Talk:Hillary Clinton

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edit Additions to the Wiki

Please put something in here, instead of just a link loop. This stuff gets really annoying =( --Nytrospawn 12:34, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)

I added an appropriate inappropriate photo I found somewhere... Zena Dhark…·°º•ø®@» 22:35, 11 September 2006 (UTC)
Seriously people, try to make the article funny instead of just ranting like a moron about political people you hate (the democrap party! hahaha! you are so funny an orgnal lolz <3)
rational liberals hate hillary just as much as stupid hicks. Also, we should make a "Snuke Alert" template for this article
Someone keeps deleting Hillary being quoted as saying, 'CO-BRAAAAAAAAA!!!'. She really did say that. Whoever keeps deleting that can go to hell.--BeelzebubJackson 14:08, 26 April 2007 (UTC) - BeelzebubJackson

edit Rottweiler, Rottencrotch or Pumpkin-tits?

Oh, and who keeps changing it from Hillary 'pumpkintits' to Hillary 'rottweiler'? That's fucking stupid, and gayer than all three of Elton John's most recent world tours rolled into one. Cut that shit out.--BeelzebubJackson 14:08, 26 April 2007 (UTC)

What's funny about Pumpkintits? Nothing. Unless you're an eleven year old who just discovered women have tits and can't stop giggling at the teacher because she has them. At least Rottweiler makes a slant rhyme of her real middle name, "Roddam" and plays on her reputation for being a vicious politician. But I guess an eleven year old wouldn't understand that part. --Miss Anthropy 15:44, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Okay, fine, compromise - how about 'rottencrotch'? It has the benefit of being a play on words, clearly your intent - while remaining sophmoric and base, which, being fitting for such a beast as Hitlery, is my intent.--BeelzebubJackson 14:05, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
I don't know. It doesn't quite capture her anti-feminine mystique and still leans towards childish misogynistic humor. Please keep trying. --Miss Anthropy 02:42, 1 May 2007 (UTC)
That's the entire point. Actually voting for her would be childish and, while not necessarily misogynistic, misanthropic. And it did read 'pumpkintits' before you jacked it, regardless. I changed 'rottweiler' back to pumpkintits' because 'rottweiler' isn't funny. So, how about YOU keep trying.--BeelzebubJackson 06:03, 6 May 2007 (UTC)
I can keep changing it back, since you can't meet me halfway and refuse to have a discussion about it. Admit it, you who keep changing this - are you a mole from Hitlery's campaign? I wouldn't put it past her to assign someone to do nothing but watch this article. --BeelzebubJackson 13:26, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
Oh no, you found out about my army of anonymous IP's out to change Hillary's middle name. Or maybe Pumpkintits is flat out retarded. So retarded that even anonymous IP's feel compelled to change it. Wake up! --Miss Anthropy 03:05, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
Alright, truce. I added some stuff but did not delete a single thing that you've added. --BeelzebubJackson 03:44, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

edit Communist?

Uhh..Hilary Clinton is anything but a Communist. She's a right-wing fanatic. This is fucking absurd. [unsigned at 1:20, 16 October 2007 by]

Wha?? What the hell are you talking about? Okay, let's clarify things a bit. Right wing, to me, means Libertarianism, free markets, personal freedom, individualism, rule of law, etc.

Left wing is any form of Collectivism, such as Communism, Socialism, Fascism or Corporatism. Hillary is a hardcore socialist, who gets donations from Communist China. How does that make her right wing? BeelzebubJackson 01:09, 18 October 2007 (UTC)

Okay. She has an extremely right-wing voting record for a "left-wing" party on everything from the war in Iraq to the death penalty.

You need to re-evaluate your idea of what "Socialism" is. Libertarianism isn't synonymous with right-wing. We could get philosophical if that's what it means "to you"..but I see where you're coming from. Yet, Hilary "flip-flops" too much to be considered a hardcore Communist, for one thing. Then there's the issue of free markets, which pose their own problem regarding personal freedoms, but make no mistake, she's no left-winger.

