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a 12 oz. can of beer contains more calories (180 to 210) and carbs. than a 12 oz. can of soda pop just think about it when your putting down 12 packs, pitchers and cases (add them up). beer is an irritant and a stimulant which leads to addiction. a far along drunk has no control over having just one and is unable to function without it for he has devoloped or adapted to a life surrounded by alcohol use and addictive behaviors at this point it is necessary to get treatment, AA, a sponsor and serious help. the health factors are devastating, kidney failure, and liver desintegration are key killers not to mention the inability to conduct motor vehicles (yeah most say im a great drunk driver, theres no such thing they have just been lucky)... 35 of 36 alcohol abusers die of their disease throughout the world. i am a recovering alcoholic, i never thought i had a problem it was just partying to me, if someone had a problem with it, its exactly what it was to me "their problem". i lost many great things important to me and almost my life. beers not a laughing matter, sorry people die to its disease and leave behind wives, husbands, kids, mothers, fathers, siblings and in most cases they pay for the users mistake. thankyou and forgive me if its stupid but all of this is a fact!!!!!!!!!

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This article isn't very funny and it is almost devoid of real satire. It's a bunch of dumb jabs, insults, and out-of-place absurdities with little comedic value.

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