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I read it. And as you suspected - It's more like a psalm than a hilarious joke. And a bit to close to truth to make the needle sting tickle your toes.
Maybe a salvation page is needed on Uncyclopedia. I do not know. But I sense that you could refine the gap between Conscience as an Empatic Awareness about your fellow Human Being (or even Humanity), and Conscience as a Bad Feeling when you are wanking instead of cleaning your bathroom. That might give you a new dimension to explore the subject further. --Suresh 00:00, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)
Thanks for the feedback. I'll think about a different approach. It seemed a little clever to have the article sound like the voice of everyone's mother that follows them through life. Maybe its not as original as I'd suspected. --ChosenOne 01:18, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)
Now I get you. Maybe you should have tried: This is your mom writing. Do you even remember when you did phone me the last time? And what about your schoolwork? How long do you think that dad and I....--Suresh 07:15, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)
- Just a few thoughts -- you could present it as the work of a terminally pathetic author. --
- "...Don't give me that 'I enjoy being single, I like the freedom' crap. You feel wretched half the time. Quit fooling yourself. You will just end up like us, 48-year-old impotent bachelors addicted to marshmallow peeps and malt liquor." (etc, etc)
- Or you could make it meaner. "People who have dysfunctional consciences, like you, should be shot. No, that is too good for foul weeds like you. You should be flayed alive, disemboweled, hung, drowned, burned at the stake, and then shot. Everyone of good conscience would agree on that."
- But I am a notorious pervert, so don't take any guidance from me. Do yer own thing, man.----OEJ 01:42, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)
Thanks for the help. I used many of your ideas. I got kind of nastier but sillier and it may still not be entirely funny, but at least its not frightening :) --ChosenOne 08:39, 20 Dec 2005 (UTC)
- If you're still watching this, it's totally redone! And wikitastic. Or at least better than the pile of crap I had before. --ChosenOne 00:00, 22 Dec 2005 (UTC)