From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Frog as a French Person - some French people are commonly referred to as Frogs. This stems from several very good reasons. One is that beneath their creamy pale complexion, French people are actually slick-skinned, cold-blooded and often green, although they can be delivered in a variety of tints. Two is: anyone who has ventured inside the sock or espadrille of a French person will have plainly seen that web feet reside within. That said, if you have returned alive from a foray within the sock or espadrille of a French person, you may have a career in stunts all cut out for you. French Showers, not to be confused with Frog Showers, involve spraying perfume on an unwashed region of the body, most commonly the armpits or crotch. However, a French Shower can also be found within said sock or espadrille. But enough about feet, let's return to the accent. You may or may not have noticed the French accent and how it bears an uncanny resemblance to the frog's croak. This is yet another, perhaps farfetched but still valid, reason why Frog is a name for French.
Frog as a Swear Word - some toddlers, usually between the ages of 18 and 24 months, have a problem wrapping their tiny tongues around the pronunciation of the word FROG. And so, their solution to this problem is to say FUCK. Don't deny it, we've all been there. We've all said fuck when we meant frog. Most of you who are not parents of a child fitting that description may not recall having trodden this road when your feet were smaller than my hand, but take my word for it: if you grew up in an anglophone setting, you said fuck instead of frog. The response some of us parents have chosen is to use the word FROG instead of fuck. This involves wearing frog me shoes, getting frogged up, frogging up every once in a while, and not getting involved with frogging fucks. That's all for now, but i have more to say on this and other subjects, so keep your frogging pants on.
"Frog" was, indeed, a highly offensive epithet for a French person, in less enlightened times. As such, this page should have a disambiguation link:
Would anyone mind if I totally rewrote this from scratch? I was just going to do it but then I noticed some recent reverts by serious Uncyclopedians and thought someone might care. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 12:17, December 11, 2009 (UTC)