Swaziland

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Perfection Land The Formerly Utopian Swazi Republic The Enslaved Republic of Swaziland
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Where the fuck is Swaziland?"
Anthem: Song of the Dragon Rider
Capital	Neo-Harvenberg
Largest city	Refugee Camp 1138
Official language(s)	Chadainian and German
Government	Slave State
‑ Divine Empress	Divine Empress Matthew Harvey of Chad
National Hero(es)	Divine Empress Matthew Harvey of Chad
Declaration  of Independence	20,000 BCE
Currency	Chadlins
Religion	Empress Worship
Population	1,374,983.5
Major exports	Slave Labor
Major imports	Dictators

Swaziland was a formerly formerly utopian society that had achieved independance around 20,00 BCE. In 2009 it was conquered by The Divine Empire of Chad which marked its beginning as one of many slave states.

Two Swazilands are currently in existence, and are fighting for dominance to obtain the name. The other lies in Antarctica. In addition to this, both Swazilands are in a war with the United Plates of Cambodia. Very little is known about the Antarctican Swaziland, for its population is only 11.5. What is known is that they've got some damn good snuff.

Swaziland is also known as "Africa's Switzerland" and tries to copy the Swiss in all ways possible.

edit Plot of the country in Africa Sucks

Try to send people to around the world and let people get AIDS!

edit Sports

Every year the Swaziland Sport Events are held. The games vary from 'Who can pronounce the capital's name correctly' to 'Who is the first to touch all 46200 Swazi phones'. The Swazis are very good at soccer as well. However, they treat it as basketball. Therefore, the Swazi word for soccer is translated as basketball. Look it up in the Petit Larousse. Their outfits might look funny, but don't say anything about it. They wouldn't understand after all.

The official sport in Swaziland is a "pregnancy race", where competitors have to try and impregnate more virgins than the king, who happens to hold the record with a staggering 300 children and 55 wives. So far, the person who has come the closest is Jacob Zuma, with 274 children and 42 wives, despite alledged showering with Julius Malema.

edit Language (or Their Own Version)

In Swaziland, people speak 'English'. At least, that's what they say. It sounds like an African mix between English and the call of an aardvark. Of course, this is caused by their genetic household. As well as the fact that they have a King, who is the King of Swaziland. The concept of a kingdom was stolen from the Greek, but as long as the Greek aren't told so it doesn't matter.

edit Tourism

Swaziland is a country that is visited by tourists very often. Especially by visitors from Mozambique who refuse to give up their nomadic lifestyle even though JFK told them to do so. They aren't tourists themselves, so brochures mustn't be translated for them. They wouldn't read it.The national hero is Chad Johnson.

edit The Flag

The Swazi flag, called the Swaztica, represents their history. The flag has three horizontal bands of blue (top), red (triple width), and blue; the red band is edged in yellow; centered in the red band is a large black and white shield covering two spears and a staff decorated with feather tassels, all placed horizontally. The colors stand for the colors of the sky in the morning, evening and at noon. The shields represents the shields that their ancestors once made. The spears represent the spears that were used to destroy windmills. They also remind them about Britney Spears, who was born in a place of which the name is pronounced in a way that it sounds like Swaziland, but only if pronounced by people with very serious diseases. Do not confuse them with spears they used to kill animals! The feather tassels are just fashion-items, placed to make the flag look more African.

edit Military

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Swaziland.

edit The Swazi Army

The Swazis have a great army, which would have fought as if their lives depended on it, weren't it that the Swazi Army has never been in a war they weren't defeated depressingly in. Swazis are brave as lions and they have the courage of a slug (don't let them fool you: slugs have exceptional courage!).There most memorable battle was with that of the german Sasugegroppen, they fough bravely and lost a close battle to the sheep mounted light infantry of mighty deutschland, the army is known for it's "GREAT" numbers (3 soilders, 1 general to be exact).

The Swazi Army was incapable of repulsing the Russian Army during the War of Middle-Earth, though historians now speculate that the Swazis could have done so had the commander of the army not been embroiled in a raging harem session for the entire span of the war, an impressive nineteen whole weeks (a record not topped until the emergence of Hugh Hefner from the primordial ooze of the universe's kinkiest whorehouses, over eight hundred years later). The Russians were not without casualties, though: while the Swazis lost over 200% of their armed forces, the Russian Army was forced to abandon their entire supply of Slinkies during the ill-fated winter campaign, something the Russians had never been prepared to fight. Theorists suspect that had the Russians been able to retain these deadly pieces of equipment, they could have easily punched through the fortifications around the Death Star's shield systems in the neighboring nation of Endor and lowered its defenses. This, in turn, would have caused the plotline of the Lord of the Rings trilogy to change entirely, and thus the course of human history would today be unrecognizable.

The Swazis also have a massive zeppelin fleet, to make up for their lack of air force or navy. The Swazis are known to be master zeppelin pilots and as a result, have set world records such as highest elevation reached by a zeppelin (they broke free of earth's atmosphere), fastest zeppelin (broke mach 5), and longest sustained flight by a zeppelin (they took off in 1932 and are still in the air).

edit Futurum fearingum

Once the Swazis will take over power in the world. However, it is not necessary to learn Swati, because by the time they'll take over the world, the rest of us are evolved into slobby worm-like swimming creatures, that can attract mermaids with their big meaty claws.

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Countries, territories and terrorist countries of Africa

North Africa	Algeria · Egypt · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara
West Africa	Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Liberia · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria ·
Central Africa	Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Gabon · Republic of the Congo
East Africa	Burundi · Djibouti · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia
Southern Africa	Botswana · Lesotho  · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand
Dependencies	United Kingdom :  Gibraltar · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands)