Stupid music
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Stupid Music, not to be confused with "good music", is a certain type of music which is legal in every country around the planet, even though it sucks serious cock. Stupid (or: "bad") music often involves German people, polkarap, girls who won't dance but actually sing, and yes, tons of tons of beer. Stupid music was found in the mid 18th century after Johann Sebastian Bach stated that his music was to be referred to as "good". Johann Sebastian Bach was kinda popular these days, so everyone obeyed him and declared all other forms of sound as being Stupid music ("Scheissmusik", translated as Stupid music in the 2001 dub of Bach & Beethoven: A love tale.). At this moment, most people started listening to Stupid music, from approximately 0 listeners in 1739, to 4.000.000 in 1741.
After the success of Stupid music and the death of Bach in 1750, people realized they were all listening to the so-called Stupid music. They felt bad about this and started a protest in front of the White House. This wouldn't work because the US was still to be founded, so they waited for another 26 years, listening to Stupid music, which drove nearly 300.000 people to committing suicide. Ultimately the first president of the US, George Washington, decided all music from that day on (4th of July, 1776) would be officially approved "good music".
Of course, only Americans agreed, since the other countries didn't wanna show they would ever obey American laws (except the UK, that is). Therefore, Americans from now on listened solely to good music, while in other parts of the world Stupid music remained.
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[edit] Modern History of Stupid music
In modern history, many have argued about the value of Stupid music, and the qualification of the word itself. For example, in 1998, 2,3 million people dotted Hyde Park in London to let the world know they were not content with Mariah Carey, and they thought even though she was American, she made music too close to Great music is to be called great. In 1999 Bill Clinton decided it should be possible to call American music stupid, which meant also the main reason the democrats lost the presidential election some years later. The decision of Clinton was a revolutionary moment in Stupid music. It caused other countries to think it could be a good idea to call their own music good, for it would sell better in the US. This way, many foreign artists started selling millions of albums in the US, which eventually led to the succes of, for example, Shakira.
[edit] Stupid music and it's direct reference to Japan
One of the leading J-Pop artists in Japan is Hikaru Utada. The Japanese call her Utada Hikaru, which is wrong, since Utada was born in New York and therefore has her given name as a first name. Utada was one of the many artists who were thought to make Stupid music even though they were American. Utada, smart as she was, set out to start a new career in her actual homecountry, Japan. In Japan til this day Stupid music is loved by every single individual, which made Hikaru Utada one of the biggest artists ever in Japan. Many young Stupid musicians followed Utada, which now explains why Japanese music is for people with good music tastes.
[edit] Examples of Stupid Music in the modern world
- 50 Cent
- The Acacia Strain (post-2003)
- Backstreet Boys
- New Kids on the Block
- High School Musical
- Rap
- Me, You, And The Other Two
- Scissor Sisters
- My Chemical Romance
- Nickelback
- Puddle of Mud
- American Idol
- Jonas Brothers
