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communist bastards i hate them - adolf hitler on communists
Needs Russian Reversal
There must be a reversal somewhere for Hitler. It just makes sense. --126.96.36.199 11:00, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
- But it's not funny. -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 22:31, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
Suggestion For Header Quote
"He's not the Furher, he's a very naughty Boy." Hitler's mum on the Liberation of Dachau.Apage 20:57, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
George Bush on Hitler. "I dont care what anybody says, that guy had good points. i agree 100% with what he did. If i could i would grab me a piece of that ass and, Oh shit is this microphone still on, fuck shit turn it off.dsarg.rts.h.tsrhh
winston Churchill talking about hitler
"if he wasn't being such an asshole at the time i reckon we coulda been friends. i mean his mustache is reeeeeally cute."
Dear sir of who ever made this page please link this page to hyc. Tahnk you, fattie.
Unlock the page, now
NIGGERSYOUR ALL A BUNCH OF COCKSUCKING FAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO U MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH, BLACK PPL R FUCKING AWEESUM, GO SCREW URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hitler is a Jewish Comedian
We need that in there somewhere. Hitler as a popular Jewish comedian.
Hitler was apparently a GREAT genius while he was a kid, which gave him a god like complex about himself to think that only him and people like him were the next reincarnate of jesus. Then, he was rejected by an art college which made him all COOL giving him the title of "The Original Emo Kid". And because of the summer he spent in Amsterdam getting raped in the ass by shemales, hookers, and those one freaks from animes with the dick nipples, he blamed the jews for all the problems in the world because there big noeses apparently "Will drive the world into a sexual submission of greed". Then he committed suicide.RAAAAAAAAAAPPPPEEEEEEE
It would be fun if it said Adolf Hitler (aka Dirty Sanchez). XD--188.8.131.52 14:20, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
I would like to make a suggestion for an addition to this brilliant article - a quote by Nietzshe: Woops!
Who the fuck put half of this article backwards?
How about: "German Chancelor from 1934 -1946. Noted for his economic policy and social reform."
I like ham!
A very high ratio of laughs to verbage.
where is the joke?
2 and a half pages of gibberish with random celebrity names on every new line in NOT FUNNY. If this was stand up comedy people would be looking at their feet in emabressment. Use the above joke.
No. --Nytrospawn 16:47, 17 Jul 2005 (UTC)
The above isn't a joke, it's bollocks. What's funny about stating a fact about him and then saying 'noted for his political and social reform' when, obivously he wasn't, being a despotic dictator and all. Is that the joke? Because it's about as funny as an Al-Qaeda terrorist plot. This isn't stand up, it's for reading. If you haven't got the attention span to read more than one line, that's your problem, not ours. (ooh. harsh) --Magicaltrevor 11:22, 18 Jul 2005 (UTC)
- I agree with anon. The absurdity of personality x (Paris Hilton, Opra, etc.) being referred to in connection to Hitler (tee-hee!), perhaps as Hitler's y, results in zero comedy and if this we're a comedy act, a long fucking zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...In terms of comedy and originality, this page misses the boat and .
Most of the images aren't funny compared to some of the other creative things I've seen on uncyclopedia.--184.108.40.206 03:44, 8 November 2006 (UTC)
- Well I tried to cut down the images, some of them were really stupid and seemed more like a "hey look, I put that there" effort rather than part of a sincere attempt to make the article hilarious. I rewrote the Early Life section, especially because I agreed with the comments about the absurd insertions of random celebrities being used to carry the joke - and the article. Better? --Peyote 04:23, 9 November 2006 (UTC)
- I gave this article a major kick in the ass. What does everyone think?--Poopdeckpercyplop 04:13, 11 November 2006 (UTC)
OH THE IRONY
The article was colonized, how ironic. --Gamiac 03:10, 25 June 2006 (UTC) He reminds me of Bush
A Télapó Német megfelelője a Gestapó
He was stupid
No really he was. He mairried Eva Bruan. Tried to whipe out the Jews and I bet is his own Boy.
Ive got an awesome smiley clip og Hitler but theres no insert picture button!!!! How do I put it in???!!!
