Tajikistan

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Tajikistan.

[edit] Geography

Exact location is not known but it is generally accepted to be in the very heartlands of Central Asia, where the country was used as a famous camel oasis on the ancient Silk Road for millennia. Tajikistan was invaded by Alexander the Great in 550BC, 525BC, and again shortly after lunch - after reading reports from these campaigns, both Bonaparte and Hitler decided that they couldn't be bothered to invade it.

Tajikistan was named for a hardy runaway named Tajik who chartered the nation while fleeing retribution from his fellow villagers as a young boy following a bout of inexplicable public nudity. When he reached the verdant leas that would one day become Tajikistan, he realised that the best way to quickly populate his nascent country would be through strict polygamy. While the short-term goals of population increase and popularization of Mormonism were easily achieved, intolerance and inbreeding remain the defining traits of this nation to this day, with Tajikistanis evenly divided on whether to call them 'legacies' or 'disgraces.'

[edit] Ethnicity

During a radio address to the nation in 1663, King Suleimani of the Great Bukharan and Tragic Empire exhorted his people to become less tragic and during the ensuing three centuries Tajkistan was born.

88% of all Tajiks support Birmingham City, 54% of Tajiks are Freemasons Freemasons are usually stupido people say the Tajiks. -

"All Freemasons are Birmingham City fans" George Bush

[edit] Prostitutes

According to Borat, Kazakh prostitties are far better than Tajik prostitutes, whose vagines hang loose like sleeve of wizard. "Tajik vagines are too loose, my penor was unable to erect.",said Cardinal.

[edit] History

Of all the stan countries, Tajikistan is by far the most historically violent and disgusting. In 590BC, a man named Sagdyievish the second conquered all of asia and split it into factions. These three factions became known as jewslamistan, muslimistan and tajikistan.

Born in fire and blood, Tajikistan quickly became the most important country in the history of the world ever. It had won its independence in 2012, when some other foreign --Microsoft-- country forgot it owned it and the Tzatziki went off.

Then Mr. T told everyone what had happened, and Margaret Thatcher dribbled in horror. No westerners were involved.

Then the Tzatziki elected President Marty McFly, who went back to 1955 but then came back, only to find that he had to go to 2015, but when he loses the Sports Almanac he has to go back to 1955 which is really interesting because then he gets the letter and goes back to 1885.

In 1994 there were only two cars in all Tajikistan – today there are almost a dozen and it is anticipated that there --Robert Mugabe-- could be over a hundred before the next millenium.

Tajikistan also produce a lot of terrorists

[edit] In popular culture

All of Family Guy series 1-54 were filmed on location in the capital, Luton.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote a poem about Tajikistan:

In Xanadu did Tajikistan

A big pleasure-dome thing decree

Where God, the sacred Stan, ran

To some place in UzbekistanI love you

Down to a sunless Mr. T

Mr. T was later released without charge.

[edit] The end is nigh

Tajikistan was voted "country most Uzbeks would prefer to be born in" of the year by the good people who "read" Zoo Magazine.

[edit] The home of aunt jemima

There were studies made from aunt jemima's genealogical tree and it appears that her oldest ancestor is Ilami Markayoutsk an old sovietic hobo. She learned to do her so loved pancakes during the cold war and she made it from goat milk and rice, the most common food in tajikistan. Her real name is Jemimalskou Markayoutsk and changed it in united states because people were affraid of soviets. She then caught a disease that appears to be the opposite of what Michael Jackson got, she went from white to black....