Talk:Great Mormon-Catholic War
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edit From Pee Review
|Humour:||8||This is really light-hearted and fun.|
|Concept:||7||A reasonable concept, though not intrinsically great (we have many fake war articles, of which this is IMHO the best.)|
|Prose and formatting:||7||The prose is colloquial without being stupid. That's nice.|
|Images:||7||Images are appropriate, though not the greatest.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||I like this piece. I did not expect to, but I did.|
|Reviewer:||----OEJ 23:16, 8 August 2007 (UTC)|
This is quite nicely done. Normally I would say NO CHUCK NORRIS! but he's used well in this bit, a kind of tongue-in-cheek nod to a known and universally loathed meme. In fact, there are a lot of memes in the article but mostly they seem more like mockery of themselves than the usual cliché meme usage.
I did not expect to like this because, as I noted, we already have a number of fictional war articles and mostly they are pretty awful. But this article does not take itself seriously, it's spoofy and fun.
I suppose what you want to watch out for is slipping into incoherence. The piece bounces around a lot, from Yuma through Tonga to a metafictional reference to Uncyclopedia and into the 21st century via Tom Cruise and Scientology. It's easy to confuse the heck out of readers, so in rewrites be careful that the scene jumps are clear.
Hopefully you can get or solicit some catchier pictures. The random monkeys might not need to be the same image each time -- they are random, after all. It would be neat if the bomber was dropping books and not conventional bombs. A full-sized Conestoga wagon with a cannon photoshopped on would be nice. But (with the exception of the monkeys) these are not images one comes across every day.
Good luck. I enjoyed reading the piece. ----OEJ 23:16, 8 August 2007 (UTC)