet up in person and talk about this man to Indian. I am not racist but I do think this is funny. When I was typing it, shhhh don't tell anyone, I actually pissed myself laughing. I went to work, I work in a corporate environment, I showed all the business people in the office what I had written, they couldn't stop laughing. I found it strange that some of the Indian people in the office got up and walked out though. One of them female started crying, I told her to fuck off. The next day the boss fired her for being a sower puss.[[User:Merbabu|User:User:User:Merbabuuuu]] 06:40, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 
 
::::This guys thinks he is so funny. It's really just that he has a diminutive dick that he asks his mother to suck off every other night.
 
 
U pakis atleast start learning to behave on public forums... !!
 
 
U Indians atleast stop hiding away your small crutch behind Ganesha and sucking white cocks to get into london to sell your sisters in soho
 
 
HELLO
 
The reference to the way Indians are born is very offensive. Take it down at once. I know the whole point of Uncyclopedia is to be funny and useless but there is a line and u guys have crossed it. PLEASE REMOVE IT AT ONCE.
 
 
== Remove the mating section and other racist shit.........YOU NOT ==
 
 
This page is not a parody but the work of some sexually frustrated Indian hating beef filled cracker ass-licking pale skinned son of a bitch. I'm just venting. If the moderators of this site have any self respect or humility at all, they will remove such putrid bile from their site. It was probably that "Merbabu" Australian shit filled tape worm that crawled out of the ass of a kangaroo and feeds on koala menstrual blood. If that bastard son of a convict's aborginal whore ever sets foot in India he will get beaten to pulp and splattered all over the outback down-under his mother's fat ass... for spewing his personal hatred and bile especially against Indians. I hope he and his father find this hilarious, because I do.
 
 
As this has been locked for editing with highly racist content, it implies that the people with editing rights are fucking assholes( they themselves will agree to this and enjoy this). now somebody crapped about writing the same about australians. no. i will like to write the same about whoever wrote this crap. and here is in red letters written below this window, ´´Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid´´. interesting.
 
 
:: Exactly, this is no fun - but sheer abusing.... I suppose the motto of this page is to have fun not trouble.
 
 
indian cricket players suck, and so do the fans. what losers. 100 crore people, and the only game they think they're world champions is in a game that is played for a whole day with some 10 or 11 loser countries over and over again. they have champions cup, asia cup, african's cup, crap cup and what not. but the end result is they play each other for like thousands of times coz there are no other teams to compete, but losers don't get tired watching it over and over again.
 
:Thanks for your opinion. What does it have to do with this article? {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>19:17, Jul 27</small></small>
 
 
::::::Hello my fellow indian and I say that without the capitol I. Thankyou for you comments and opinions on this literary masterpiece. I am sure that what you wrote about me above was done in good humor, I sure had a good laugh, and hey, no offense taken. I would be interested to see what you write about us Australian's. When you do this please keep me informed because I don't watch any Australian related articles. If you add something I may jump in and give you a hand. if you have any comment please feel free to leave them on my talk page. You have my permission to say whatever you want. Once again thanks for the laughs. [[User:Merbabu|MerbabuBombaybelly]] 08:11, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 
 
== Why the hell is this article locked? ==
 
I had some decent concepts for the article but alas , this article is locked. Cmon. Locking this article with that stupid crap still in it is sheer insult to readers of uncyclopedia.
 
:I love new users like you. I really do. In the matter of only a few sentences, you've managed to communicate so much ignorance that I had to put duct tape over my ears just to stop my brain from leaking out after you melted it.
 
:First of all, the article is not entirely locked. It is unlocked for registered users, which, as you indicated in your edit summary, was what you wanted. However, it takes four days before you can edit semiprotected articles. If you don't know what a semiprotected article is, or you want to know why, please do us all a favor and fucking Google it.
 