I don't particularly consider campaigning alongside Jack Thompson against GTA: Vice City as a "threat to morality", not voting against the war, supporting the death penalty, voted FOR the PATRIOT Act, supporting making flag-burning illegal..being "pro-life" goes on and on, all traditional Conservative, not Liberal positions. Left-wing is not fascism by the way. Fascism may impose certain economic controls but it also imposes extreme social conservatism. There are right-wing fascists out there, in fact it is they who tend to seek abolition of civil liberties in the name of "security" as a fear campaign. Hitler, for example, supported the curbing of civil liberties to promote an extremely Conservative international policy and the rooting out of an ethnic group.

By the way, Corporatism is a right-wing policy. Support for the war in Iraq with no mention of the problem of Blackwater and other "private military contractors" also hardly constitutes a left-wing stance. If these militia were somehow to be nationalized, that's a different story, but their sovereign entities out for their own gain alone. As a Social Democrat, I recognize that modern American Capitalism and what's known as "State Capitalism" each have their problems, but that right-wing capitalism is by far the greater current issue. at least with economic reform combined with maintenance of democracy on issues of social freedom, a government heavily influenced by the people may keep the balance by allowing certain basic freedoms but keeping corporate tyranny in check.

As for the China rhetoric, she welcomed a 108.3% duty on imports from Chinese candlemakers. This is a double-edged sword..if she accepted free-trade with a country like China, Republicans would be all over her for it, but since she's supported economic initiatives relative isolationism from a state with such policies as China's. Protectionism is arguably a left-wing policy, but it has been used to a certain extent in a different form to prevent trade with certain nations found to neglect the essential civil liberties, so such a seemingly restrictive policy on trade actually works for a "greater good", as any American who supports sanctions on countries "harboring terrorists" would tell you. Therefore it is economically left-leaning at face value, but can be used with globalist Conservative intentions on the international level. The above was all important in it's own way, but there are other more important things to remember before it can mean much at all. You lost me right from the moment you tried to draw similarities between Communism and Corporatism, which are inherently opposites. I've had my two cents, though, and I see little point in debating serious politics on the talk page of a satirical let me just close by saying I thought I'd introduce another opinion with those "two cents", if only to bring up the possibility of incorporating a humorous take on criticisms from a more Liberal POV into the article, for those of us who see little humor in repeated chants of the word "Communist" at anyone who, whether they agree with the neocon propaganda machine on most other things of value or not, are branded Communist because of a supposed opposition to free-market Capitalism (but as we know, Hilary often says one thing with words and the opposite with her actions, and considering the lack of comments on corrupt militia in Iraq for fear of succumbing to the mindless label of "traitor" directed at anyone anti-Bush by his more radical supporters (see: Bill O'Reilly and/or Sean Hannity), it's hard to seriously consider her a Communist, for at least the true political radicals stick to their words, however far from the mainstream they may stray. In any case, I'm sorry if I was a bit too personally confrontational about this when you asked "What the hell are you talking about?", but I could easily ask the same of you..though both of us know what we're talking about here. 01:34, 5 December 2007 (UTC)

edit Rewrite

If someone does rewrite it, keep the corporate connections, they are well cited, factual, as well as funny. I've provided many reference links to back them up. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 21:43, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

the clintons, bill and hillary: one of them's a woman, and the other one's hillary The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Gee not at all what the Liberal Media says. I thought Bill Clinton was a poor black boy who grew up in the south, then he invented the Opti-Grab technology to keep glasses from slipping off peoples' noses which made him rich. He then married his girlfriend and lived in a mansion. But then he got sued, because the Opti-Grab glasses caused people to get crosseyed and people wanted their money back. So then he was homeless, until his black family that adopted him picked him up in a station wagon and had kept their share of the money he sent them so they all weren't as poor as they once were. No, wait, that was Steve Martin from "The Jerk". Sorry I kind of get my Jerks messed up from time to time, I even once confused Forrest Gump for George W. Bush. Nope the Liberal Media says Bill Clinton is black, was born poor, learned to play the saxophone, got into Harvard and Yale with minority scholarships from the NAACP and met Hillary Rodham Clinton there and got married, and she helped him get elected to President of the United States and now he is helping her get elected. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 02:56, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

edit An Issue?

