Heh heh, yes, more Pokemon. Ever have an english teacher/professor inform you that the book has loads of symbology that you never noticed? More than once I've wondered if they were making it up. And, conviently, Pokemon has a lot of surface level stuff. If this article never gets nominated, and there's nothing I can do, I will just have to keep writing Pokemon articles until one does get a few votes. (Also don't give it a -10 on everything because it has the p-word.)23:19, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
|Prose and formatting:||5||The section that described the characters had only one paragraph per subsection. You should join those and make a list of the characters, with each of those paragraphs describing one, IMHO.|
|Images:||8||Pretty good images, but it still needs that "large, main, and characteristic image".|
|Final Score:||41.5||A pretty good article, very creative concept and has a good way of making it humorous.|
|Reviewer:||--R. Daneel Olivaw (Gaia - Foundation) 22:00, 14 September 2007 (UTC)|
- Getting right on it, pee review it again. =)
edit Potential Hazard
The YouTube video is not on YouTube anymore. Just so's ya know.
- Oh damn, I didn't see it. Thanks, lol. I'm going to find a part of a pokemon episode anyways, and make a quiz for the symbology in it, or something. Seriously, thanks for pointing that out! 04:42, 21 September 2007 (UTC)
edit 2nd Review
I'm trying to get it ready for VFH. The only thing not included is one last picture, and it is still being processed in image request. Don't freak out that it says Pokemon. This article is not cliched!00:31, 28 September 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||2||i dont find it that funny at all but that is me|
|Concept:||2||i don't think it is a very good concept at all|
|Prose and formatting:||5||the formating is ok but you need to put the images in a better order|
|Images:||3||i don't really get the images with the captions you have put with it|
|Miscellaneous:||3||if find when you read it you fill like you are there for ever it might just be me but i think you have to much text|
|Final Score:||15||i don't really see this article getting much interest but that is me if you want you can resubmit it and see what someone els says|
|Reviewer:||10 October 2007|
- What the hell is this? I'll bet he didn't even read this. "The pictures are out of order"? Pee Review can really suck sometimes. 04:29, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
edit 3rd Review
I really need a decent review. This is my third request, and the last one was a "Hey! I'm going to whore out 5 reviews without reading the articles!" I think that it is ready for VFH, and if not, please tell if there is anything I can do!04:27, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||For me the piece was not packed with laughs. See endnotes.|
|Concept:||9||I really like the idea, and I think it's a good one.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||Needs work. See endnotes.|
|Images:||7||Appropriate images, the animations help.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||I am not a fan of children's TV but this idea is probably a good one.|
|Reviewer:||----OEJ 17:32, 12 October 2007 (UTC)|
Endnotes: Check the prose carefully. Whinning is not a word in English. "...claims the best spots of campsites" is not good grammar. Misty might claim "the pick of the campsites" or "the best campsites" or the "best spots to camp". I think that in most cases a writer needs to produce sentences that can be understood right away by someone who has drunk 6 beers. Every sentence needs to be so clear, so straight, that it's meaning cannot be mistaken.
- "Pikachu is chosen by God in the first episode, being struck by a lightning bolt that makes it nearly invincible. It is compared to David. Stupid!!!! Really, Pikachu is Moses. People misunderstand him, God chose him, Ash didn't even want to touch Pikachu without gloves for a while..."
Look carefully at the sense of this paragraph. Being "chosen by God" is not logically related to being struck by a lightning bolt -- lightning is often a sign of God's wrath, not of His favor. Was the biblical King David struck by lightning? Pikachu is referred to as "it" in the first part of the paragraph, and "him" in the latter half. Why? Did people misunderstand Moses, as implied by the parallel with Pikachu?
I would rewrite, and rewrite again, until all ambiguity and possibility for confusion is eliminated.
You are looking for something as clear and powerful as tequila.
Now, I am a very big fan of articles that tell you right away what they are going to be discussing. The opening paragraph of this article does not do that. Personally, I would be right upfront with readers. "There are hundreds of parallels between the Bible and the Pokemon testaments." Advice on giving public presentations is often phrased like this:
1. Tell the audience what you are going to tell them (overview). 2. Tell them. 3. Tell the audience what you just told them (summary).
This presentation style aids comprehension. For our purposes, an article that begins with a clear statement of subject sets the readers' minds on the correct track, and prepares them mentally for what is to follow. If you choose to come into a concept by a different route, then you should have a very good reason. Conversely, if you have no very compelling reason to avoid a straightforward opening statement of subject then it is best to use one.