:"sheer insult to readers of uncyclopedia"? Give me a break. If an article actually is locked - fully locked - it's for a good reason. Mostly because it's an in-joke, or it's part of a revert war, or some other practical reason. You see, you seem to be of the opinion that the administrators here are idiots with no sense of humor. Granted, one or two of them might be, but you have to be a douchebag and assume that the people that have been running and doing maintenance on this site for months, possibly years now, have no idea what they're doing, and you, a complete n00b, have every idea. Congratulations! You've just proven what an asshole you are.
 
:As it is, it's semiprotcted to prevent more shit from piling in on it. We don't need IP diarrhea on a page like this, or even new user shit on it either.
 
:Maybe if you have the patience to wait four days from the creation of your account, you might remember to come back and edit this article with your so-called "decent concepts". If so, good for you. Maybe you should write it down just in case you forget, as I predict that the six brain cells contained in your skull don't have the greatest memory capacity. Anyway, welcome to Uncyclopedia! {{User:Dr. Skullthumper/sig|05:15 Sep 05, 2008}}
 
 
== Indian girls marry animals ==
 
i have recently seen news articles regarding indian girls marrying dogs we should put this in the culture section or tradition section heres the link its very interesting
 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/3004930.stm
 
:::That would be to offensive. If you can make it sound funny without being to stupid, well then have a go[[User:Merbabu|MerbabuBombaybelly]] 09:21, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 
::::I'm going to get a dog costume in the hope that this might apply to Shilpa Shetty. Mmm...Shilpa Shetty... {{User:RabbiTechno/sig}} 12:24, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
 
==Cricket Incident Edit Warring==
 
Personally I don't think it's very much amusing, but hey - I don't know squat about cricket. What worries me more is that edit warring without either party trying to talk with the other one. Talk=good. Edit warring=both parties get banned. Talk, get an agreement, let me know what's the decision. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 12:18, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
 
I have stated clearly why that section should not be there....as I said when I first deleted it, 1)Racism and name calling without any humour has no place here. 2)This affair (something that happened on a cricket pitch and has long been forgotten is not important enough to find a place in an article about India. User Merbabu keeps reverting it without specifying a reason.--[[User:Sillierrabbit|Sillierrabbit]] 12:57, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
::You have stated that in change summary. I didn't see any attempt to talk with him directly. Nor did I see such attempt from his side. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:05, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
 
I agree that I did not talk with him directly; as the situation stands, I think it is for him to explain why that section should be there. I welcome any reasoning from his part, either directly to me or on here. I do not think he can convince me that this section is harmless, so rather than us reaching an agreement, maybe it is upto the admins or other users to judge. Do you think saying that africans are all half evolved ape men would be tolerated? Racial insults against any race is racism, you know. Devoting a long section for racist rants is unpardonable. However, if the majority here thinks it is in good taste (which I doubt), you may put the section back, Mordillo. Merbabu, we are waiting.--[[User:Sillierrabbit|Sillierrabbit]] 13:39, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
::You might have noticed that I didn't endorse that part not because of the racist angle but because it's not funny. Racism is widely done around here, as long as it's done in (semi?) good taste or is funny. See [[Jew Claw]] for that matter. Let's wait for the other gent's response. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 13:49, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 
:::That section is not meant to be racist but more of a shit stir due to what happened at the cricket. Some people might get a laugh out of it. I am not racist myself and I would be more than happy to read an Australian version of the same thing[[User:Merbabu|MerbabuBombaybelly]] 22:55, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 
I don't mind the text being removed but you could at least leave the image there. If you want you could add a picture of the Australian cricket team with Kangaroo heads or something of this nature [[User:Merbabu|MerbabuBombaybelly]] 22:58, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 
 
 
You will remember that the whole controversy that day erupted because Andrew Symonds was called a monkey (and not a kangaroo). Monkey happens to be a racial insult, and kangaroo is not. Kangaroo, apart from being the national animal of Australia, is also an unofficial mascot of the aus team. Imagine someone putting an image of Andrew Symonds in a monkey head (I would be the first to remove that), and you know why that is racist. Also, once you remove the completely humourless text, putting the image there makes no sense. Apart from all this, you will do well to realize that the whole controversy died down in a few days, and has long been forgotten. There was a lot of bonhomie between the teams, and it is rather unfortunate that we rake up the issue here in such a tasteless and crass manner. Besides, there is so much to write funnily about India; this minor incident deserves no place here. Put in something FUNNY that everyone, not ust cricket watchers, would understand. And feel like laughing.--[[User:Sillierrabbit|Sillierrabbit]] 05:14, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 
 
mallus rock
 
 
 
Tag Line :(Tere maa ko sau kutte chode - sau wa tera baap! ) shld be changed its not funny at all...............
 