I've read the article, and it has potential, but I still think it needs more work. Honestly, I think it could be funnier. There are parts that are just dumb. If nobody decides to do anything about this, I at least think we need some more templates, because the ones we've got now do not properly catagorise this article. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Agreed. I've tried to make this article funnier, and even cited sources on the Internet to add more truth to it. The dumb stuff is due to people arguing over what to put into the article, and it is mostly random humor that makes no sense at all. Sometimes more templates just ugly up the article and get removed later anyway. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 05:24, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

edit The lead

The first paragraph "americans want a woman who will take no shit". The second paragraph "grown man have been known to piss their pants at the mere mention of her name". Third "geriatric superpower" came from nowhere. Fourth 'Born Hitler, sex change, tiny penis, huge penis, bisexual'. Personally I found the whole thing unconnected, and the fourth paragraph not funny and just stupid.

How could this become funny? Uncyclopedian hillary is: a pop star (running for american idol?). - I don't know, this is my first post on uncyclopedia.--Dwarf Kirlston 14:51, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

edit photos The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Thanks I think we can use some of those in the article. It is a real gold mine. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:17, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
I thought about using this one as well but it might upset Hillary Rodham Clinton supporters to compare her to the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:42, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

edit Unused images

edit Removal of factual evidence

Sometimes the truth can be funny. Hillary has a lot of corporate ties and Bill and Hillary earned $109 Million dollars since 2000 in corporate money. The Clintons earn $41,500 a day on average. Most of it from the middle-east and the rest from corporations. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 11:58, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Yes the truth can be funny, but you have to say it in a funny way. The end of this article used to read like a political lecture on whats wrong with Clinton. The youtube video at the end was also deadly serious, what was the point of it?

The glenn Beck page was good because it took real quotes and then responded to them in a ridculous way, treating utter nonsense like it was really clever. This article only ever got half of that right. It stated what Clinton did, backed it up with statistics and a movie and then......where is the joke? It was like reading a Mallard Fillmore comic! Listing why you dont like CLinton, even if you fully support it with evidence etc, is not funny! Its just true. Have you read your last post Orion? You say the truth can be funny but then proceed to list lots of unfunny numbers and statistics! I dont care if the Clinton's earn a Gazillion and two dollars a minute from Walmart, just listing numbers is not funny. If you can think of a way to describe Clintons Corporate earnings in a way that is funny then by all means add it back in. Unfortunatley, Clinton seems to be hated by lots of people but never in way that is humourous when you say it out loud.Warmonkey 14:57, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Actually it is funny because the Clintons claim to be like everyone else the working people that are poor, but somehow they earn as much in one day that a middle-class person earns in a year. They claim that nobody influences their politics but take big money from the middle-east and Wal-mart, etc. That in itself is funny. Should I use a real Clinton quote like you use Glenn Beck quotes I could have Hillary talk about how she had sniper fire in Bosnia and have a youtube clip of her visit show that there were no snipers. I am trying to cover both sides of the political compass here. If you read HTBFANJS you'll see that true statements can be funny and if you have to make something up to be funny you have to be consistent. In what way can I say those things to be funny? If you have a better idea on how to write those things as funny, go ahead, Uncyclopedia is a community effort. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:54, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
On second thought I think I forgot you don't live in the USA or haven't followed US politics for the past 20 years like many others here. Some jokes that are obvious here and need no explanation, you might not get. I thought that everyone knew that the Clintons claim to have come from poor people and still claim to be working class people, and in fact some claim that Bill Clinton was the first black US President and paint Bill Clinton as a poor black man and Hillary Clinton as a poor black woman. In the past I presented true facts and explained why they were funny in an article, only to have the article deleted because I had to explain the joke. That the Clintons earn more money than even the Bushes earn, yet the Clintons say they are in touch with the working class and know what a struggle is all about, but clearly based on their tax returns they aren't struggling at all. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:19, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

