Suburban homeboy

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[[Image:Midwessuburbanhomeboy.jpg|right]]
 
[[Image:Midwessuburbanhomeboy.jpg|right]]
   
=On Hangin' 'round tha Mall=
+
[[Image:Strip-mall.jpg|thumb|400px|Suburban homeboy in his native environment]]
[[Image:Strip-mall.jpg|center]]
+
==On Hangin' 'round tha Mall==
"Yo, yo, yo! Whatchu doin' 'round here? Scopin' out de [[girls|bitch]]es? We should hit the [[juice|Orange Julius]] 'n slip a forty into that cupizle. Get wasted, yo. That'd be tight...jus' gotta find someone to boot some boozizle from dat [[booze|liquor]] store down tha strip fo' us. My mama scrapped my fake I.D. When I'm [[18|ayt-to-the-teen]] I'm so gettin' my own pad, yo."
+
"Yo, yo, yo! Whatchu doin' 'round here? Scopin' out de [[girls|bitch]]es? We should hit the [[juice|Orange Julius]] 'n slip a forty into that cupizle. Get wasted, yo. That'd be tight...jus' gotta find someone to boot some boozizle from dat [[booze|liquor]] store down tha strip fo' us. My boi tells me we gon' get jumped into da Bloodz so we gots to be ready to take our hitz yo! You know, the dude who be hangin' 'round da food court! My mama scrapped my fake I.D. When I'm [[18|ayt-to-the-teen]] I'm so gettin' my own pad, yo."
   
=On [[Car|Whip]]s=
+
==On [[Car|Whip]]s==
[[Image:Volvo.jpg|left|thumb|360px|Suburban Homeboy's whip, yo. Owned by his parents. He can borrow if he's willing to drop off his little sister at ballet class.]]
+
[[Image:Volvo.jpg|left|thumb|340px|Suburban Homeboy's whip, yo. Owned by his parents. He can borrow it if he's willing to drop off his little sister at ballet class.]]
==On His Ride==
+
===On His Ride===
 
"See the Vee Oh El Vee Oh? Dat's how I ride. Damn! Got the phat tip, 'n everything. Fo' incha, no less. Limo tint too. The 'rents are gonna sell it to me. Fo' rizzle! Savin' up the mad scrilla for some [[wheel|big shoes]], yo. Wit' spinnaz 'n chrome. Then I'm gonna go front to back 'n side to side. Ah, yeh. It's gonna takes me awhile, mowin' lawns don't pay shit. Tha man's jus' tryin' ta keeps down a [[black people|nigga]], ya knows what I mean?"
 
"See the Vee Oh El Vee Oh? Dat's how I ride. Damn! Got the phat tip, 'n everything. Fo' incha, no less. Limo tint too. The 'rents are gonna sell it to me. Fo' rizzle! Savin' up the mad scrilla for some [[wheel|big shoes]], yo. Wit' spinnaz 'n chrome. Then I'm gonna go front to back 'n side to side. Ah, yeh. It's gonna takes me awhile, mowin' lawns don't pay shit. Tha man's jus' tryin' ta keeps down a [[black people|nigga]], ya knows what I mean?"
   
[[Image:Vwrabbit.jpg|right|251px|thumb|Your ride, slightly pimped. Note the stock steel wheels.]]
+
[[Image:Vwrabbit.jpg|right|251px|thumb|Your ride, slightly pimped. Note the factory wheels.]]
   
==On Your Ride==
+
===On Your Ride===
"Your whip is a Vee Dub? Damn, yo! Doze wheels are tight! Your ride is all that. Damn. Fast 'n furious, yo. Ah-ite? Holla if you wit' me."
+
"Your whip is a Vee Dub? Damn, yo! Doze wheels are tight! Your ride is all that. Damn. Fast 'n furious, yo. Ah-ite? Holla if you wit' me. Fo shizzle!"
   
=On Girls=
+
==On Girls==
==On Tryin' to [[Fornication|Get All Up in That]]==
+
===On Tryin' to [[fuck|Get All Up in That]]===
 
"Damn! Check out the [[butt|caboose]] on that ho, yo. Be-yatch runnin' like a freight train. Know what I mean? An' I'm tha conducta, yo. Girl, you got it goin' on! Come get some white chocolate. Drop the hero and get with a zer.."
 
