Talk:A pizza a day keeps the doctor away
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A bit more formatting work would not go amiss. Submit the article to pee review if you would like more detailed criticism. As for the ICU, it still hangs very much in the balance, I would be tempted to userspace this one to give you longer to work on it, some more coherence and structure to your work would be ideal as it meanders all over the place at the moment and I'm having a hard time identifying a structure that tells me what the article aims to say and what all the sections are trying to accomplish. My advice is pee review, or at the very least a quick look at some of our featured articles to give you an idea of the sort of thing to aim for. Leave the ICU in place for now, get hold of me on my talk page if you want me to take another look for you. -- 11:47, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
- So your job is the judge. I didn't know that, and should have come to you first. I thank you for showing me where to go. All the article says is that a pizza a day keeps the doctor away, but you have to put garlic on the pizza. Then all the things involved talk about it. The doctor even writes a poem. I've read some featured articles and they seem very similar to each other and to this article, just lots of words telling people about something. Some of them make me laugh, others make me think and appreciate them. I wrote this article to just give people a slice of life, and that the old cannard about eating an apple a day will keep the doctor away has some other competition in the form of pizza. But I will follow your ruling and see about a review. Thank you. President Barack Obama 12:00, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Some formatting would do your work wonders, I have had a closer look and there is some good stuff there, perhaps if you arrange things a bit more cohesively your jokes may be plainer initially. Some section headings would work well, change "here's what the doctor thinks" into a heading and you separate the poem from the introduction to the article. Just a suggestion. -- 12:04, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
I'm Italian, and I confirm: a pizza a day keeps the doctor away. But is because the doctor knows the patient will die anyway..