Good luck with this. ----OEJ 17:32, 12 October 2007 (UTC)
edit 4th Pee Review
|Humour:||5||Note 1. The Christian perspective is actually the turn-off, not Pokemon. A critique of Pokemon through the Christian lens appears forced and uninspired. Since the bulk of the humor depends on the juxtaposition of Christianity and Pokemon, one must be especially careful to not transgress that already fine line into inanity because incorporating religion and humor requires even more sensitivity from the author in being able to deftly blaspheme whilst maneuvering about the pitfalls of cliché and unfunny randomness. Religious humor is wrought with such pitfalls so one has got to work even harder in making every single joke stand out and not just be another exercise in the absurd. Regardless, I did find myself smiling at several points including: "Brock is often called Moses, being the only black character on Pokémon…[and because] he has an affinity with stone…"; "Ash, the infamous protaginist, travels the land for most of his recorded life, searching for poor, defenseless pokémon with no one to guide them, which he then nurses them back to health in only 30 minutes on his show. He only keeps 12 pokémon at a time, resetting the count every time the season changes, and they follow him everywhere, obeying him, and worshipping him. He often recieves gashes to his hands, feet, and head. He gets dunked in water a lot, and almost drowns once. Most people think of him as a representative of Jesus. Wrong. He is obviously Goliath."; and "popular belief is that Pikachu is Moses, from God's 'choosing' of him."
Note 2. “[Ash] is obviously Goliath…[Misty] is obviously not Mary Magdalene, because there just isn't enough controversy surrounding her. She is often compared to Jesus's mother, Mary…Brock is often called Moses, being the only black character on Pokémon…”: the whole humor of the article depends upon proving the connection between the Pokemon characters and their Biblical counterparts necessary and the natural conclusion for any human being. As the article stands, the connections between the Pokemon characters and their Biblical counterparts are arbitrary. It’s going to require more research--which is never fun--to find those similarities which have been designated as “obvious”. Example: “Misty is Pharaoh! She figuratively imprisons Ash forcing him do manual labor such as setting up the campsite. And when the time comes to prove herself at the championships, she grabs her bike, runs away, and nearly drowns the next week at her water gym in Cerulean City.” Now, the only proof given was that Misty figuratively imprisoned Ash. Why the connection to Pharaoh? Why not Stalin? Why not Zedong? Why not my mom? They all have certainly imprisoned something or another at some point in their respective lives. The success (humor) of the connection demands the necessity that Misty is the most logical modern day allusion to Pharaoh. Note 3.The ending was a cop-out., ending with both admonition and alien speak at the expense of an intriguing and satisfying conclusion.
|Concept:||9||I enjoy the style of wrting employed and the juxtaposition of Pokemon and Christianity: X-tREME ComPare and CONtrAST betwEEN TwO UnLikE THINgs sO As To rELay aN INtriGUINg iDeA. Living the postmodern reality, I heartily encourage you to appraise the past with an irreverent eye.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||I'm not particularly keen on grammar but I am keen on diction. A few points.
Note 1. "Ash, the infamous protaginist". Famous is more apporpriate. Note 2. "Finding Christian Symbology in Pokémon". Symbology= 1.the study of symbols 2. The use of symbols (dictionary.com). Definition 1 doesn’t work. Definition 2 doesn’t work either because this article is about Pokemon use of Christian symbols not Christian “use of symbols” in Pokemon. Note 3. "Allusions to Christianity in Pokemon" would be more fitting. Also, there are spelling errors. I don't know much about formatting but this article doesn't have anything (formatting-wise) that stands out, good or bad. Note!Forgive me, I was too tired by time I got to the “How Did You Score” section. I just skimmed through the section. I saw additonal evidence to support respective Pokemon characters’ connections to Bible folk, but such evidence could have been put in the sections of the concerned character.
|Images:||3||Writing this review, I have forgotten the pictures. They do nothing for the article.|
|Miscellaneous:||(6)||LOL, I read your listing of Christian symbolism evidenced by Pokemon episodes. Very creative and may I just say that Nostradamus has got nothing on you: through your eyes, I imagine my looking at Elmer’s Glue may be interpreted as some sort of Freudian yearning for some albino heifer of a woman who will stick by my side.|
|Final Score:||27||Any article, short of being deleted, has the potential to be VFH'ed. This particular article, though it may have to have more work done on it than most,is no exception. Should the Christian critique become too troublesome, may one suggest tackling (<---hahahaha! Tackle attack!) Pokemon through Marxist, Feminist, or Bat **** Insane lens?|
|Reviewer:||Mightydandylion 04:44, 23 February 2008 (UTC)|
edit How this should be read
I think one of the problems that people have when they read this is that they read it wrong. This isn't some inane and random nonsense I'm spewing, this is structured and referenced. Information is cited sometimes, and specific events mentioned are given the correct episode date, if you ever care to look it up. In the list of events, every one of the 'character symbols' are true, with the correct episode, although the Subliminal section is largely made up.
People also have largley missed the point. I'm also satirizing english teachers. So many of mine have declared books full of Christian symbology. A guide on literary symbology gave me a very generic list of Christian symbols, and I was inspired by their capacity to be applied to absolutely anything. It had a checklist of 50 traits belonging to Jesus, for example, and many of them are added to this article, especially for Ash and Max.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is close to a Wikipedia article in format and function. Read this as if you were researching the topic to write a term paper. It is supposed to be somewhat serious, although it is on a silly subject. Thanks!00:44, 15 April 2008 (UTC)