Sunn O)))

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
“BWOOM! BWOOM! BWOOOOOOOOOOM!”
~ Sunn O))) on Sunn O)))

Sunn O))) (pronounced Sun; legal name "S☺lar``i*%#@$S ☻ /\/\map) are two musicians that usually play the "drone doom" style of heavy metal. They are generally considered to be the the most skilled guitar-playing entity in the world, writing the most complex riffs, among other things. They discovered the BWOOM effect, which is really damn powerful.

Sunn live

Greg Anderson and Stephen O'Malley seen left and right of the central figure. The other people on stage are devoted followers.

edit Beginnings

Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sunn O))).

Sunn O))) originally started as two ordinary men, named Steve O'Malley and Greg Anderson. They sought to harness the fundamental forces: sex, drugs, and loud noises that go BEU BEU WOMP WOMP which were pioneered in the 1960's. After two decades of deep research and studying, they succeeded in being able to make women orgasm on command and their development of an advanced method of music that called reflected the meaning of life, thus making religion mostly obsolete. The power of loud noises, however, remained untapped by the duo. Though they did develop a distortion technique, their actual ability paled in comparison to Melvins, who never sought world domination and yet achieved it.

Sunn

Greg Anderson and Steve O'Malley have traveled far and wide to spread their influence.

Their godhood would come in due time. After goths grunge punk rock Cliff Burton died, O'Malley and Anderson were the last living true rockers. They were considered to be the "most band ever" in spite of never actually forming a band. Yet for all this, they were no more skilled, and the infinite quantities of talent were hollow and vain to them.

edit The formation of Sunn O)))

So the pair continued to seek powers comparable to those of the hardest rock known the man. In 1998, the pair tried their most ambitious experiment. There are no survivors of this experiment besides them. Historians have been unable to discern the exact experiment, but they think it involves a bunch of Sunn amps, seaborgium, two buildings made of plate glass, and O'Malley and Anderson's guitars. It is rumored that there was explosion so powerful, it made people in outlying areas stop having sex for a few weeks. The only things remaining in their comically small Midwestern town were Anderson and O'Malley, their instruments, and a giant boulder. The amount of rockin' force in the resulting crater was so great that anyone who got near it would have his socks rocked off.

At the turn of the century, a lot of things happened. One of them was that Sunn O))) appeared where the boulder stood. Now, everyone would ordinarily make a pilgrimage to the boulder. On 02/20/2000, Sunn O))) revealed itself to the world.

Near the boulder site, a series of concentric crop circles developed the night before the incident. It is unknown whether these are related.

edit The discovery of the BWOOOM effect

Sunn O))) had great power, but no way to harness it. It was far too powerful for ordinary rock music, so it sought out the most powerful metal musicians on the planet, who are many orders of magnitude more powerful than entire rock bands. This was less fruitful than it hoped. Anderson and O'Malley were challenged by, and forced to duel, numerous musicians for about six and a half minutes before their opponents left the room screaming like little girls.

Having finally realized that there is no force stronger than themselves, Anderson and O'Malley practiced together for a year or two. They found a way to channel their power safely by repeating a descending lyric minor scale nine hundred thousand times in one nanosecond. The sound emitted by its guitar, however, was not the usual shred guitar wankery, but rather a low-pitched "BWOOOM". This was named the BWOO)))M effect because nobody thought of anything better. Every other guitarist in the world dropped dead instantly. The effect was engaged again with an ascending epic minor that brought them all back to life, except for Dimebag Darrel, who remained dead as a nail. Sunn O))) was unanimously declared the greatest band in the world and released their first LP ØØ Void.

edit Musical style

Sunn O)))'s music is typically thought to be very slow and heavy. This is false; though its music is certainly very heavy, it is not slow. In fact, it is faster than most humans can comprehend. What seems to be a note change is actually Sunn O))) slowing down for a brief moment. Those few who do hear the full complexity of its music note that these slow periods are the most emotional thing they have ever heard. They are even capable of making babies cry.

Typically, O'Malley and Anderson organize sermons and worship sections in the form of concerts with devoted followers playing anywhere from three to nine guitars at once plus bass, as well as synthesizers, drums, keyboards, spoken vocals, death growls, glockenspiel, operatic choirs, 1200-piece orchestras, and occasionally a drum soloist. The compositions written for this many instruments, however, are not publicly available, as nobody would be able to recreate them. So Sunn O))) keeps the number of guitars down to two, plus bass.

Sunn O))) plays what is colloquially known as BWOOM Metal, because it relies on the BWOOM effect. It is a fusion of drone doom, noise, dark ambient, and medieval chamber music. Tempo and rhythm are very dynamic, and vary wildly between songs and even phrases in songs.

When playing live, Sunn O))) plays all instruments in real time.

Personal tools
projects