Stupid
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Stupid is a disease that has been plaguing society for many millenia. It has gotten to such people as Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and Hilary Clinton. From the special children born ass end first to people with blonde hair, stupid is now far more lethal then the AIDS virus. Cases of stupid have been reported all around the globe, though in other parts of the globe nothing has been reported because people can't read. The 'stupid' gene, the gene which the disease targets, has been known to be vastly more attracted to these certain social groups: Scientologists, Hippies, the creators of Family Guy, Conan O' Brian, blondes, and many more. Basically, any person involved in any form of religion is a carrier of the stupid gene.
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[edit] The History Of Stupidity
Stupidity has been around since the dinosaurs. Seriously, they look up at the sky and go 'uuuuu pretty meteor' and fuckin bang! they're extinct. The only dinosaurs to not contract this disease were crocodiles, as they have an immunity and hatred towards stupidity (hence their love of eating asian tourists). The evidence of the disease is also present in the hyroglyphics of the ancient Egyptians, as many had contracted the disease and were unable to walk in the third dimension.
[edit] I'm guessing you're stupid then?
Well, to be honest, yes. With the rate of inbreeding in today's society there seems to be no way to stop this plague of stupidity. Paris Hilton, as a matter of fact, is a carrier. Think of Typhoid Mary only she's carrying stupid and lots of it. The fact people like her can become famous for downing a cock proves the existence of stupid sufficiently enough for all of us to be scared. Especially anyone who comes within a 1000 mile radius of her. The Notable Tanner Statham was well known for being the first to actually bring a spoon to the Super Bowl.
[edit] Spotting an 'infected'
They are not hard to find. They'll usually be reading gossip magazines about how awesome Robert Pattison is, or investing into the church of Scientology. Other ways to spot an 'infected' is to look for any person running Windows on their PC, any person who talks about celebrities, any person with their hat backwards (See 'Fred Durst'), Iranians, anyone whose sister is also their wife, anyone whose wardrobe includes knock-off Burberry, and anyone who voted George W Bush into the White House (particularly since this happened TWICE).
DO NOT GET INTO DISCUSSIONS WITH THE INFECTED! Due to the nature of the disease, discussions with the infected will often involve topics such as bananas, chickens, or how smart the president is. Stupid people will often spontaneously combust. Seriously, it happened to a friend of mine. I mentioned a book I was reading and BANG!!! You only learn that lesson once. To add, stupid people don't understand all caps. Also, the stupids have been known to spontaneously combust if you make literal use of modern day sayings. For example, the statement "I didn't end up going on the date tonight cause the other person had cold feet," coupled with the response "Well you should've bought them some socks," would cause the infected's head to explode from trying to process too much information.
[edit] Prevention
There is a way to prevent yourself from becoming stupid. Scientists have been working on a cure since 1921 in the 'Diputs labratory' located somewhere in Antarctica. It was rumoured they had discovered the cure, but unfortunately German backpackers visited their labratory and the scientists caught the disease, and the scientists therefore decided to make epic joints using their research as the papers. They got really high. Too bad we're all going to become stupid. Fucking assholes. However it is rumoured that another group had also been working on a cure...
[edit] UASTOEP
It is rumoured that in the world today, there are those looking for a cure. The Ultimate Anti-Stupid Team Of Extraordinary People (UASTOEP), consisting of Pamela Anderson,Your Mother, Bill Gates and Cesar Milan were rumoured to be creating a cure to the disease. They were creating revolutionary concepts to try and stop the stupid. Pamela Anderson tried by making people watch Baywatch, which made men focus on tits rather than anything else. It's purpose was to keep the stupids at bay, however all it did was cause more simultaneous erections then a worldwide orgy. Bill Gates tried to counter stupid with stupidity by creating an OS incapable of performing the most simple tasks. It didn't work either. The counter to stupidity I mean, the OS is actually incapable of performing the most simplest of tasks. Cesar Milan tried teaching the 'uninfected' to be dominant towards the stupids. It did nothing because the 'stupids' were incapable of deciphering the man's harsh Mexican accent, and the normals had no idea whether he was homosexual or just had a dog fetish...or both. But with their powers combined, they created a program that had dogs with titties on computers. It did nothing. Literally. Because Windows crashed. At least one of their ideas worked. But we're still cowering from stupidity. Fucking assholes.
[edit] The Seth MacFarlane Theory
Apparently there is a way to become so stupid that your body goes full circle and rejects the disease. Seth MacFarlane had inadvertantly found this cure by creating an animated series that dilutes all intelligence from the mind and makes it come out the viewers anus within a period of 23.657 hours. This show was called Family Guy. After airing several seasons, countries with TV's have now shown a decreasing level of stupidity, due to the Seth MacFarlane theory of going full circle. Other theories are that people could not stand to watch such crap on their TV that they decided to gather large amounts of cinder blocks to destroy as many TV's as possible so the show would get cancelled. They succeeded...for a few years. Fox then restored the series, inadvertantly beginning to cure stupid once again.
[edit] But is it over?
The main question on everyone's minds is: what will happen after Family Guy? Surely there is no show that can possibly equate to the amount of mental diarrhea that is presented in every single microsecond of that show, is there? If such a show existed, wouldn't it cause the world to collapse on itself as the stupidity of the show would cause reality to bend and twirl into a portal of non-existence? No it wouldn't. It'd just be a replica called American Dad.