::How about Lundfakir [[User:Nikkullllllll|Gaylord Nikkul - King of the gaylords]] 08:44, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 
 
==Call center==
 
I think this whole page should be written as a tech support center conversation about India, (there could possibly be misspellings to represent an accent)
 
 
"Yes, hello sir, my name is mike, how may I help you learn about India today?"
 
 
===Economy===
 
"Yes, I can connect you to billing, one moment please..."
 
 
yes bangaladesis have large lund, which pakistan as a country couldn't see going on, so in 70's it ordered cutting of all bagla people's penises :-)
 
anyways some of their penises survived paki attack and the this article's originator's forfather's i am sorry but were not one of them. anyways, people in pakistan and bangaladesh share one common principle, they are all motherfuckers son of a common randi bitch and fathered by mohammad :-), anyways
 
 
keep writing u motherfucker bangladeshis :-)
 
 
== So many idiots ==
 
 
Have edited this talk-page! You can tell that they're morons if they can't SIGN THEIR POSTS!!!! --{{User:Scofield/sig}} 13:08, October 12, 2011 (UTC)
 
 
Hey I tried to edit this page and add some entries, I couldn't be bothered signing up so don't have a username but an IP address. I agree that not everything I wrote is a work of genius the stuff that had made it onto this page is just terrible. I think that my entries were politically incorrect and surprisingly makes me think that this site is moderated in such a way as to avoid actual controversy. Am I allowed to try again? Or is my IP address banned from the editing process? I read the suggested articles on spammers and how to be funny. I don't think this was the problem, I think the content may have been to heavy. I can try to lighten the load. But did you have to delete everything I entered, isn't there some room to allow others to make changes, add or detract and collaborate? --[[User:KL16|KL16]] ([[User talk:KL16|talk]]) 14:23, April 6, 2012 (UTC)KL16
 
:Actually it was me who undid your edits. Rather than being funny or witty you degenerated into stupid. Some of it was okay, but I wasn't going to sift through it to find it - especially when you added back stuff I had previously removed verbatim. Read [[HTBFANJS]] before you try again. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|01:23 06 Apr}}
 
:You were not moderated because of your political views. We DO NOT do that here. You were moderated because your edits were not that funny. Some of what you added was actually OK, but you wandered off into a bit of a long drizzly boring rant where you appeared to forget that you are meant to be entertaining the reader. We will allow you to say ''virtually'' anything you like in an article. ''IF'' it is funny enough. My advice... Create and account here and edit using that. ... Try editing again, but this time be more concise and remember that quality not quantity is important. Have fun. ... Puppy if someone has taken that much time to make an edit you should take the time to use "undo" and leave a comment explaining the reason for the revert rather than just hitting rollback so that way the user has some idea of why. If you feel that you don't have enough time to monitor and check the changes on RC then please don't. {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>13:28, Apr 6</small></small>
 
 
Ok well thanks for your feedback. I understand there was a lot of content but if some of it was ok I would appreciate that those parts could be left alone so that others would have something to work on in future. I did add the contents of my previous edits in various stages, obviously with various degrees of success, but I would appreciate not being completely wiped. It's almost impossible to come up with good satire on India because their humor is generally very insular and inaccessible to outside readers and it's easy to become too offensive. I want this to be a funny page over time and will keep trying. Would appreciate moderators who take the time to differentiate the crap from the funny bits. Cheers --[[User:KL16|KL16]] ([[User talk:KL16|talk]]) 13:50, April 6, 2012 (UTC)KL16
 