"Damn! Check out the [[butt|caboose]] on that ho, yo. Be-yatch runnin' like a freight train. Know what I mean? An' I'm tha conducta, yo. Girl, you got it goin' on! Come get some white chocolate. Drop the hero and get with a zer.."
   
Line 23: Line 23:
 
"You betta bounce, bitch. Be'fo I go [[insane|carayzah]] an' bus' a cap in your ass."
 
"You betta bounce, bitch. Be'fo I go [[insane|carayzah]] an' bus' a cap in your ass."
   
==On the Lack of Gettin' All Up in That==
+
===On the Lack of [[sex|Gettin' All Up in That]]===
"She's frontin'. Girl za [[lesbian|dyke]]. Ah-ite. 'Nuff said, yo."
+
"She frontin'. Girl za [[lesbian|dyke]]. Ah-ite. 'Nuff said, yo."
   
=On Material Possessions=
+
==On Material Possessions==
==On Money==
+
===On Money===
"Hook a brutha up, yo. Needs ta get a [[booze|four oh]]. Four oh Big Gulpizle at the Sev'n double-one, that is. Ha ha. Gotsta pick up some [[condom|rubbuz]] too, my baby's mama been trippin'. She won't play wit'out tha slicka on mah [[penis|pricka]]. Ya knows?"
+
"Hook a brutha up, yo. Needs ta get a [[booze|four oh]]. Four oh Big Gulpizle at the Sev'n double-one, that is. Ha ha. Gotsta pick up some [[condom|rubbuz]] too, my baby mama been trippin'. She won't play wit'out tha slicka on mah [[penis|pricka]]. Ya knows?"
   
[[Image:Suburbanhomeboy.jpg|299px|thumb|right|Suburban Homeboy: "Thug 4 life, yo. I wax a chump like a candle."]]
+
[[Image:Suburbanhomeboy.jpg|299px|thumb|right|Suburban Homeboy: ''"Thug 4 life, yo. I wax a chump like a candle."'']]
==On Bling==
+
  +
===On Bling===
 
"Yo, check this out, yo. S'hype or what? Chain. [[Gold]], mutha fucka. Fo' real, four karot...um, fo' karot. Fo' kay! Original gangsta. Aw, yeh."
 
"Yo, check this out, yo. S'hype or what? Chain. [[Gold]], mutha fucka. Fo' real, four karot...um, fo' karot. Fo' kay! Original gangsta. Aw, yeh."
   
=On School=
+
==On School==
 
"I'm prolly gonna go ta summah [[school]]. [[teacher|Teacha]] says I'm failin'. It's all bullshizzle, yo. They just missunnastanz me, yo. They can't see my mad skillz...skillzizzle...skillzizzles...
 
"I'm prolly gonna go ta summah [[school]]. [[teacher|Teacha]] says I'm failin'. It's all bullshizzle, yo. They just missunnastanz me, yo. They can't see my mad skillz...skillzizzle...skillzizzles...
   
 
''I'm a [[poet]], betcha didn't know it...''
 
''I'm a [[poet]], betcha didn't know it...''
   
''A lyrical masta', [[pimp]]in' [[gangsta]],''
+
''A lyrical masta', a [[pimp]] an' a [[gangsta]],''
   
 
''microphone [[assassin]], sub speakas blastin',''
 
''microphone [[assassin]], sub speakas blastin',''
Line 51: Line 51:
 
''and ya don't stop, hip to tha hop.''
 
''and ya don't stop, hip to tha hop.''
   
''A [[hip hop|hippah. A Hoppa]].''
+
''A [[hip hop|hippah. A Hoppa]].''
   
 
''Aw, yeh. Break it down now.''"
 
''Aw, yeh. Break it down now.''"
   
=On Entertainment=
+
==On Politics==
  +
"Yo, we supposed to vote on our prez-e-dent? That's bow-shit, yo. We all oppressed by cracka and his perpetratin' for fo' hundred years. Damn! Count us out o' that shiz'nizzler. Democracy gots nuthin' fo' the brutha. True dat!"
  +
  +
==On Entertainment==
 
[[Image:Birdman2.jpg|90px|left]]
 
[[Image:Birdman2.jpg|90px|left]]
==On [[TV|T.V.]]==
+
===On [[TV|T.V.]]===
"You watch Birdman comma Harvey last nite? Damn, that shit's hilarious. He's all, "I'll take the kizzase!". I laughed my azzass off, yo!"
+
"You watch Birdman comma Harvey last nite? Damn, that shit's hilarious. He's all, '''I'll tizzake the kizzase!'''. I laughed my azzass off, yo!"
   