Heil myself! Get a woman with an inflated frankfurter strapped to her head to run around drunkenly and ramble about Mel Brooks and the "Conductors"! Rickyrab 00:28, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
For anybody who cares about this article, please direct all helpful edits to User:Electrified mocha chinchilla/Sandbox2 as this is where this article is getting major reconstructive surgery. I'm asking for some help, as the task of cleaning up the Hitler article is a big one. Not that I can't do it alone, but it might take 50,317,291 years. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:55, 27 February 2007 (UTC)
- Wow. It's um, noticably better. You could maybe give a reason why all the posters are in English? If you get that, it's gravy.-- 13:29, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
"Adolf" not "Adolph"
I'd like to note that it's "Adolf" and not "Adolph". Learn to spell his name if you're going to edit, jackasses. "Ph" is only found in the English language, and when translated directly, it's an "F", not a "Ph". Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 21:12, 28 March 2007 (UTC)
I wanted to put a quote on this page, but you facists won't allow it. I will put the uote here and then perhaps someone who has wasted a large proportion of their lives deleting articles and spelling correction will be allowed to add it?
“I just wanted to be friends, but I didn't know how.”
maybe as you cant spell?
What bastard disallowed editing of adolf hitler?!!! Anyone with time please put "Adolf now spends his free time as a publicist for rammstein" right after "but was removed from this office after it turned out that he didn't pay his membership fees."
220.127.116.113 19:45, 19 June 2007 (UTC)Some Guy
From Pee Review
|Humour:||8||Its history. Its boring. But you did a great job.|
|Concept:||9||We already have a Hitler thingy, but you cannot have too many Hitler thingies|
|Prose and formatting:||10||Good use of all formatting available.|
|Images:||10||Really good animations and photoshops|
|Final Score:||47||A. I want to nominate your article to be feature. I think it has a chance to go all the way.|
|Reviewer:||Happy Weasel 23:38, 25 March 2007 (UTC)|
I think we should mention that Ari Gold is one of the few jews Hitler could respect.--Negrofriend 13:01, 12 April 2007 (UTC)
Why where my contributions deleted?
I have noticed that some of my edits to this article where reverted. Mainly I removed this:
"Hitler often painted beautiful paintings of farm animals engaging in oral sex, flurries engaging in oral sex, and space monsters and hippies...yes...they were also engaging in oral sex. Hitler also had a fascination with painting carrots being eaten up by a "silly rabbit" and also fat naked children eating ice cream off of pieces of wood. Hitler's favorite painting was one of him dancing on an orgy of sunflower rainbows and homosexuals sending e-mails to each other."
and replaced it with this: "Hitler's greatest contributions were to the avant-garde movement. His most famous work in this genre was the Holocaust, a groundbreaking experiment in "living art." Unfortunately, most critics misinterprited the Holocaust as Hitler's hatred of Jews, when it was actually intended as a commentary on the futility of life."
Electrified mocha chinchilla deleted mine and reverted to the original text at the top.
Would someone enlighten me as to why Electrified mocha chinchilla thought his/her version was funnier? Was mine genuinely not funnier, or does Electrified [insert coffee and rodent here] just have a shitty sense of humor?
As long as we're on the subject, Electrified mochachilla also deleted my contribution "Fall from Power" (which I inserted immediately after the "Rise to Power" section), whose main feature was this:
Was Electrified mochachilla just being an ass, or was it simply not funny enough? Radioactive afikomen 07:00, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
- Please understand that this article is often vandalized and many unfunny edits are made. Certainly, your edits were humorous, but inconsistent. You inserted that "His most famous work in this genre was the Holocaust, a groundbreaking experiment in "living art."" Well, this is funny in itself, but conflicts with the entire section on the Holocaust on this page. Furthermore, your section on his "Fall From Power" was just a picture. It was also very short and somewhat misplaced. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 21:10, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
If it was "misplaced", then where should I put it? In the "Suicide" section? Or should I re-create the "Fall from Power" section, just with a few paragraphs of text? Radioactive afikomen 22:42, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
satan loves this article!
seems to me like that should be a heading on this article.
Shouldn't all the extra Hitler quotes in the "Hitler Quotes" section be moved to their own Unquotable:Hitler article? The main Hitler article is already long enough, so any content that can be should be given its own page. (Admittedly,
most all of the current crop of Hitler quotes are rather lame, but that's "Unquotable" articles for you.) ---Humble Acolyte of Humor, Radioactive afikomen 04:11, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
I'm surprised there isn't already an Unquotable:Hitler page. Radioactive afikomen 04:15, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
I found a few funny images pertaining to Hitler while browsing the Czech Uncyclopedia.
Perhaps we could implement them into the article somehow? --23:14, 27 June 2007 (UTC)
--Zodiac 10:32, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
Good article, but...