 
Oh and at the moment almost nothing about this page is even remotely funny or amusing so I don't know how any of the content is here at all except that based on the discussion there has been widespread disagreement on how to satirise India. Trust me it's a very satirisable place! Hope this can be improved upon good luck everyone! --[[User:KL16|KL16]] ([[User talk:KL16|talk]]) 13:49, April 6, 2012 (UTC)KL16
 
:My advice... Actually DO SERIOUSLY read [[HTBFANJS]]. THAT WILL HELP. Honest. ;) {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>13:53, Apr 6</small></small>
 
OK NP MrN, have done, will try again once I get some sleep to recuperate my sense of humour :S Happy Easter! --[[User:KL16|KL16]] ([[User talk:KL16|talk]]) 13:59, April 6, 2012 (UTC)KL16
 
::And as for the other aspect - MrN suggested that I undo as opposed to rollback. In retrospect he was correct and I over reacted. I've restored your previous edits and then removed them again, which means you can find them in the history of the page [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/India?diff=5471782&oldid=5471780 here]. Another little bit of advice - a good article starts from a good concept. Work out what you want to be your angle (or angles) for the articles and then build it up from there. A lot of what is in this article can be torn down and then you can rebuild from a position of less clutter. You could also create [[User:KL/India]] as a starting point and copy across the entire article and then build it up again. As for criticising Indians - [[Number bases|I'm not innocent at all]]. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|02:05 06 Apr}}
 
 
Thanks Puppy! I appreciate the feedback and don't profess to be much of a comedian. I do understand what you mean, just had to stand up for some of the underlying concepts. That article on number bases is pretty savvy btw. ;) --[[User:KL16|KL16]] ([[User talk:KL16|talk]]) 14:15, April 6, 2012 (UTC)KL16
 
:Like Puppy says, this article is tagged with a "fix" tag which means that we acknowledge that it sucks. Feel free to edit the whole thing and improve all of it, rather than just adding new sections. It really needs hacking with a hatchet! I hope you understand how to look in the page history to find your old edits. Just keep the good parts and remember less is more. Also... DO READ [[HTBFANJS]] or at least some of it! {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>14:23, Apr 6</small></small>
 
 
 
==Rewrite==
 
==Rewrite==
 
Well, the article has now been edited loads, and improved a lot. Not by me, but by them. Yes. They did it. However we still encourage lots of new edits to this article, but... If you do decide to edit it, please read the whole page first, and make sure that your changes fit in with the rest of the article. {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>17:43, Apr 13</small></small>
 
Well, the article has now been edited loads, and improved a lot. Not by me, but by them. Yes. They did it. However we still encourage lots of new edits to this article, but... If you do decide to edit it, please read the whole page first, and make sure that your changes fit in with the rest of the article. {{User:MrN9000/sig}} <small><small>17:43, Apr 13</small></small>
Line 12: Line 12:
 
== history section ==
 
== history section ==
 
i haven't read the whole of this featured article but i find the "history" section insipid (not funny) and written from an american indophile's perspective. while there is nothing wrong with that perspective, the writer (or several "edit" contributors) have been hunkered down by their limited knowledge of the subject and thus failed to make the content sound funny -- it is forced. anyone has objections? --[[User:Ack00|Ack00]] ([[User talk:Ack00|talk]]) 16:00, November 1, 2012 (UTC)
 