You miss understand my point. I am not saying there is no comedy in Clinton's corporate earnings, just that I have yet to read it written in a funny way. Jsut saying "Hillary claims to be in touch with working class people but earns a lot of money from corporations" is jsut fatual, not that funny. I understand the point its making, but it needs a cleverer wording. YOu need to take true quotes and facts and THEN put a funny or exaggerating spin on them. There may be something funny to be mined from it, but it needs to be worded in a cleverer way, not just stated straight. ALso we need to be careful not to drift into attacking Bill Clinton here. There is a Bill Clinton page where we can do that (and a lot of fun it is too!). Comments on Bill being the first black president would fit better on that page. Hillary stuff needs to be Hillary specific. I want to write a lot more on the whole "Sniper" incident, as that cracked me up. Possibly comparing her trip to Bosnia to the film commando..... 11:40, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Well I see your point now. How about we say that Hillary is anti-corporate and communist, which goes with some of the communism pictures, and uses her income to steal money from capitalist pigs like Wal-Mart and sheiks in the middle-east from Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Dubai, etc to fund her campaign for President and earns steals $41,500 per day or $109 million since 2000 from the capitalist pigs with her husband, or we can avoid mentioning Bill and just half that amount to $20750 a day, and $54.5 million since 2000. When you talk about snipers, be sure to mention that they were invisible snipers using silencers so that the youtube video didn't even show them, and that Sinbad didn't have mutant enhanced hearing and vision like Hillary has so he couldn't see them or hear them. That should tie into the X-Men reference from the other part of the article. Yeah I agree put in Bill Clinton as the first black US President in the Bill Clinton article. Include the youtube video in which Obama gets asked that question. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:39, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Orion, you always come through for me. Excellent ideas! I will start adding some of thsoe in as soon as possible. The heroic task of pocketing liberating corperate money must continue! I will make sure I wear my bullet proof vest while I type in order to ward off invisible snipers and small children that may want to stop me from documenting Hillary's heroic mission. Warmonkey 11:36, 8 April 2008 (UTC) Sniper story is now longer, gets its own section, features super powers and Sinbad. Also there is now a section I think you will like Orion about Hillary being a complete hypocrit regarding raking in so an obscene amount of money.Warmonkey 18:21, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks, I am sure the Obama fans like it too. :) Everyone knows that politics are for the wealthy anyway and only the rich can afford to run for office when individual campaign contributions are limited to $6000 per person. Hillary earns a lot of money, and then donates to her own Clinton Foundation which gives money to other political organizations and campaigns so Hillary can get more support. Basically she is buying her way to the Presidency. Sort of like Bill Gates giving most of his money to the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation which gives away Windows PC to schools and libraries so Microsoft can continue to be a Monopoly. Yeah it is great to see such people being hypocrites when they rake in more money than real Conservatives actually do, and then accuse the Conservatives of being Greedy for making so much money. That Clinton library better be built by now, it had over eight years to build it, but most of the money the Clinton foundation got to build it went to other political organizations like and Hillary's campaign funds and campaign funds of people supporting Hillary. We got the best government that money can buy, I tell you, and it isn't only the Conservatives doing that. :) --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 21:45, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

edit Is Geena Davis sexy?

Just a minor question. Why is it stupid to say Geena Davis is sexy? Especially when calling Sheen a stud is okay? Isn't that a bit sexist, to say it is okay to comment that men are hot but not women? Are you just a huge Sheen fan Haldo? (I dont blame you, President Bartlet is a rugged hunk).Warmonkey 18:12, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

In the interest of equal rights for men and women, I think it is okay to say that either a man or woman is sexy. I don't discriminate in this day and age. But try to say it in a funny way, or else you'll end up like me writing factual stuff and appear to be as funny as Ben Stein talking about the Economy in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" or something. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 21:49, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

I dont really mind, I'm just messing, it probably is snappier this way. I just thought that was an amusing observation.Warmonkey 23:31, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Before I finished reading the first paragraph, I thought someone had called Hillary sexy, which would be wrong in 9 or 10 ways... (And FYI, I don't see what's so great about Geena. Not even that pretty.) L Sprite Haldo PanPan (talk at me) L Sprite

edit No More Quotes

Please dont add any more irrelevant quotes (especially not pop culture referance quotes) onto this page! A few quotes is funny (the three the page has now is plenty!) but having generic opinion on Hillary from every character of the last 30 years is repetitive. So far Gi Joe, Rupert Giles, austin powers and viturally everyone else have all had unfunny opinions on Hillary. Taking a catch phrase and adding in the word Hillary or "ANd I ahte Hillary too" is not funny and never will be. Dont add any more!