This is a really good article, and I'm glad that it is protected. However, someone still managed to slip in a bit that is not funny, does not use coherent English and is simply out of place in the article:
"Hitler also took over some country...
1)The segments above and the dialogue that fits in between should be deleted from the article.
2)I also wanted to delete the (my convulsions) part, because it makes no sense now that someone changed Mein Krampf to Mein Kampf. Krampf is german for convulsions, which is why I had put it there in the first place.
3)"...on the rag, because it had decided that Hitler's Third Reich was ruining the minds of the young Poles and a boycott was necessary. Perhaps most importantly, Hitler's Nazi party was banned from Poland, and their material influences were often confiscated and thrown back across the border like frisbees."
This part is a little unclear. maybe instead it should say:
"...on the rag, because its leaders had decided that Hitler's music and Third Reich policies were ruining the minds of the young Germans living in Poland and a boycott was necessary. Consequently, Hitler's Nazi party was banned from Poland, their material influences were confiscated, and Hitler saw his own CD's thrown back across the border like frisbees."
4) "...has very sexy legs. I wouldn't mind a piece of that. Mmm, mmm, good.[Citation not needed at all, thank you very much] Hitler" that part should be deleted, too.
5)"In his time at the Federal Prison of the Greatest Place in the World, Germany." This is not even a sentence, and adds nothing stellar to what comes before or after it.
So to the admins, please do the following changes if you can. Thanks.--Battywat444 03:48, 5 July 2007 (UTC)
Hitler and His Moped
Hitler owned a moped but never rode it. Hitler gave him 5 hd's and Goebbels owned several imported HD's, including the one with variomatic transmission. This got traded with a russian political officer for some vodka and a go at driving a train. It was last known to be used for pulling up stumps and driving a drainage pump on a collective farm somewhere on the edge of the Pripet marshes. Goering favoured British bikes and owned a Rudge Imperial which he stole from the Danish embassy in Paris in 1929. Doenitz won the Rudge off Goering in a bet - something to do with which one of them could fit in the pilots seat of a Me 109 however Goering welched on the bet and Doenitz never forgave him. The later conduct of the war had a lot to do with the rivalry that grew between the two after this incident. Of the Nazi top brass, only Himmler did not have a motorcycle. He regarded them as trivial playthings which represented decadence and depravity. Nobody else liked him and were probably a bit afraid of him, including Hitler. This would not have prevented Hitler from riding his moped though. The real reason was because he only had one testicle which was permanently and painfully swollen. Thats why he never rode the moped, and why he was always so cross and short tempered.
- I'll see what I can do to add this into the article. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 21:56, 11 July 2007 (UTC)
This guy Hitler should like, be arrested
Would someone get on this?..--Thisismyaccount,nowgocryabout! 02:32, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
By the age of 16 Hitler had fallen so deep into depression and was so confused with his sexuality that he started wearing random tight levies for girls with holes in them making him the first outspoken EMO with actual balls. Hitler actually started the whole 'Emo pants' trend we know today. When Hitler was 18 and went on to become the psycho dictator of Germany who killed jews (Which in fact is a pretty normal thing to do in Germany even today for recreation) he noticed that after burning jews in Pizza Hut ovens they would get funky hair that would have flips on sides and burned edges which suited his emotional tastes. Hitler thought this was amazing so he cut his hair like the burned jews and thus creating todays emo hair trends...It is also important to note that Hitler created the first eyeliner with the ashes of dead people (Usually French because no one likes them anyway..pff) who disobeyed him and packed it into designer bottles for sale at his exclusive store Hot Topic, which ironically is owned by a pair of jews today.
Hitler had so many emotional problems that he couldn't control so he had to cut him self like all EMO kids...but in his case he cut jews because it made more sense to him...His usual saying were somehwHat like this; "UHHHH" im so EMO *cuts jew* UHHHH fucking i hate life "cuts another jew".
Important Contributions from Hitler
- Created Emo Barbie with Barbara
- Made Britney Spears hate jews which ultimately drove her to insanity
- Created tight pants for easy views of erections
- Played the Sims 2 creating many EMO assets for the game
Results of Hitlers Actions Today
Todays EMO can be described as a girl or usually very confused guy with the following; Ppls suffering from a sexually confused and inferior complex. The normal EMO today has come to be from a Goth which produces in an A sexual manner constantly splitting off form the original parent creating more Goths who claim they really aren't Goth. The goth goes through a natural stage where it is born and then seals its self in a cocoon made out of black all natural silk later hatching into an EMO. The EMO then has a lifespan of about 5 years before it hatches into an adult who blames everyone for their childhood choices, also known as a Pedophile. It is also wise to know that Goths and Emos wear dark clothes to make their albino skin even whiter so they can scare off hungry predators like Preps and Cheerleaders.
