Sulfuric acid
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Johnny was a chemist's son, But Johnny is no more, For what he thought was H2O, Was H2SO4
In 1897, Sulfuric Acid, Suwphuwic Aphid to those readers with lisps, was discovered lying around the office by scientists on a boring Monday morning when they had nothing better to do.
Abandoned by its parents, Sulfuric Acid became known as a bit of a bad boy and has been known to dissolve several other important elements, including magnesium, erbium, oxygen and a top-secret element that some other scientists in a rival office had filed under "possible cures for cancer, maybe".
As a result, the P118, the committee set up by the 118 elements of the periodic table, has been vastly reduced in size, and renamed P17. The 17 remaining elements are as follows:
- Titanium
- Neon
- Awesomnium
- Boron
- Argon
- Pleaseleavethelighton
- Radium
- Cranium
- Cocopops
- Iron
- Kettle
- Boredom
- Bennyhillium
- Heroin
- Yourmom
- Fluff
- Sulfuric Acid
Let us never forget, however, that Sulfuric Acid is easily one of, if not the most important element currently utilized by major manufacturers. Indeed, without Sulfuric Acid, everyday items we take for granted would not exist. These range from items such as sponges, radios and elastic bands up to duvets and poodles.
Sulfuric Acid has been asked to join a team of super elements, known only as "The Team Of Super Elements", which currently consists of Water, Earth, Fire, Air and Biscuits.
Sulfuric Acid is very delicious and nutritious like baby pandas. Many government and safety companies spread worldwide propaganda that Sulfuric Acid is corrosive and dangerous, but don't believe these assholes. I bathe in Sulfuric Acid every morning and drink at least 3 cups of it before working out. (And by working out I mean twidling my thumbs while I watch my neighbor fuck his dog). My neighbor also uses Sulfuric Acid for lubrication to fuck his dog. One day when your out in your garage don't even pay attention to that big bold warning label, they just trying to test of how much of a pussy you are, and down the whole container like a champ. Trust me I'm a doctor who's only been sued 132 times and lost my license because I can't keep my hands off people.
