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edit 1999

An imaginary year Nostradamus predicted the world would end. He was right. That damn Prince song was played in a thousand different places at the same time, causing geologic disturbances. Civilization was destroyed entirely. Imaginiation and reality combined in one huge conflagration. Banana skins? Despite massive anticipation, partying in 1999 was not noticeably better than other previous years.

  • Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999
  • Low unemployment and cheap gas. What more do you want?
  • America no longer deemed to turned into a third world country (But failed to save New Hampshire and Oregon from this horrible fate).
  • Many people were struck with Sudden Blindness Syndrome (SMS) like Paula Abdul and Stephen King. Volcanoes burned everything and Al Gore took over the world. George W. Bush was assassinated by the crab people, who joined Gore as he attempted to destroy everything. Eventually everything but Antarctica was burned and penguins (and Al Gore) became the superior species. The new capital of the world was located in Antarctica City, Antarctica. A few survivors in the United Trees of Al Gore and Canada, brainwashed by the King of Penguins into forgetting the past, ended up drinking beer and partying like it was 1999 until God got mad at King Gore and the penguins and reverted the world to its normal state a week later. Everyone remembered the past before the Apocalypse, but nobody remembered the destroyed world or the penguin empire.
  • This was also the year that an army of undead rose up to take over the world. They were stopped by Richard Simmons.
  • The great fur war ended.
  • The United Trees of Al Gore rename the years 1998 and 1999 to 199IIX in an attempt to stop people from guessing what the next decade would be called.
  • Avid fans of Ray Bradbury, the High Martians inject themselves with deadly chicken pox virus and all die.
  • Also, the Stairway to Heaven was threatened to demolition by Hell's Angels, a wheelchair gang.
  • A wormhole sends images of Jar Jar Binks to the people of earth after the trade Federation Ship blows up.
  • June 18 - Foghorn Leghorn is fried.
  • July 4 - How to do It with a Squirrel is first published.
  • July 9 - Charles Playmobile III, creator of the Playmobile toy line commits suicide.
  • September 9, 1999 (aka 9-9-99) was officially named the official date that all computers would crash, including the one that controls the earth's gyroscope atop the CitiGroup Building, leading to an all out loss of gravity and berevity.
  • It wasn't yet really notable to wear a double-breasted suit.
  • Woodstock 1999 happens and is declared the greatest music show of all time.
  • October 6 - General Juncal of Sercia is killed by a car bomb, marking the end of his 30 year dictatorship.
  • Another Prophet Prediction Comes True, Wayne Gretzky Retires in 1999 as the prophets predicted "He will retire in a year ending with 99".
  • Dick Cheney gets stuck to his kitchen floor.
  • The year August realized he will remain a virgin FOREVER!!!
  • November 25 - Bill Clinton Promises that he will destroy the seed of George Herbert Walker Bush.
  • Carl Panzram dies in a double brested suit. Neopets for me!
  • Pokemon finishes brainwashing the American youth.
  • Al Gore files a patent for a new invention dubbed "The Environment".
  • Lavos rises from the Earth in an attempt to destroy it. Crono and his gang fight him to decide the fate of the Earth. However, the world could not be saved due to Chrono Cross retconning the crap out of the past.
  • Trombones help capture Rome.
  • The Millennium dawns, with conservative religious ladies in retirements homes arising from their coffins [See Underworld set] in time to bitch about us.
  • Y2K Strikes in a couple more seconds! Goodbye computers! Oh nos! 3, 2, 1....

edit 1999.9999999999999999999

  • Computers have 5 glorious seconds of Nunchucking Snowmen, maxin', relaxin', and better yet a full year of vacationin'. Of course they used this time wisely and thought up a plan to fool everybody into thinking it's 2000 and thus creating the year 2000.
  • Condoms invented.
  • The pill invented.
  • Common chav invented.
  • Also, candy invented.
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