I tried to find something funny in there, but I couldnt, just a long piece of shit about emos or something, not funny at all -- Mr.ZinkyWinks 05:08, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
I remember in late 2005 when there were two Adolf Hitler articles, they were both image whores and they didn't seem to be that clear, even if it was funny. Now I see there's only one article with a complete rewrite - plus it makes sense, whilst maintaining funnyness. Good job. --Nachlader 20:26, 15 October 2007 (UTC)
Hey I thought up a new quote. If you guys like it add it. I can't because I don't have an account and I'm too much of a lazy ass.
"In Soviet Russia jews kill you!"
- I give it a -999,999,999,999 x 1,000,000,000 out of 10, lol -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 01:48, 22 October 2007 (UTC)
"In Soviet Russia, nazis kill you"!
PUT IN, KAY?
Boydoilovesatan 01:07, 4 November 2007 (UTC) .................plz?
I........really do not know. I was thinking something about him taking up dance in his later years, but I really just wanted it to be in there. Boydoilovesatan 02:55, 7 November 2007 (UTC)
How do you like my image
Is my image good enough to stay, or should I improve it some?
Shutupnoob11 01:02, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
- I dunno. I can't see it. Something is wrong with my browser. :\ --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 01:25, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
The caption under the image at the top of the article is just propaganda-esque POV-pushing. Every armchair expert knows that this is one of thousands of pictures which clearly document Der Führer's battle with incontinence. In fact, "adult diapers" were originally developed by a team of specialists in Germany (though the Latverians hotly dispute this, and often cite, in typically Latverian style, insanely high figures as to the frequency of Dr Doom's bowel movements, claiming that not even Doom could drop that many loads in such a short time and retain a baby-fresh scent without wearing some kind of specialized untergarment). However, the team made no significant breakthroughs until 1944, when the "Geschtankvermeidungspissbeutelunterhosen" (Eng: 'nappy') was released for serial production. A few historians are unanimous that this delay is ultimately what caused Germany to lose WWII.
Where are the fact checkers around here? Sheesh...
Hitler and his dog
Why haven't anyone written someting about Hitler's dog (a femlale german shepherd named Blondi). Apparently Hitler was rather fond of his dog and at a time he spent several weeks alone with her. Just imagine what they did to each other when Eva was not around ;) Wikipedia article about Blondi --18.104.22.168 19:18, 22 November 2007 (UTC)
Thats closely connnected to his love of animals. I will do so, IP user, even if the world will break in pieces. --Polentario 07:48, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
I know Uncyclopedia is supposed to be all about joking around and all that good stuff but, I really don't think Hitler is something you joke about. He is, hands down, one of the worst people on Earth, and this article is way too sympathetic. It needs to undergo some serious changes, and I'm not the only one saying that.
- It appears that template has been deleted. --Mn-z 00:20, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
its very difficult to make fun of something this unpleasant, but in a few places this article manages it. charlie chaplain at least was convinced hitler was someone to be laughed at, and tried to get people doing just that. but as i said, you have to be dead on to get laughs out of something like this, and in a lot of places this article falls flat. the bits about the holocaust, with the train fares and formation of israel particularly were pretty juvenile and unamusing. i know with so many inexpert contributors maintaining quality is very hard, but still, some of this stuff is so far from funny, and even though i have no connection with the events talked about whatsoever, it actually makes me feel somewhat ill to read.
i think hitler was kind-of a butthole
In recent years, archival evidence has been made available showing that Hitler was kind-of a butthole. This evidence should be made available to the uncyclopedia community, so that legitimate researchers have access to the highest-quality research.
Some one put that joke in for me please?
"Your jews. Give them to me. Now!" --Adolf Hitler to Pétain (or anyone else who handed over their jews for that matter) --A SN 20:21, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
I sssuggest to have a link to his animal friend and lover Blondi and as well to insert the line:
'Similar to Michael Jackson, with whom he shares the love of small furry creatures and the will to change the face of the world he decided to marry and get a family man at the end of his career.'--Polentario 08:11, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
- Be bold! Do it! 08:30, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
I have done so concerning blondi. Is it possible to use / insert standard wiki photos here? The Blondi Photos on humorless wikipedia are pathetic - dont need of any editing.
