Talk:Awkward Conversation

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Someone needs to get an audio of this D: --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 21:53, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

I may be able to do it (I have a mic on my mac...), but I'm not really sure how to get all that done around here. If anyone else wants to, go right ahead. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 22:23, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
ask RAHB if he'd like to. Tell him Cajek sent you. Anonymous tipster 14:36, 24 June 2008 (UTC)

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Humour: 8 There was definitely some laugh out lines in there and I really enjoyed it!

I loved the bit about the bears and the guy’s parents. And the other bit with the wallet “confusion”.

But there are some issues as I explain below.

Concept: 9 Definitely very good and plenty to do with a concept like this and you executed it nicely and dragged it out well: not too long and not over board.

One thing I would say is you could maybe go a little easier on the “sex offender” side of things I think it might be better if you portray the other guy as someone down on his luck rather than a complete pervert. Take out the sexual harassment line and make him get fired for another (law based) reason (maybe stealing office supplies or something) and with the child molestation thing (it’s too big and too funny to take out completely) just inset a line something like this: “no, no of course you didn’t; boys go fishing with strangers all the time” so it leaves it a little uncertain I think would work nicer.

Prose and formatting: 8 Your prose was good all told: it was nicely narrated and the fact we only got one side of the conversation was brilliantly done and made it fun to read. One thing I’d maybe say is that you should throw in a few more “Umms” and “ers” to make the conversation seem a little more awkward (at times the narrator seemed almost comfortable)

Also maybe a few more links wouldn’t hurt, here for example: " you know how us guys can be. We always lie to make things sound bigger " you have a prime opportunity link “things” to “Penis”.

Oh and you had a nice little touch to the see also section. Kudos.

Images: 7 They were OK. If I was being picky (and I am) I’d say they are possibly a little on the small side. The first one was very good as it implied that this conversation was in a public toilet and they’re awful places to meet, it may be better to use something with older men though as that would fit the characters better. The third picture was good too, you expanded the bear idea (which was by far one of the funniest things I’ve read in a ages) nicely and made better by the caption. The second one, sorry to say, was a little meh. Maybe have the car look more like a wreck or have it crashed into a wall or preparing to drive off a cliff. Something like that.
Miscellaneous: 8 Averaged
Final Score: 40 Yeah this was definitely a good article! I certainly loved it! Sorry it took me a while to get around to it, and then you said “the great Orian”, that made me scared of giving you something substandard so I spent longer on it than I maybe would have, though I am flattered that you’ve heard of me and my mad reviewing skillz. Also thanks for voting for my article, glad you liked it. Also Also Also congratulations on the feature: I’ve not read it yet, but I will.

If there is anything else you’d like to ask/thank/insult me about please visit my talk page.

Reviewer: Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 00:55 3 July 2008


edit After A Quick Second Look

I conclude that I am happy enough to VFH this. If you're finished of course, don't wanna put you off. Also I said that I didn't give scores of 40+ very often this is actually only the second (out of 47) of my reviews to get such acclaim (This was the first and I defy anyone to read that article without wetting themselves). That's something in it's own right I guess.
Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 07:29 4 July 2008

I think I am pretty much finished with most of the edits, I just want to hold off on VFH until the audio is done, so that the audience can get the full awkward experience. Once RAHB finishes it, I will be happy for you to vote it up. Thanks, glad you liked it. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 16:03, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

Oh yeah, for got about the the audio. fair enough I shall hold the horse. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 17:53 4 July 2008

edit Great Article, One of the Best I've Read

I really enjoyed the writing style and concept of this piece. It really does talk about how we often do feel uneasy, while trying not to be insulting, when we are being insulting in a very subtle way. Subtlety is something that is very valuable and uncherished in most writings. I hope you write more great articles! --teflongone001 18:00, 24 July 2008 (UTC)Teflongone001

Hey thanks Teflon. Glad you liked it. I got the concept after talking to a girl that used to be my best friend. Whenever we talk now she's extremely fake, and its horribly awkward to be there. While our conversations are obviously not this horrendous, we all go through this stuff. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 18:08, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Don't talk about the tradgedy behind the article, you'll make me sad. I mean I'm not shouting about the fact my matress is full of springs fighting their way into my back and that's where I got the idea for insomnia am I? SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 18:22 24 July 2008
The tradgedy makes the comedy stand out that much more. And I'm fine, but thanks for thinking of me Orian. I'm happy with what is there, and atleast something good comes out of the awkwardness. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 18:34, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Er.. yeah. Umm... Obviously it's very sad that you lost contact with a friend and Umm, yeah it does suck... Uhh. *Hugs*? Seriously though yeah your right, comedy and tradgedy were made for each other and like Teflathingy said I look forward to more great articles! SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 18:56 24 July 2008
GAH! Writer's Ideas block! I'm having some trouble with that as it is. Perhaps suicide is the answer... The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 19:00, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Go steal some from Cajek Or me even. No, suicide is only sometimes the answer and rarely should it be your first choice. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 19:07 24 July 2008
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