Sweatshop (humanitarian institution)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Orphans?

International Sweatshop Affiliation Logo.

“I'm planning on starting my own.”
~ Angelina Jolie on Sweatshops

A Sweatshop is a privately funded organization dedicated to providing fair wages and healthy working conditions for orphans, minorities and battered women. By providing a positive social environment as well as gainful income for these otherwise destitute individuals, Sweatshops help both local and global economies flourish.[1] Globally hailed as "The Last Great Institution"[2], Sweatshops are creating better lives for families and individuals across the globe.

edit History


Women relaxing happily within the sanctuary of a Sweatshop.

edit Egypt

Sweatshops are known to date back as early as Egyptian times, where wandering warriors would rescue both children and adults from their land and families and let them work for the Egyptians building pyramids. From there the humanitarianism spread east to what is now considered the epicenter of human rights, China.

edit China

For thousands of years, and still to this day, the world has looked to China to provide new testing grounds for the human rights movement.[3] China sets the bar in charitable contribution with 1 in 5 companies hosting a Sweatshop.[4]

edit United States of America

The United States of America has a similar philanthropic history hosting humanitarian institutions such as slavery and the Migrant Worker Program. However, the USA is currently lacking in their contribution to Sweatshops.[5] Greedy Union workers have lobbied officials to ban the Sweatshops in order to keep the work for themselves. Although the Union workers have largely succeeded, many concerned citizens have found ways to provide support to Sweatshops in other countries.

edit Current Support

Despite serious opposition from numerous Corrupt Politicians, Sweatshops exist and are thriving throughout the world. Thanks to high profile supporters, Sweatshops all over the world continue to provide the shelter and care these people so urgently require.[6]

edit US Celebrities

Quite possibly one of the best known Sweatshop supporters is Kathy Lee Gifford. Her willingness to provide for those less fortunate than herself has inspired Sweatshop support throughout the celebrity community. Kathy Ireland soon followed suit, and with assistance from K-Mart started numerous Sweatshop Institutions.

An unlikely but welcome contributor was Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs, a well known white supremacist labor advocate. When asked about his contributions, Sean simply stated, "I feel safe in white because, deep down inside, I'm an angel."[7]

edit Tech Support

The international rights organization known as Tech Support is working diligently to provide many Sweatshop services in poor and underdeveloped countries. Aspiring supporters can call the Tech Support Hotline to speak directly with a Sweatshop worker in a third world country.[8]

edit References

  1. Capitalism: Always looking out for the little guy.
  2. Republicans: Political supporters of Sweatshops.
  3. Tibet: China's proving ground for human rights.
  4. Charity: China practically invented charity.
  5. America: Many Americans are ignorant to the importance of Sweatshops.
  6. Starvation: People in Sweatshops don't starve to death.
  7. The KKK, an international humanitarian organization, supports Sweatshops.
  8. India: Tech Support is the world leader in Indian Sweatshops.

Poo Lit Surprise Logo Poo Lit Surprise-Winning Article
This article was chosen as the Best Noob Article in the 6th Poo Lit Surprise writing competition.
Personal tools