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This needs to have more about COLDPLAY in it. Come on, they're not hard to make fun of! As much as I love them... =O
edit I like Coldplay...
They sound pretty good...
I went through this article (If you know what I mean...) and tidied it up a little (Fixed major grammatical errors, spell-checked any obviously unfunny misspelled words, added lulz.)
Personally, I believe that we need to get rid of the Amazonian part and maybe poke more realistically surrealistic humor at them, such as strengthening the Bono/Radiohead parts since they are the most humorous.