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Wow, what a cool page! I learned soooo much! Thank you missers and missus! I want to eat you. THAT'S HOW MUCH I CARE!
This page is teh Crap -Wombo
who is the tool who keeps putting serious content on this page?
Just about all of the quotes at the beginning are very very lame. It seems clear to me that some 13 year old who recently bought a bass decided they would edit this page a bunch. It's more like I bass fan boy page. Since it seems clear that no one loves this page, I'll take the liberty to try to make it something passable. Any objections? - Benny Goodman
Yeah, so none of the original content from the Bass guitar page is present on the page now. It's my thought that this is a very good thing. If you're concerned I invite you to read over the original content.--Benny Goodman 18:16, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
OK, so obviously I'm not done with it, but I think it's a good start.--Benny Goodman 18:28, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
Mark 3 added in. Soon I'll add a Fender of America section and talk about the sly marketing of the JAZZ BASS, aimed at JAZZ musicians of course. should be fun. --Benny Goodman 07:18, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
They've actually just recently been unmerged.--Benny Goodman 00:17, 7 March 2007 (UTC)
From Pee Review
Hey, so before I got to this article it was a load of junk, mostly just a random collections of free standing punch line which weren't funny at all. I'm trying to turn it into an actually passable page. Anyways, it would be great to get some advice, seeing as how this is my first page :0 --Benny Goodman 19:19, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||Humor is there but could use some tuning. See endnotes.|
|Concept:||8||We need an article on bass guitar. This article takes the honorable and wise approach of actually using a real guitar innovator, Leo "Strat" Fender and changing the story around.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Grammar and spelling aren't problems but sentence flow and rhythm could use tuning. See endnotes.|
|Images:||0||We need to make a picture of a railroad tie with some cotton candy on it.|
|Miscellaneous:||7||I'm ambivalent about this piece. It is ok (especially for a first article) but it could also be better.|
|Reviewer:||----OEJ 04:01, 22 February 2007 (UTC)|
On humor: It's odd but just having something funny happen isn't enough. Presentation is half the laugh. Jazz up the joke, make it breathe. "Leo Fender presented his first electric bass before a crowded auditorium in Pittsburgh, and he invited the renowned bassist Bill Johnson to join him on stage to demonstrate the marvelous instrument. Johnson willingly bellied up to the massive bass and put his fingers on the creosoted fingerboard. The crowd held its breath. Fender threw a massive knife switch...but the bass made not a sound. 'Blast!' cried Fender. 'I forgot...wood doesn't conduct electricity.' 'No,' said Bill Johnson, 'but my goldarned belt buckle sure does. Now help me down outa these here rafters!'"
OK, all that does is put a story to the joke about wood not conducting electricity. There could be other stories -- all sorts of funny things might happen. But you might help teh funny out with some plausible details, some dialog, and comic pacing and structure (aka "setup-and-punchline").
On prose: I notice that most of your sentences are similar in length and structure. Readers often appreciate variety -- a mix of long and short sentences; some which begin with subordinate clauses like "While the giraffe is not a mollusc" and some that jump right to the subject like "No giraffe ever ate a space station". You are a competent writer, Sir. It merely remains to hone your craft.
And of course I offer these suggestions with the caveat that they are the delusional, foetid, and possibly criminally prosecutable opinions of a foetid, foetid man. Especially after a dinner of Brussels sprouts, honey-baked beans, and ExLax...but, er, let that pass. ----OEJ 04:01, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
Hmm. You could start by trying to use stereotypes about bass guitar/bassists, and then exploit that to some kind of sarcastic degree. For example, the Randy Jackson (the American Idol guy) article, I took his whole lingual essense with "dude" and "dawg," and tried to impress the point of its absurd stupidity in a goofy and sarcastic manner. Try and find something(s) about the bass/bassists that you can exploit for the sake of satire/humor.
Also just try and just be silly, without being too random (like the all your bass are belong to us, I think thats a really clever one). Alot of articles have some things that are far too random and pointless, and therefore lack in the funny (that doesn't mean weird stuff can't be made up). They're just... random, there always has to be some substantial point. Its important to keep it tied into the topic, even if in doing such you're really making some kind of stretch or association.
Thats, at least, how I try and go about my edits/articles. Comedy/satire is about finding something and pointing out/exploiting its absurditites. - AhhDiddums 04:07, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
- I'm quite displeased with whoever "merged" Bass guitar into Bass. Basically, you merged nothing -- you just made a redirect. The section on Leo Fender making a bass guitar was better than the section on the "Malaysian delicacy" origin of the bass -- which is quite utterly idiotic. When you merge you should take the best of each article and combine them. You failed. ----OEJ 01:58, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
- Yeah, I'm little impressed as well, I'm going to see what I can do to get this thing fixed, I was still working on the Leo Fender piece. --Benny Goodman 23:14, 26 February 2007 (UTC)