Talk:Chris Benoit

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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Chris Benoit article.
This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that.

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[edit] Needed Changes

First off, the Michael Cole thing is stupid and not funny whatsoever. Second, someone write it here that Chris Benoit is living in Oklahoma under the assumed identity of Eddie Guerrero and have a picture of Benoit with a mustache and a sombrero. The caption should read "La verdad, yo soy Eddie Guerrero" or something like that. Please consider these changes because this article has gotten a bit stale as of late.SnerbNerb 3:29 19 August 2007 (UTC)#

God Damn it someone make some changes! This articles sucks.

fuck you delete this article. it's foul.

[edit] What the hell?

Who made this piece of crap article?!? There is a HUGE diference between being stupid and actually being FUNNY. If you are going to paraody Benoit and the tradgedy behind his Family's death, at least make it seem a bit funny, and not retarted as hell. JSelby 16:12, 26 June 2007 (UTC)#

  • YEAH!!! At least include some references to Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko being involved. Or that it was a satanic ritual carried by The Brood which killed them. Or that they were practising Diving Headbutts in the living room and things got out of hand... —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 80.41.176.210 (talk • contribs)

Dude you need to go to hell you should be ashamed of your article about Chris Benoit it is a horrible tragedy and no attempts to humorize it should be made


No, I'm not Chris Benoit. Please sign your comments with four tildes, as shown at the top of the page, thanks. Tomtyke 12:27, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Ummmm.....not funny

Why would you even want to parody Chris Benoit right now? I mean for the love of god people he was a hero to many wrestling fans (myself included), and the wrestling world is very split on this issue. Parodying it is far from approate right now. I don't even know what to think on this. I mean come on peopel. I get being funny and trying to make humor out of a dark situation, but doing this now is far from the right time. I really truly hope this gets taken down, and we can do a proper parody at a later date when the grief that the entire wrestling community fans, performers, writers, producers, and promoters alike are feeling right now. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 68.225.170.157 (talk • contribs)

Get a sense of humor. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 24.166.178.226 (talk • contribs)
Please see 9/11. 63.226.247.36 01:10, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Why don't you try a little more diligence in picking your heroes? For instance, someone who doesn't murder his wife and kids?

This is absolutely stupid. I accept that everything is fair game for comedy on uncyclopedia but shit this is not right! im sure that anybody who writes this crap about him is not a wrestling fan at all and wouldn't understand why this is so wrong. i know he did something disgusting and wrong but nobody knows what happened that day inside his head. this is disrespectful and sick. i mean really sick. whomever wrote this should be ashamed of themselves. i would like to ask that this article be removed, when it comes to a subject this touchy it is quite obvious it will offend many people and not just Chris' remaining family.

[edit] Dude whoever wrote this needs to die.

Its way too soon to do this, there is a fine line on what is acceptable, wrong, and just plain retarded. this crosses in the retard line so far i wanna flying headbutt somebody. At the VERY LEAST you should wait seven months like they did with Steve Erwin (his daughter now does the show), but still thats complete wrong and retarded.

i have three letters for whoever wrote this. DDD!! (DOODOOODOOO!!)


and now i have three words. GO TO HELL.


Benoit was cool. he had the awesomest flying headbutt ever and he will always be champion to true WWE/ECW/WCW fans. Done. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 69.181.131.130 (talk • contribs)

I bet Chris would have found this page funny JayKeaton 18:30, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] How to do this article

This needs to be thought out and coherent, not a bunch of crap thrown together. Black humour and random humour do not go together very well, so let's try to keep it focused. I gave it a central theme with the parody of McMahon's speech, and subsequent removal of Benoit's name etc as is happening on WWE.com. Please try to make things funny and not just stupid. Thanks Tomtyke 00:46, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

I think black humour is the way to go with this page, uncyc is FULL of random humour, but here is the perfect opportunity to use some black humour. There is no need to make this one just another random page. I don't really get the whole killing McMahon thing, but the opening of the "apology" by McMahon was sort of clever, and the censored bits are pretty funny, they aren't annoying because it becomes apparent that anything solid and black will be Benoits own name. A little more black humour and a bit of continuity, and this page will look great. JayKeaton 07:12, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Tomtyke, do you know how to make a custom template for the wikipedia template, so that it will black out his name (with a spoiler censor) that links to wikipedia too? I've been looking at the templates, but I have never had to make or edit a template before, it just needs to look exactly the same except spoiler out his name JayKeaton 08:21, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Got it! Woohoo! JayKeaton 09:17, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Go To Hell

Whoever wrote this article can go to hell. I don't care how disgusting this situation is, the person that wrote this should be removed from this page, and should be going to hell for this. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 74.38.49.184 (talk • contribs)

If you are scared of being offended, then you picked the wrong website to visit. JayKeaton 07:13, 30 June 2007 (UTC)
There are articles about other murderers on this site that are far more tasteless. If you are easily offended Uncyclopedia is not for you. Tomtyke 12:27, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Too many murder jokes!!!