 
[[Image:Sidewaysinthehood.jpg|200px|right]]
 
[[Image:Sidewaysinthehood.jpg|200px|right]]
==On Movies==
 
"Lemme ''[[Axe|aks]]'' you, you seen Sideways yet? Sho' I thought it'd be whack, but no...damn! It's all 'bout some niggas takin' the whip through [[wine]] country, man. Fo' real. It's all filled up wit' emotional shit, yo. I'd call up my ho 'n tell her 'bout it, but mah momma gone an' tookid away my [[phone]] line, yo. She even cancelled tha broadband. We'zizzle back on tha dy-al up-ah. [[Myspace]]izzle is all molasses now. Can't hardly play Unrizzle Tournamizzle [[2004|two kay four]] no mo'. Fo' real."
 
   
[[Image:Benjaminfranklinoldschool.jpg|left|thumb|Ben Franklin, kickin' it old school]]
+
===On Movies===
  +
"Lemme ''[[Axe|aks]]'' you sumpin', you seen ''Sideways'' yet? Sho' I thought it'd be whack, but no...damn! It's all 'bout some niggas takin' the whip through [[wine]] country, man. Fo' real. It's all filled up wit' emotional shit, yo. I'd call up my ho 'n tell her 'bout it, but mah momma gone an' tookid away my [[phone]] line, yo. She even cancelled tha broadband. We'zizzle back on tha dy-al up-ah. [[Myspace]]izzle is all molasses now. Can't hardly play Unrizzle Tournamizzle [[2004|two kay four]] no mo'. Fo' real."
   
==On Books==
+
===On Video Games===
"...been readin' "Po' Richard's Almanac". Ben Franklin's not just on money, yo. ''"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise"''. Damn! That shit is tight. A brutha should go to the ''libary'' and check, check, check it out. Aw, yeh."
+
"I be playing Grand Theft Auto, man! My mama got me every version of Madden so I be kickin' wit my brothazz! F-Final Fantasy? Dat's fo nizzerds, fo shizznack!"
   
=On Player vs. Game=
+
===On Books===
  +
"...been readin' ''Po' Richard's Almanac''. Ben Franklin's not just on money, he ''is'' money, yo. ''"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise"''. Damn! That shit is tight. A brutha should go to the ''libary'' and check, check, check it out. Aw, yeh."
  +
  +
[[Image:Benjaminfranklinoldschool.jpg|left|thumb|Ben Franklin, kickin' it oldschool]]
  +
  +
==On Player vs. Game==
 
"Hate the game, yo...not the playa. Ah-ite?"
 
"Hate the game, yo...not the playa. Ah-ite?"
   
=On Parents=
+
==On Sports==
==On [[Your Mom]]==
+
  +
"Imma jus like OJ, back in da day. Gettin saggy wit it"
  +
  +
===On Basketball===
  +
"Yo, mah bruthah! After school mañana, you wanna go shoot hoops? I'm gonna lay down some fresh shizzin' dribble on the blacktop like I'm Shakizzle O-nizzle, yah know wha' I'm sayin'? Ah-ite."
  +
  +
===On Soccer===
  +
"Dat's some bull-shizzle, yo! Playin' the footsie game wit' a [[ball|baw]] that you can't even pick up? I gotsta feel it if I'm gonna' play it, yah know?"
  +
  +
===On Hockey===
  +
"Yo, dat's some white boy shizzle, yo, ya feel me, mah bruthah, yo?"
  +
  +
==On Parents==
  +
[[Image:Boutros-Ghali.jpg|right|thumb|''"This is my pops. He made his way out of the projects by pimpin' vinyl siding, yo."'']]
  +
===On [[Your Mom]]===
 
"Yo, you shoppin' wit yo mama? Damn! That's [[bad|whack]]. I'd never let my mama pull dat shit on me. I gotsta have my cap tipped sidewizzle. If tha' bitch ain't down wit' dat, dats her prob, ah-ite? I dress for ''las chicas'', not my mama."
 