Ouch! Okay, so the Rupert Giles quote wasn't that funny. Although, I thought it might even garner a chuckle from Whedon fans, plus it plays on the Hillary = demon aspect. At least it wasn't a catchphrasy one. Oh, well. Them's the rules. BackwardsIsForwards 16:16, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
Oh, and, what's up with the Quotes section on the bottom half of the page. You know, the one with the atrocious spelling? Is that supposed to be there? BackwardsIsForwards 16:30, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
Oops. At second glance, that section doesn't have "atrocious" spelling, just punctuation slips. My mind gets a little jumpy to conclusions sometimes. All that nonsense aside, the section just seems redundant and not funny. I'll let you decide whether it stays or goes, though. I'm just bringing it to your attention. That's me. I'm the attention bringer. BackwardsIsForwards 16:41, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Basically a list of quotes is just that, a list. And lists are rarely very funny. Especially because people just keep adding to them in a casual way till you have a quote from everyone whose ever wandered into popular culture. But here is a compromise because everyone loves an attention bringer.... Why no just make a seperate page of Hillary CLinton related quotes? Then if people really like them they can go look at them without cluttering up the actual page. Warmonkey 16:47, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

We could make a Hillary Clinton Unquotable page like the ones made for Oscar Wilde and Albert Einstein. The Austin Powers quote 'That's not a woman, it's a man, baby" was a reference to the picture of Hillary in a beard and lumberjack clothing, it sort of blended in with that picture in that she looks like a man. Also it ties in with that hermaphrodite reference of being both genders and easily being confused for a man or woman. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Okay, I want to clarify, I am not an insane Quote Nazi, I jsut think that the quote from bill is really funny and appropriate (giving suggestions of her infamous marital problems and suggesting she is very unattractive etc) and more quotes that are only slightly funny or not funny at all just detract. Every additional quote jsut makes the whole thing less funny as the article takes longer and longer to get going. It also creates a list onto which everyone starts adding their own quotes, many of which have little or no relevance. I really think that less is more with this.Warmonkey 17:20, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

edit Ending the article

The article has had its ending removed. Does anyone like the previous ending? Or is is genuinely crap, in which case can anyone write a better one? Right now it jsut stops dead without any sort of summing up. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Warmonkey (talk • contribs)

Kind of hard to end the article when the nominations for Democratic candidate for President are still going on. Most people just add in quotes, but they keep getting removed. The quotes used to end the original article, but now it has no ending. But how can we write a funny ending? Do we have Hillary get nominated, or does she lose the nomination? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:06, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

This would obviously get changed once we know the result but what about something like after the final section says she is a dead cert to win it says-"What? Shes behind in the polls right now? Really? I thought she was...oh shes losing now? You're sure? Ah crap!" It is not hillarious but I think it wraps things up better, which is really what I am looking for. Warmonkey 17:20, 16 April 2008 (UTC) Wait, I just had a better idea, see what you think...Warmonkey 17:26, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

I jsut dont like ending on a quote section. Especially when the quotes are generic and not that funny. The one about eating kids is really predictible and sign posts the joke a millions miles away. It is a weak version fo the old "I love kids but couldn't eat a whole one". Also it will gradually turn into a giant unfunny list at the end of the article as lazy people add to it. The article should have a snappy ending, some kind of really harsh, biting criticism of her, or a stupid thing she really said that sums up her hypocracy. Orion blastar, she seems to piss you off pretty well, how would you sum up your feelings on her?Warmonkey 11:18, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Actually Hillary doesn't piss me off, and I even might consider voting for her if she makes the right decisions on issues she hasn't answered yet. I just happen to like Barrack Obama better because he doesn't have a shady history like Hillary does nor a history of lying (like Bosnia). But if Hillary gets the nomination and wins, it would be either Hillary Clinton or John McCain. Better the lesser of two evils and the devil you know instead of the devil you don't know. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:02, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

I did a new ending that I think everyone will like. It sums up why Hillary sucks ass basically. Warmonkey 11:29, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

edit Warmonkey's Deletion

Some of the content deleted by Warmonkey was actually funny, If anyone feels the same, change it back --Tralala123

What I deleted was just random. Mostly it could have equally applied to anyone. You could have replaced Hillary with "woman we dont like" and let people add their own names in. 99% of it would have made as much sense. Also I deleted a lot of REALLY generic lists and a big section that was factual but contained no jokes. Finally, there is something to be said for not just letting the article waffle on forever. Shes a vampire, shes a zombie, shes an x man, shes in dragon ball Z, shes a bitch and I dont like her! It was not exactly biting satire.

I've put some new versions of some of the factual stuff back in, but in a (hopefully) more humourous form. Warmonkey 18:21, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

I just think that Warmonkey doesn't have the same sense of humor that I or Tralala123 etc have. Maybe it is UK humour verses USA humor? :) Anyway somehow Warmonkey seems to think that I make fun of people who piss me off. That isn't really true. If it was I'd write jokes about Osama bin Laden instead of Hillary Clinton. I just like joking about people who are hypocrites and who pretend to be something they are not. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:06, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Oh no Orion, you miss understand me. I think your insights on how to better mock Hillary are excellent. I was appealing to you to come up with ideas to end the article because you have been the msot successful in mocking her out of everyone posting here about her. It was because I DO get your humour and I think its great that I was appealing for your insight. The section on her taking campaign funds is basically just me saying your joke in my own words. I'm sorry if my post came accross as some sort of dig at you, when it was intended as an appeal for your help. When I said she seems to piss you off, I was (clumsily) trying to communicate that you are much better at expressing whats wrong wtih her in a funny way then most folk around here (actually making pointed criticism rather then saying shes a lesbian etc). Hope that clears things up. Again, sorry for any offense caused. Warmonkey 08:25, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Sorry I have been busy lately. I've been out of work since 2002 and working with my brother to try a startup business in healthier food and beverages. I just came back here to check messages. Anyway I guess I misunderstood you, no problem sorry about that. I've been here since 2005 making fun of both liberal and conservative politicians. I watch news shows and read up on the latest trends. That is how I get my ideas. Sometimes just by watching Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly I get good ideas about Hillary Clinton or other liberals. Yeah I agree calling her ugly or a lesbian isn't really funny, but showing her flaws and hypocrisies are funny. Glad I could be of service. Maybe we can work in that PR that Hillary did with drinking a whiskey shot and beer in a pub, and say that anyone married to Bill Clinton who cheats on you with a chubby intern would drink boilermakers too. :) Or we can say with Bill Clinton misspeaking and causing Hillary more politcal harm than good, set started to drink boilermakers to cope. Bill Clinton is becoming a liability for Hillary, he tried to explain that Bosnia sniper thing but ended up making it worse. Maybe a "Bill you know I love you, but would you just shut up until I'm elected to office? Go play with those interns and let me run my campaign the way I want to." quote or something. Or you could say that since she made her statement that her father taught her to shoot guns and she shot her first duck when she was 6, that she is a modern day Annie Oakley with full NRA support, while Barrack Obama says that Americans are bitter and cling to their religion and guns and he wants to grab those guns away from them. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 02:22, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

edit The article is looking much better

I think this article has really improved lately. It is not the random gibberish and unrelated list of insults it once was. I has certainly convinced me to vote for Hillary! Unfortunatley I am not a registered democrat.....or a registered American. 11:51, 20 April 2008 (UTC)

Don't let that stop you, in California even illegal immigrants can vote, all they need is a fake ID. Heck some states have dead people and dead pets voting as well. When Diebold runs voting machines, anything can happen! --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 02:25, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

edit Three words to avoid when describing Hillary if you want to be funny

Starting with the least lame to the lamest-

  • Lesbian (a bit funny but easily over used)
  • Bitch (yeah, real imaginative insult. You really put some research into your post, didn't you?)
  • Cunt (Oooh! You dropped the C bomb! Impressive! That makes your unfunny post seem so sharp and edgy!)

