Talk:Fred Phelps

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

This is the only libellous and offensive article here that violates UN:HTBFANJS and is still funny.--Chlimitzouras 20:46, 18 May 2007 (UTC)

'Taint libel if it makes him sound better than he was! Wnt 17:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Damn

Who ever wrote this article needs a job. You have way too much time on your hands. Don't get me wrong, Fred is an idiot and I wish the lover of one of those dead soldiers would beat the shit out of him next time he's protesting a funeral. But still, damn people. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

edit New take?

Fred Phelps is an eccentric nutjob who founded an entire religion based on the bizarre "revelation" that the Creator of the universe has a grudge against some of his creations, namely dense collections of dismembered tree limbs and cigarettes. He fashions himself as the "head" of a building, and he claims that he has over seventy penises.

... Phelps originated as a uterine tumor in the body of an unnamed human female. Fortunately, when the tumor became unbearably large, it was ejected through a prepared hole. Unfortunately, it readily adapted to self-sustainment, and, without the heart to kill, the female was forced to house it for several long years...

... For some odd reason, this otherwise unimportant tumor was the subject of much controversy. Some, including Fred's body's penises, claim that the tumor bore the name Fred Phelps before it left the human body, while others say that it was only after it left the body that it was named...

... Fred Phelps, like many nutjobs, began his career as a liar. He protected the rights of people who didn't matter at the time, and was chased down and beaten with hard objects by competitors who also wanted to protect those rights...The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Not too bad a start, but still too short to read like a parody encyclopedia article, plus would still need pictures. Also, avoid redlinks. Maybe emphasize his brainwashing techniques on his followers who picket wherever and whatever he tells them to, no matter how stupid. True example: his church wrote the song Santa Claus will take you to hell, which would be laughable if they didn't actually mean it.(Next theoretical picketing targets: Mars and Venus because they are too sexy? Or maybe the Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy as more idols? Oh, and of course American Idol tv show. Maybe the picketers could even swim to the next Survivor island to picket use of the Survivor idol/totem.) Too bad he didn't target Osama bin Laden (God hates terrorists...) or I'd actually have to agree with him for a change. Certainly with the idea that the guy seems to know for certain about everything that God hates or doesn't hate, maybe he could run for Pope (or claim some other ridiculous divinely ordained high title). Since you edited this talk page as an IP, you might want to sign up for a username so that you can edit all you like under a userpage. (User:username/userpage)-- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 02:57, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

edit Cruft?

This article was tagged for rewrite in November 2008. Reviewing the history for questions to discuss: To quote or not to quote? The quotes change fairly constantly. To include a trivia section or screenplay section or not? Should all lists be deleted? How explicitly gross should this article be allowed to get (lol dongs)? Do Barney or Hitler really want anything to do with this guy? Is incest humor appropriate here? Not to mention this article tends to get vandalized regularly. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 04:32, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Forget what I did up there. How about rewrite the whole article with 100% serious facts? The real quotes have got to be funnier than those "lolburn" fake ones. -- 14:36, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
Which isn't to say that I think the fake quotes are all lame, but the joke could be that this isn't joking, and from what I know of him, lol. -- 14:42, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
Nah, leave the "facts" to Wikipedia or Conservapedia. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 18:58, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
The problem with the facts are, they just don't fit anywhere, because nobody ever just says what he was. The guy was the sleazy bottom of the lawyer industry, disbarred, making money by making pretend protests that were so offensive someone would slug him... then he sued for damages pro se. Dime bags to donuts he was a purer atheist than anybody on this site, and that is the God-honest truth. Wnt 17:41, March 18, 2010 (UTC)


I have censored a picture on this article, due to nudity which is not appropriate for teens visiting (Yes, even pre-teens and children) STOP STRIKING!!!!

edit Video explosion

I removed all the videos from the Things Fred Phelps hates section. They were either removed from YouTube, or they were really not funny. Besides, this random spewing of sequences of YouTube videos leads to very poor layout. --Concernedresident 18:10, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Death

Fred Phelps died in March 2014. I think this article should at least mention that. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Personal tools