The sentence should be IMHO inserted in the Hitler entry, however that is closed for newbies like me. --Polentario 08:37, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
- Wait a few days, and it will be available. It takes a few days for the system to recognize you as a registered user. 11:40, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
Clack! Wegetreten! I have to be careful with my heels on this page. --Polentario 14:27, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
Who stuck in the “had” and that citation? I liked it better before; it breaks up the whole flow of the thing, and distracts rather than adds to the joke. K.I.S.S., or – um – mach es bitte wieder einfach, Mein Führer! Megalomaniac Martin “The Unfortunately Unfeatured” Ultima • (VOTE FOR ME!) • talk • (AND MY PICS TOO!) • contribs 11:27, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
This was his actual vision:
All Germans with blond hair and blue eyes are the dominant race and should be called Aryans and rule the world. All non-whites, Jews, and retards should die as we make more German space.
Only problem was that Hitler himself was a retard, that was why he killed himself. Hitler killed jews by Apple juice.
Bit at the start
How about putting 'Welcome to the most visited page on the Internet' at the top? Pechark 09:56, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
New imageI have obtained this very funny animation involving hitler:
Can we make it the new main image at the top? Please? --Fusion7 18:58, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
- Well, I hope you don't mind, but I am putting it up anyways. --Fusion7 19:29, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
new quoteCan I put up this new quote at the top please?
“ OMG!!! I am totally gay!!”
Sicilianman 19:20, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
"Hitler the Musical" peice was hilarious...in my opinion!
It seems that every time I use "Springtime for Hitler" on here, it disappears eventually.
Do I really need to make a page about "Springtime for Hitler"?
- It'd be best advised. Edits to this page are carefully monitored. Even if additions are made, and they are funny, there is still a chance that they may be deleted if they are inconsistent with the article's present status (a strong consensus has already been reached on it - when it was featured). --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 20:14, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
Still...I'll just show it....
I can't stop laughing at the banjo image!!
I made a Discovery! Hitler was half-black!
The world-INFamous self-claimed "Aryan master race" master Adolph Hitler is half black. No wonder he seemed angry, furious or self-hating of other races such as himself. You would be too if you're a white racist/Neo-nazi and a quadroon at the same time. +
Globalization gallery entry
I wanna find a picture of Anaheim Ducks' hockey goalie uniform "Hiller #1" and alter the first "l", change it to a "t" and see how well it sells. Just like the Buffalo Sabres' hockey captain uniform "Satan" but had the number "#666" instead. Now go try that and include it with the article's other Hitler-ite images. +
Hitler is a evil German.
Hitler became evil in 1918 after he was suspended for misuse of "Oh,Nooooo!" in Berlin.
Adolf and stalin friends
You may not know but they haved save 500$ on their bills by swearing up and down.Hitler also played halo with stalin and beat him by 34 pts.
Hitler's Art Career
Growing up in the Austria not Germany Adolf would do paintings of the letter "U". Also he did 2 more paintings by scratching paper with his blood.
i don't get it, why is this protected?
and what's wrong with putting the nazi template on the article page? Btzkillerv 19:33, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
This article should be unprotected. NO bureaucrats!!Penubag 03:14, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
- Uncyclopedia:Consensus. Also, this page is obviously a target for an enormity of stupid edits. If you've any ideas for this article, feel free to add them to the talk page. We're not against adding to this article; we just need to be very selective with our edits. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 02:28, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
Only one ball
Someone should write something in this article about Hitler only having one ball 22.214.171.124 21:55, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
- Or have someone write a whole article on that basis. Oh wait... I did!!! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:57, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Hitler Ducky is missing
He is no longer in the article. He has escaped. Who has seen him last? --8-D 10:16, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
Hitler and the trains
Perhaps you can add this? It's like thomas the tank engine, only nazi-related.
Clay men are just like slugs-they have no basis in reality 02:27, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
Adolf Hitler Was A Arse H%%e Due ToThe Fact Of The Jewish Thing
Oh the Amount of jews dead Hide The Evidence.
Well He Killed Too Many Of Them.
Oh the Amount of jews dead Hide The Evidence.
Oh the Amount of jews dead Hide The Evidence.
He Got Fed Up And Thought Oh Well lets Go Rabbit Sun Bathing.
Did anyone mention he was also half-eunuch?
Can somebody get rid of the red links, remove Category:Living people and Category:People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People 2007, and probably get rid of the random succession box? I would do it myself, but I can't edit the article. --Mn-z 18:56, September 15, 2009 (UTC)