Please try to base your posts on something funny, not just these three predictable insults. If you find that in your post you can just replace the word Hillary with "random woman I dont like" and it is still just as funny/unfunny then you are probably doing something wrong. Now dont misunderstand me, I think Hillary is crappy, sleazy and dishonest. I am not saying dont call her those three names because I want to defend her. In fact it is the exact opposite. I want to see this page tear her hypocracy and dishonesty apart, rather then just roll out tired name calling that could equally apply to anyone. Those insults just sound like bitter people bitching (how ironic) rather then truely wounding Hillary with words. Unless I am wrong, and just saying "Hillary is a cunt and a lesbian and a bitch!" hundreds of times is hillarious and I just have a really odd sense of humour. In which case, go nuts. Warmonkey 13:38, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

"Lesbian" should never be used as an insult, anyway. Seriously. L Sprite Haldo PanPan (talk at me) L Sprite
I agree with the above, that the words lesbian, bitch, and cunt shouldn't be used in this article. Anyone want to be funny use the words Communist, Socialism, Liberal Fascism, CommuNazi, which seem to be a common theme in this article. Even if there is a Big Difference between Hillary's social programs and communism, it is funny to exaggerate social programs into communism. Plus it is an in joke that Hillary's management style is like a CommuNazi, or I suppose you could be funny like Glenn Beck and use Liberal Fascism, which basically means the same thing. I think Liberal Fascism is less offensive, because it seems to be a contradiction in terms and not as bad as Communist or Nazi or CommuNazi. Instead of calling Hillary a bitch or cunt, talk about her super powers and how tough she is and how much more powerful she is than any man. There is already a link to the X-Men so go with that. Say she is a mutant, maybe a female version of Wolverine. Just my two cents. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:12, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

edit IT'S OVER

I love it! That heading is hilarious! Dont anyone delete it(at least not for a while). Warmonkey 17:07, 7 May 2008 (UTC) LOL! Keep it! If anyone removes that from there, I will find your IP address, and anally rape you in your sleep --Paco 05:21, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

edit Why. Even. Bother.

Okay, now that she's pathectically admitted her falure, nobody cares about her. Just sayin'. L Sprite Haldo PanPan (talk at me) L Sprite 15:48, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

We can still have an article on her. She's still a senator. If you feel this article doesn't need to exist, please take your political statements to VFD. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 16:47 Jun 5
Yes she still is a senator, we didn't stop making fun of Bill Clinton just because he isn't President anymore, and we didn't stop making fun of Bob Dole after his miserable failures to run as a Presidential candidate. Heck Ron Paul still has an article on him, even if John McCain won the Republican nomination and not Ron Paul. I mean using that logic, we should just remove the George Dubya Bush article after January 21, 2009 when the next President takes office and Bush becomes an ex-president and a failure. Only thing left is to make fun of Hillary for losing the Democratic primaries, and then have her beg Barack Obama to make her the Vice President pick even if she did try to rip him to shreds on the debates, and ran a lot of smear campaigns against him, etc. Then if Obama chooses her as his VP we write that he took pity on her, and if he doesn't pick her as a VP, we make fun of the fact that she lost and is only a senator now instead of President or Vice President. Then we have her plan for a run in 2012 or 2016. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

edit Official image

I think the official image of Hillary Clinton can easily be funny, with accompanying text.


Look at her eyes, and how her face is perfectly aligned with the camera, it is really freaky! When I first saw this picture, I jumped! And if just text doesn't make it funny enough, you could always ... fix it up a bit. 22:36, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

I still think drunk Hillary (current image ;) is better :) -- Limulus 11:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

edit Quick Thing

I'm not sure if you guys know, but all of the Youtube videos say "We're sorry, this video is no longer available." All of them. I'm not sure if anyone cares, but just in case... 14:52, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

They seem to be working for me right now; try them again? -- Limulus 16:30, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

The Russians rigged the election so Trump won!