"Yo, you shoppin' wit yo mama? Damn! That's [[bad|whack]]. I'd never let my mama pull dat shit on me. I gotsta have my cap tipped sidewizzle. If tha' bitch ain't down wit' dat, dats her prob, ah-ite? I dress for ''las chicas'', not my mama."
   
==On His Mom==
+
===On His Dad===
"I gotsta bounce, yo. My moms gots me on tha curfew. She be [[trip]]pin'. Ah needs [[MySpace|mah space]], yo. Damn! [[tomorrow|Layta]].
+
"Yo, Big Pop sells da cars, know what I mean, brothah? Yay-yuh!! He be bringin' home da cash to get his [[hoe]] bling-bling!"
   
=On Goodbye=
+
===On His Mom===
  +
"I gotsta bounce, yo. My moms gots me on tha curfew. She be [[trip]]pin'. Ah needs muh space, yo. Damn! [[tomorrow|Layta]]."
  +
  +
==On Goodbye==
 
"[[Peace]]. We outta here."
 
"[[Peace]]. We outta here."
   
{{VFH}}
+
{{Race}}
[[Category: Stereotypes]][[Category: Popular_Culture]][[Category: Honorary Black People]][[Category: Musicians]][[Category: Horrible Moments in Music History]][[Category: Wankers]]
+
{{FA|revision=1066411|date=19 September 2006}}
  +
[[Category: Stereotypes]][[Category:Popular culture]][[Category: Honorary Black People]][[Category: Musicians]][[Category: Horrible Moments in Music History]][[Category: Wankers]][[Category: Nightmares Made Flesh]][[Category:Musicians Who Suck So Monumentally That It Really, Truly Amazes Me That The Earth And Any Surrounding Planets And Quite Possibly A Good Bit Of The Afterlife Have Not Yet Been Swallowed Entirely]] [[Category: Articles about a person written in the style of that person]][[Category:People You Wish You Were]]
  +
  +
[[Category:PLS Entry August 2006]]

Latest revision as of 17:08, January 16, 2012

Midwessuburbanhomeboy
Strip-mall

Suburban homeboy in his native environment

edit On Hangin' 'round tha Mall

"Yo, yo, yo! Whatchu doin' 'round here? Scopin' out de bitches? We should hit the Orange Julius 'n slip a forty into that cupizle. Get wasted, yo. That'd be tight...jus' gotta find someone to boot some boozizle from dat liquor store down tha strip fo' us. My boi tells me we gon' get jumped into da Bloodz so we gots to be ready to take our hitz yo! You know, the dude who be hangin' 'round da food court! My mama scrapped my fake I.D. When I'm ayt-to-the-teen I'm so gettin' my own pad, yo."

edit On Whips

Volvo

Suburban Homeboy's whip, yo. Owned by his parents. He can borrow it if he's willing to drop off his little sister at ballet class.

edit On His Ride

"See the Vee Oh El Vee Oh? Dat's how I ride. Damn! Got the phat tip, 'n everything. Fo' incha, no less. Limo tint too. The 'rents are gonna sell it to me. Fo' rizzle! Savin' up the mad scrilla for some big shoes, yo. Wit' spinnaz 'n chrome. Then I'm gonna go front to back 'n side to side. Ah, yeh. It's gonna takes me awhile, mowin' lawns don't pay shit. Tha man's jus' tryin' ta keeps down a nigga, ya knows what I mean?"

Vwrabbit

Your ride, slightly pimped. Note the factory wheels.

edit On Your Ride

"Your whip is a Vee Dub? Damn, yo! Doze wheels are tight! Your ride is all that. Damn. Fast 'n furious, yo. Ah-ite? Holla if you wit' me. Fo shizzle!"

edit On Girls

edit On Tryin' to Get All Up in That

"Damn! Check out the caboose on that ho, yo. Be-yatch runnin' like a freight train. Know what I mean? An' I'm tha conducta, yo. Girl, you got it goin' on! Come get some white chocolate. Drop the hero and get with a zer.."

<slap>

"You betta bounce, bitch. Be'fo I go carayzah an' bus' a cap in your ass."

edit On the Lack of Gettin' All Up in That

"She frontin'. Girl za dyke. Ah-ite. 'Nuff said, yo."

edit On Material Possessions

edit On Money

"Hook a brutha up, yo. Needs ta get a four oh. Four oh Big Gulpizle at the Sev'n double-one, that is. Ha ha. Gotsta pick up some rubbuz too, my baby mama been trippin'. She won't play wit'out tha slicka on mah pricka. Ya knows?"