There's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much stuff here about Chris Benoit's murders. Yeah, I know it's not right what he did and all, but the whole article is Murder Joke after Murder Joke after Murder Joke. I'm not saying to re-write it or anything, just improvise a bit, maybe? Lizardfizzard 16:10, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Think so close to the events in time you'd expect most of the humour to be very dark. In a few weeks time it will all level out and the morons will have moved on to something else. -- Sir Mhaille Image:Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
The article itself was only created after the events unfolded, and so it's obviously going to be focused around that. The thing is Benoit is going to be remembered for this, and the article will reflect that. I agree this is a bit too murder-centric, but I'm trying to keep the most tasteless stuff out, and generally find humour. If you really look at it, it's a critique of the WWE for distancing themselves as they have done, and the furore over steroids is going to be covered in the article by reference to the old favourite, kitten huffing. Lots of non-murder stuff already. Tomtyke 16:57, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Alright then, Tomtyke. Now, don't think I'm taking anything away from this article. It's awesome, no doubt about it. Most of it is hilarious and well-written. I just think it's a tiny bit unfair how almost every single one of these jokes are about the murder. There are other ways to parody his behaviour, y'know, in-ring and out. I know he'll probably be remembered for all this, but it's likely that he'll be remembered for other things as well. So, basically, in conclusion, it would make me happy if you could just edit this article a tiny bit to represent other things that he's done. Besides this, it's very good stuff. Lizardfizzard 17:22, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Feel free to join in and contribute. I do recognise that he did achieve other things in his career, however, it's not Wikipedia and thus don't expect it to be a fair and even-handed critique of the man. Hopefully stuff can be written that isn't focused upon the tragic events surrounding his death, but it's an evolving process and will take time. Thanks for your input though, and like I said, feel free to add anything you like. Tomtyke 00:11, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Litvinenko

I removed the Russian stuff as it didn't really tie in with the article, and just seemed like random crap about Stalin, ZZ Top and communism. If you want to work Benoit into the Litvinenko story, please try to keep it relevant. Tomtyke 22:51, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Hillarious

Okay, so maybe not, but it's funny seeing all of the wrestling fans get all pissed off about it. Roman Dog Bird 00:29, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

you are a shithead. i hardly see how it is funny.

[edit] Name still visible

His name is still visible in the contents box.--24.61.135.23 03:36, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

Fixed it. Wow, censoring his name on this whole article sure was an effort, it really does make the page unique, like that article full of question marks JayKeaton 16:08, 5 July 2007 (UTC)
Do we keep Nancy Benoit censored, since technically it shouldn't be, or is it funny that "the censor" has gone so far they've even censored that. Tomtyke 21:32, 5 July 2007 (UTC)


We should censor out her last name at least JayKeaton 15:12, 6 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Everyone was making fun of O.J. Simpson when he killed two people...

Doesn't Chris Benoit deserve it too?--Mrasdfghjkl 05:42, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Who said making fun of o.j simpson was right?

[edit] wikipedia joke

what about adding notice of the wikipedian wrestler who knew of Benoit's family death before bodies were found. user:andersmusician --201.230.0.83 19:42, 11 July 2007 (UTC)

Wikipedia entry on Chris Benoit has been cited as a source by a media organization. The citation is in:
Good idea, we could say he was a wrestling fan that won a ticket to the exclusive "home match" where Benoit defeated his family and then defeated himself. Good thinking 99 JayKeaton 07:27, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Blanking out Benoit's name

The article itself is ok, but blanking out his name all the time is really weird to look at. Not as worse as the AAAAAAAAAAAA article, but still. Speedboy Salesman 14:31, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Name is still visible

In most areas when you put your cursor over the censored words. --WhiteOrchidBlues 21:48, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

That's a pre-existing feature of Uncyclopedia's censored template and there's nothing we can do about it. Tomtyke 11:26, 13 July 2007 (UTC)

Actually that is the point, although you can replace them all with █ characters if you like. The only reason I put ████ in some of them was because I couldn't figure out how to get the spoiler code into all the templates. I would have made the entire page with the mouse over visible ones if I knew how JayKeaton 16:40, 14 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Crossface

216.232.133.201 18:59, 24 July 2007 (UTC)ShadyKnight


I honestly believe that his wife killed his son, and in his anguish he crossfaced the bitch. Then, in the final states of agony, he decided to go out the only way he knew how: a flying headbutt off the top rope.

Now before you get on Chris's case, this was all part of a master scheme set in motion by the Corporate Ministry. Yea, that's right, they're still around. Anyways, the plan was to set in motion the murder of Chris's family, thus setting Chris himself off on a mental flip-out. Chris was to meet Death and crossface him, but Death cannot be touched, so he went to hell. Once in hell, he managed to land a crossface on Satan that was so powerful that Good Old JR himself was yelling "CROSSFACE!! CROSSFACE!! CROSSFACE!!"

He stole back his body and is now rampaging through the US in search of the Underweartaker

Can we add the quote where during Meredith Viera did the interview over Benoit on the Today show and the stupid lady confused Chris Benoit's Canadian Crippler nickname as the Canadian Strangler?


What the holy flying shitting facefuck is wrong with you?

[edit] Please!!!!!!!!!! Add this video in the page!!!!!!!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=F9swapyH_uc Its realy funny, and I think it deserves to be on this page!!!!!!

Thats disgusting, you filthy assraping mother shit-in-the-mouth greasy cock sucker.

[edit] oh my god...

i watched the wrestlemania 23 dvd again(i got it before they started censoring blank blank out of it)and i watch the match that had benoit in it. here are jbl's EXACT WORDS when he was doing commentery: "Chris benoit is going in the hall of fame!" ...... yeah. jbl jinxed blank blank!67.185.26.202 17:08, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

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