Swaziland

Swaziland is an fictional African country featured in the game called "Africa Sucks". According to the CIA it is located between South Africa and Mozambique. However, George W. Bush is known to say that Swaziland is a brand of beans, sold in the Federated States of Micronesia. But, obviously, this isn't correct. Some well-known Swaziland-cities are Lobamba, Piggs Peak, Big Bend and the capital Mbabane. Also known as Neilville and Kuilenburg City. It was founded by Swiss Nazis called Swazis (a portmanteau of Swiss and Nazi). The first (white) person to ever live in this squatter camp, i mean country, was the infamous Mauby bauxshall-smith. he was a scaly man and used to steal all the towns chickens and eat them with his bare hands.

Two Swazilands are currently in existence, and are fighting for dominance to obtain the name. The other lies in Antarctica. In addition to this, both Swazilands are in a war with the United Plates of Cambodia. Very little is known about the Antarctican Swaziland, for its population is only 11.5. What is known is that they've got some damn good snuff.

Swaziland is also known as "Africa's Switzerland" and tries to copy the Swiss in all ways possible.

[edit] Plot of the country in Africa Sucks

Try to send people to around the world and let people get AIDS!

[edit] Sports

Every year the Swaziland Sport Events are held. The games vary from 'Who can pronounce the capital's name correctly' to 'Who is the first to touch all 46200 Swazi phones'. The Swazis are very good at soccer as well. However, they treat it as basketball. Therefore, the Swazi word for soccer is translated as basketball. Look it up in the Petit Larousse. Their outfits might look funny, but don't say anything about it. They wouldn't understand after all.

The official sport in Swaziland is a "pregnancy race", where competitors have to try and impregnate more virgins than the king, who happens to hold the record with a staggering 300 children and 55 wives. So far, the person who has come the closest is Jacob Zuma, with 274 children and 42 wives.

[edit] Language (or Their Own Version)

In Swaziland, people speak 'English'. At least, that's what they say. It sounds like an African mix between English and the call of an aardvark. Of course, this is caused by their genetic household. As well as the fact that they have a King, who is the King of Swaziland. The concept of a kingdom was stolen from the Greek, but as long as the Greek aren't told so it doesn't matter.

[edit] Tourism

Swaziland is a country that is visited by tourists very often. Especially by visitors from Mozambique who refuse to give up their nomadic lifestyle even though JFK told them to do so. They aren't tourists themselves, so brochures mustn't be translated for them. They wouldn't read it.The national hero is Chad Johnson.

[edit] The Flag

The Swazi flag, called the Swaztica, represents their history. The flag has three horizontal bands of blue (top), red (triple width), and blue; the red band is edged in yellow; centered in the red band is a large black and white shield covering two spears and a staff decorated with feather tassels, all placed horizontally. The colors stand for the colors of the sky in the morning, evening and at noon. The shields represents the shields that their ancestors once made. The spears represent the spears that were used to destroy windmills. They also remind them about Britney Spears, who was born in a place of which the name is pronounced in a way that it sounds like Swaziland, but only if pronounced by people with very serious diseases. Do not confuse them with spears they used to kill animals! The feather tassels are just fashion-items, placed to make the flag look more African.

[edit] Military

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Swaziland.

[edit] The SwaziArmy

The Swazis have a great army, which would have fought as if their lives depended on it, weren't it that the SwaziArmy has never been in war. Swazis are brave as lions and they have the courage of a slug (don't let them fool you: slugs have exceptional courage!).There most memorable battle was with that of the german Sasugegroppen, they fough bravely and lost a close battle to the sheep mounted light infantry of mighty deutschland, the army is known for it's "GREAT" numbers (3 soilders, 1 general to be exact) The Swazis also have a massive zeppelin fleet, to make up for their lack of air force or navy. The Swazis are known to be master zeppelin pilots and as a result, have set world records such as highest elevation reached by a zeppelin (they broke free of earth's atmosphere), fastest zeppelin (broke mach 5), and longest sustained flight by a zeppelin (they took off in 1932 and are still in the air).

[edit] Futurum fearingum

Once the Swazis will take over power in the world. However, it is not necessary to learn Swati, because by the time they'll take over the world, the rest of us are evolved into slobby worm-like swimming creatures, that can attract mermaids with their big meaty claws.

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Countries and territories of Africa

North Africa	Algeria · Egypt · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara
West Africa	Benin · Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Guinea-Bissau · Liberia · Mali · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria · Senegal · Sierra Leone · Togo
Central Africa	Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Gabon · Republic of the Congo
East Africa	Burundi · Djibouti · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Kenya · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Seychelles · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia
Southern Africa	Botswana · Lesotho · Namibia · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand
Dependencies	United Kingdom : Gibraltar · Indian Ocean Territory · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands)