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edit From Pee Review

I also wrote this relatively quickly. Check it out. --emc! 19:17, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

Needs work. Alpha males are dominant, not "predominant". New York and Sacramento are useless -- they don't add anything funny. Suggest East Wopping, Yellowknife, Pork City Kansas, Fried (in Greece), or the Independent Republic of Bath as funnier alternatives. Say, husbands aren't hominid-like, they are hominids. You might place them properly in the genus: more advanced than Pithecanthropus eructus ("Belching Man") but less sophisticated than Homo habilis ("Handy Man"). Aren't husbands commonly known as "Jar-Opening Man"? Why "run" unless you explain why there is a threat? ...maybe "placate the irritable husband with softcore pornography but if he becomes engorged then run." *shrugs* A good first draft, but much work remains. ----OEJ 00:51, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

This is okay at the moment, but I reckon more could be made of the idea of the bachelor being a larval form of a husband- you could do a life-cycle section or something, with the husband reaching full sexual maturity on the wedding night, and then rapidly falling into latency, impotency and then death... rather like a mayfly having a one-day lifespan (or something like that)--Jamtrousers 09:44, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

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