i haven't read the whole of this featured article but i find the "history" section insipid (not funny) and written from an american indophile's perspective. while there is nothing wrong with that perspective, the writer (or several "edit" contributors) have been hunkered down by their limited knowledge of the subject and thus failed to make the content sound funny -- it is forced. anyone has objections? --[[User:Ack00|Ack00]] ([[User talk:Ack00|talk]]) 16:00, November 1, 2012 (UTC)
  +
  +
== Map and corruption ==
  +
  +
India's main industry and sport is corruption,and why Kashmir is excluded from India's map.[[Special:Contributions/117.226.160.39|117.226.160.39]] 12:40, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
  +
  +
:New comments at the bottom, please. Regarding the first point: Yes, but the main industry and sport in all our countries is corruption! Regarding the second point: I am all ears: Why ''is'' Kashmir excluded from India's map? and be sure to state your answer in the form of a joke. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>12:54 5-Apr-13</small>
  +
  +
Sorry but please change the map,and I think more can be added in Indian history section,making it much funnier.[[Special:Contributions/117.227.84.78|117.227.84.78]] 15:42, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
  +
  +
Earlier page showing c program and OutSource Singh was funny, this one just boring {{Unsigned|192.195.66.4}}
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== Addition ==
  +
  +
Favorite pastime could be added in the infobox: rapes, producing kids etc. When will the article be unprotected?[[User:Coldbloodz|Coldbloodz]] ([[User talk:Coldbloodz|talk]]) 23:00, January 9, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:Both of these strike me as drive-by slaps rather than jokes based on something specific to India. The article has been protected since April 2012 against new and unregistered users. You will not always be new. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>23:10 9-Jan-14</small>
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::When will I become old?[[User:Coldbloodz|Coldbloodz]] ([[User talk:Coldbloodz|talk]]) 23:11, January 9, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::After you start growing hair in strange places and your voice gets deeper. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|12:20 am 10 Jan 2014}}
  +
But that's not the point. The point is that, after you become veteran enough to edit the article, you still should not dump in a rape joke (at least one that doesn't relate to anything, and an Infobox is a confining place in which to make it relate to anything). {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>03:55 10-Jan-14</small>

Latest revision as of 07:08, January 10, 2014

Talk prior to rewrite has been moved to Talk:India/Archive

edit Rewrite

Well, the article has now been edited loads, and improved a lot. Not by me, but by them. Yes. They did it. However we still encourage lots of new edits to this article, but... If you do decide to edit it, please read the whole page first, and make sure that your changes fit in with the rest of the article. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 17:43, Apr 13

edit 'India is a slow but deadly poison': Kedar Joshi

Guys, some interesting, funny stuff for possible addition! Take a look! The preceding unsigned comment was added by 121.246.35.188 (talk • contribs) 10:49, September 10, 2012

That's interesting. I understand you're new here, but you should always sign your posts on talk pages. —qzekrom.net16.net clicky! 20:04, September 10, 2012 (UTC)

edit history section

i haven't read the whole of this featured article but i find the "history" section insipid (not funny) and written from an american indophile's perspective. while there is nothing wrong with that perspective, the writer (or several "edit" contributors) have been hunkered down by their limited knowledge of the subject and thus failed to make the content sound funny -- it is forced. anyone has objections? --Ack00 (talk) 16:00, November 1, 2012 (UTC)

edit Map and corruption

India's main industry and sport is corruption,and why Kashmir is excluded from India's map.117.226.160.39 12:40, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

New comments at the bottom, please. Regarding the first point: Yes, but the main industry and sport in all our countries is corruption! Regarding the second point: I am all ears: Why is Kashmir excluded from India's map? and be sure to state your answer in the form of a joke. Spıke ¬ 12:54 5-Apr-13

Sorry but please change the map,and I think more can be added in Indian history section,making it much funnier.117.227.84.78 15:42, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Earlier page showing c program and OutSource Singh was funny, this one just boring The preceding unsigned comment was added by 192.195.66.4 (talk • contribs)

edit Addition

Favorite pastime could be added in the infobox: rapes, producing kids etc. When will the article be unprotected?Coldbloodz (talk) 23:00, January 9, 2014 (UTC)

Both of these strike me as drive-by slaps rather than jokes based on something specific to India. The article has been protected since April 2012 against new and unregistered users. You will not always be new. Spıke ¬ 23:10 9-Jan-14
When will I become old?Coldbloodz (talk) 23:11, January 9, 2014 (UTC)
After you start growing hair in strange places and your voice gets deeper.                               Puppy's talk page12:20 am 10 Jan 2014

But that's not the point. The point is that, after you become veteran enough to edit the article, you still should not dump in a rape joke (at least one that doesn't relate to anything, and an Infobox is a confining place in which to make it relate to anything). Spıke ¬ 03:55 10-Jan-14

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