Talk:A Visit with your Psychopathic Grandmother
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edit Review Request
|Humour:||7||Oh, its so there. I'd do it a tad different in areas, but this is good. (See End Notes)|
|Concept:||10||Excellent. I really hope the trend of this kind of article (ie. this one, Kearsy, Ljlego's style of story article, etc.) doesn't spark a wave of crappy imitators..|
|Prose and formatting:||6||Alterations in this will also increase the funny (See End Notes)|
|Images:||8||Funny, very well captioned.|
|Miscellaneous:||9||For the Bobby Fischer pullstring doll. LOL!!|
|Final Score:||40||Very good, and can only get better.|
|Reviewer:||THINKER 20:54, 16 June 2007 (UTC)|
Alright, this article is a classic in the making. To me there is only one real issue:
I think her tone should remain consistently detached and bubbly throughout. The outbursts and cursing are funny, but I think going to subtle route with her would be even funnier. Let Mort do the cursing under his breath; he's the perfect outlet for an external verification of her insanity. Grandma herself should remain happily unaware of how crazy the stuff she's saying really is. Overall, I think the same buoyant-yet-deranged attitude exhibited in the picture captions should remain constant throughout the piece. "Grandma's crazy, but she's the sweetest crazy person you'll ever meet" kinda thing.
A good example: instead of her yelling at Mort when she asks for drinks, I think it'd be funnier if she said something like: "Morty, you don't want to go back in the basement do you? Oh ho, he really hates the basement -- I think mostly due to the fact that when I use cigarettes to burn his arms and chest, the smoke gets trapped and stinks up the whole place, hehe! Ah Mort's an old salty; I always thought the smell of burning flesh was rather pleasant. Just like those cookies-- oh my! I almost forgot to ask you if you'd like some!" or something along those lines.
This piece is very good, and I'm pretty sure that doing a little doctoring would make it shine like the northern lights. If you need any help with editing let me know; its pretty much right up my ally. :) --THINKER 20:54, 16 June 2007 (UTC)
Ahh, my eyes! The neon is burning through my retinas, make it stop! D:
- Mort's dead. Hence the name "Mort" from Latin "mortus", dead. 184.108.40.206 19:25, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
Oooook, y am i mentioned here?, actually it makes me feel special :).-Bobofosho2 19:44, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
edit Almond Odor=Cyanide
The presence of an almond smell usually indicates the presence of Cyanide. Does Goering die because the almonds are rotten or is there Cyanide baked into the cookies?
20:31, September 19, 2009 (UTC)