Surely hosted on Hillary's personal server in the basement and made harder to read by the sandpaper scratches on the hard disk. Spıke Ѧ 19:06 9-May-15
Youtube videos are gone because Hillary had Bleachbit run on them. Anyone that has evidence or testify against Hillary are already dead by a mysteriously suicidal death, like five bullets to the back of the head. Hillary lost the election because of those Aliens er ah Russian Hackers! Yeah that's it, that's the ticket! Orion Blastar (talk) 02:20, November 30, 2016 (UTC)
I think we will never have proof to the contrary! Spıke Radiomicrophone02:27 30-Nov-16
Anyone that has proof to the contrary are dead now by mysterious accidents, etc. Will Obama pardon her before Trump takes office? Orion Blastar (talk) 03:17, November 30, 2016 (UTC)
Only if she puts on blackface. Anything I can do to help you translate this treacherous mood into a funny new article? Spıke Radiomicrophone03:54 30-Nov-16
I don't know, I can come up with ideas, but writing them into a joke is very hard. A lot of my old articles got deleted because they weren't written very well. Orion Blastar (talk) 05:06, November 30, 2016 (UTC)
Not by me, I hope. Perhaps. I can now bring them back, you know. Spıke Radiomicrophone05:12 30-Nov-16
I don't know who, but I admit they were not my best works. I've been trying to get better over the years and heal up from my illnesses that keep putting me back into a hospital every now and then. Ah well maybe I can write that stuff into the Clinton article and see if it makes people laugh. Orion Blastar (talk) 06:18, November 30, 2016 (UTC)
Ok I put the stuff into this article Hillary Clinton's Scandals so it is like a hidden page with classified information on it made from her deleted emails. I should have used TNA's Broken Matt Hardy talking about "delete delete delete" or something but not everyone would get that joke. Orion Blastar (talk) 07:00, November 30, 2016 (UTC)
I renamed your new article (and amended your post to point to it). Spıke Radiomicrophone17:19 30-Nov-16

edit 2016 Presidential run

Now that Hillary is running again, we should add that fact and add more detail to the article. Some jokes about the Clinton Foundation taking money in return for favors when she was secretary of state, Benghazi, and other stuff. Orion Blastar (talk) 18:55, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

Agreed; anyone check User:Spike/UnNews#Contributions or Category:Hillary Rodham Clinton for material. It will be the easiest article you have ever written, if it doesn't write itself! Spıke Radiomicrophone19:06 9-May-15

edit Needs More Monica Lewinsky

If the page has already ridiculed everything else about her that's questionably funny or important, why not her status as a cuckquean? Sure, Bill's brilliant quote about having sex with plenty of women except her is mentioned, but it would add quite a bit if the article mentioned the scandal more. Or her hatred of the dress and how it's included in his presidential portrait (subtly; look it up). Even if content is pulled from her husband's or Lewinsky's articles, it would really help completely mock her as a person and make the article quite a bit funnier.-- 01:13, November 2, 2015 (UTC)

The article has already been voted to our main page and is essentially done, barring future news. No Uncyclopedia article should try to be a complete catalog of the facts (that gets tedious), just a funny read. Having read the article, check the links I cited to the previous poster, and think about picking a user name and creating a Hillary page focusing on the issue of interest to you, as I created Barack Obama's birth. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:21 2-Nov-15
Hillary Clinton outsourced her husband's sex acts to an Intern while he was President as they outsourced a lot of jobs to China. I would go with that angle. Orion Blastar (talk) 01:55, November 2, 2015 (UTC)
Our article on Monica Lewinsky is tiny and crude. It could be brought closer to reality if it got a funny take on reality. Go wild. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:22 2-Nov-15

edit Never had sex with "that woman"

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
~ Bill Clinton on Hillary, as it were

In the final days of the Donald Trump campaign, former New Hampshire Governor John H. Sununu warms up a Trump card by wondering aloud whom Bill Clinton meant by "I never had sex with that woman." Caught hell. Did not credit Uncyclopedia. Spıke Radiomicrophone19:47 4-Nov-16

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