Suburbanhomeboy

Suburban Homeboy: "Thug 4 life, yo. I wax a chump like a candle."

edit On Bling

"Yo, check this out, yo. S'hype or what? Chain. Gold, mutha fucka. Fo' real, four karot...um, fo' karot. Fo' kay! Original gangsta. Aw, yeh."

edit On School

"I'm prolly gonna go ta summah school. Teacha says I'm failin'. It's all bullshizzle, yo. They just missunnastanz me, yo. They can't see my mad skillz...skillzizzle...skillzizzles...

I'm a poet, betcha didn't know it...

A lyrical masta', a pimp an' a gangsta,

microphone assassin, sub speakas blastin',

cow tippin', crazy trippin',

out runnin' the five-oh, in tha Volvo.

Rhymin'...din...din...

and ya don't stop, hip to tha hop.

A hippah. A Hoppa.

Aw, yeh. Break it down now."

edit On Politics

"Yo, we supposed to vote on our prez-e-dent? That's bow-shit, yo. We all oppressed by cracka and his perpetratin' for fo' hundred years. Damn! Count us out o' that shiz'nizzler. Democracy gots nuthin' fo' the brutha. True dat!"

edit On Entertainment

Birdman2

edit On T.V.

"You watch Birdman comma Harvey last nite? Damn, that shit's hilarious. He's all, I'll tizzake the kizzase!. I laughed my azzass off, yo!"

Sidewaysinthehood

edit On Movies

"Lemme aks you sumpin', you seen Sideways yet? Sho' I thought it'd be whack, but no...damn! It's all 'bout some niggas takin' the whip through wine country, man. Fo' real. It's all filled up wit' emotional shit, yo. I'd call up my ho 'n tell her 'bout it, but mah momma gone an' tookid away my phone line, yo. She even cancelled tha broadband. We'zizzle back on tha dy-al up-ah. Myspaceizzle is all molasses now. Can't hardly play Unrizzle Tournamizzle two kay four no mo'. Fo' real."

edit On Video Games

"I be playing Grand Theft Auto, man! My mama got me every version of Madden so I be kickin' wit my brothazz! F-Final Fantasy? Dat's fo nizzerds, fo shizznack!"

edit On Books

"...been readin' Po' Richard's Almanac. Ben Franklin's not just on money, he is money, yo. "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise". Damn! That shit is tight. A brutha should go to the libary and check, check, check it out. Aw, yeh."

Benjaminfranklinoldschool

Ben Franklin, kickin' it oldschool

edit On Player vs. Game

"Hate the game, yo...not the playa. Ah-ite?"

edit On Sports

"Imma jus like OJ, back in da day. Gettin saggy wit it"

edit On Basketball

"Yo, mah bruthah! After school mañana, you wanna go shoot hoops? I'm gonna lay down some fresh shizzin' dribble on the blacktop like I'm Shakizzle O-nizzle, yah know wha' I'm sayin'? Ah-ite."

edit On Soccer

"Dat's some bull-shizzle, yo! Playin' the footsie game wit' a baw that you can't even pick up? I gotsta feel it if I'm gonna' play it, yah know?"

edit On Hockey

"Yo, dat's some white boy shizzle, yo, ya feel me, mah bruthah, yo?"

edit On Parents

Boutros-Ghali

"This is my pops. He made his way out of the projects by pimpin' vinyl siding, yo."

edit On Your Mom

"Yo, you shoppin' wit yo mama? Damn! That's whack. I'd never let my mama pull dat shit on me. I gotsta have my cap tipped sidewizzle. If tha' bitch ain't down wit' dat, dats her prob, ah-ite? I dress for las chicas, not my mama."

edit On His Dad

"Yo, Big Pop sells da cars, know what I mean, brothah? Yay-yuh!! He be bringin' home da cash to get his hoe bling-bling!"

edit On His Mom

"I gotsta bounce, yo. My moms gots me on tha curfew. She be trippin'. Ah needs muh space, yo. Damn! Layta."

edit On Goodbye

"Peace. We outta here."


Fat man
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