Swedish Chef

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Fur thuse-a veethuoot cumedeec testes, zee su-celled-ixperts et Veekipedia hefe-a un erteecle-a ebuoot Svedeesh Cheff. Børk! Børk! Børk!

“Børk! Børk! Børk!”

~ Swedish Chef

“Hees meels gefe-a me-a fuud pueesuning.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Swedish Chef

“I want a restraining order!”

~ Bjork on the chef

“Back in my day, we didn't have any foreigners! We had to make our own food! We walked twelve miles to the grocery store, and we fucking LIKED IT!”

~ Lewis Black on the chef

FeceCheeld meexing hees cuceeene-a.

Zee Svedish Chef (a.k.a. Bob the Swede) ves burn in Suoot Effreeca tu a femeely ooff sterfeeng reffoogees. He-a ves prumptly defuoored by hees lufeeng muzeer und fezeer, und here-a oooor stury inds. Hooefer, by useeng a lerge-a emuoont ooff cumpleeceted... phune-a-leene-a... prucesseeng... ve-a vere-a eble-a tu determeene-a thet iff he-a hed nut beee ietee, ifents vuoold hefe-a pleyed oooot mooch leeke-a thees. Børk!! Børk!! Børk!!

[edit] Efents es Zeey Vuoold Hefe-a Beee Pleyed Oooot

Beffure-a teeme-a, beffure-a Gud, ifee beffure-a zee Beeg Bung, zeere-a ves nutheeng. Ebsulootely nutheeng. I meun, sooch un incredeeble-a emuoont ooff nutheeng, thet hed sumetheeng beee eble-a tu be-a zeere-a, vheech it cuooldn't be-a becoose-a nutheeng ves zeere-a, und iff sumetheeng ves zeere-a, zeen zeere-a vuoold nu lunger hefe-a beee nutheeng zeere-a, zeey'd hefe-a beee oofervhelmed by zee incredeeble-a emuoont ooff nutheeng thet ves soorruoondeeng, pusseebly tu zee pueent ooff selff-indooced repeeng. Børk!! Børk!! Børk!!

[edit] Cooleenery Deleeghts

BJØRK BJØRK BJØRK!!!

Zee Svedeesh Cheff is prubebly best knoon fuur infenteeng, prudooceeng und merketeeng freeed keedney stoo, vheech hes becume-a fery pupooler in zee Elps. Een 1956, shupkeepeeng teebetun moonks, meestekenly theenking it veersa "purete-a stoo", ettecked a Pheelippines feellege-a und peelleged zeeur vhule-a veenter soopply. Muny cley puts vere-a lust in thees tregedy, vheech is noo knoon es zee "Purete-a-Keedney Messecre-a". BØRK!!!

[edit] Ze geme-a

A feemuus qvawte-a of ze Sveedesh Chef: Ze geme-a sawnd leeke-a zees:

VAT HAPPEN ? 
SUUMVANE-A SEHT UUP UUS ZE BAWMB. 
VEE GEHT SEEGNAL. 
VAT? 
MEN SKREEN TUUN AWN. 
KEPTEEN: EET'S YUU!!
SVEEDESH CHEF: HAW ARE-A YUU GEHNTELMEHN?? 
SVEEDESH CHEF: ALL YUUR BØRK AR BEELONG TUU UHS. 
SVEEDESH CHEF: YUU ARE-A AWN ZE WHEY TUU DESTRUUCTYAWN. 
KEPTEEN: VAT YUU SEY !! 
SVEEDESH CHEF: YUU HEVE-A NAW CHAHNSE-A TUU SUURVEEVE-A MEEKE-A YUUR TEEME-A. 
SVEEDESH CHEF: BØRK BØRK BØRK BØRK 
KEPTEEN!
KEPTEEN: TEHKE-A AWF EVEREE 'ZIG'!!
KEPTEEN: YUU KNAW VAT YUU DUUING! 
KEPTEEN: MUUVE-A 'ZIG'. 
KEPTEEN: FAWR GREEAT JUUSTICE.

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