Stupid
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They may even work at Focus on the Family, be a hard-working farmer, or, worse, be an unelected conservative activist judge.
For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Kos.
(Psst. He's probably also a Nazi; quick! Play the race card!)
“Isn't that the guy who plays Sylar from Lost?”
~ Stupid person on being stupid
“What's Stupidity?”
~ Captain Oblivious on being stupid
“Stupidity is when someone does something stupid.”
~ Captain Obvious on being stupid
For the real word supposed to be used go to : Stupit
Stupid people come in many different shapes, colours and sizes. Variety too. You have the 'Moderately Funny' Stupid people. These are peple who are so stupid they will do hilaious stuff without really knowing. Then there are 'Worn out from being smart' stupid people. This means they were top of the grades 20 years ago but over time the Stupid People have grown in number and brang these people to their level. Then you have the 'Born' Stupid People. These people have been thinking "2 + 2 = Ballerinas?" Ever since the second they watched Barney. 'Retarded' Stupid People are very similar to Moderately Funny, as the are retarded, demented, belivers that Pi = 8.02898236913638756 and x always means 14. All of the above take up only 87% of us, so we better make good use of them(a.k.a using them as defence in war, testing once-unsafe buildings and sending them to Clown College to turn them into evil elephants)while we still can!
The following I had to edit to the above:
Stupidity is the term for people with an IQ, or Intelligence Quotient, of less than -90. For example, the person who wrote this article before I edited it said the following:
Stupid people pretty much rule the world, with a piece of pie. The world is full of them, and they are an inescapable part of life, along with rainbows and poop. The rest of us just have to deal with them. There are many types of stupid people in the world, and if you look closely you may even see them in your own life. For example, there are the people who live to screw up the life of others as they are too stupid to make their own better. They go into life sad and come out horny. These are medium-level stupid people. There are the low-level stupid people: people who are harmless in their stupidity such as those who write long pointless emails to important (though sometimes equally stupid) people oof rank talking about their personal problems like Aunt Bertha's goiter. Then there are high-level stupid people, such as mass murderers, George Bush, Stalin and Hitler...or "smart" but stupid people, such as corrupt tryannical dictators, like Bill Clinton, Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong Il.
We have to face it, we are surrounded by morons and it is only a matter of degree.
Contents |
[edit] The History Of Stupidity
Evidence of ancient stupidity has been found in the cave paintings on the banks of the Tigris and Missouri rivers in Missouri. In an attempt to throw you off course, we will now start talking about the stupid paintings because of your ignorance. In these paintings, we see young warriors being slain by their enemies, having ridden into battle wielding little more than swords fashioned from rolled-up papyrus (this was at a time when bronze swords were all the rage). In recent years though, experts are now uncertain whether such forms of stupidity could have existed at a time so long before the clergy first appeared. (WTF?) But the most ancient stupidity of all is considered by 17 out of 23 deceased radio-show writers to be the creation of the universe, which made a lot of people very angry and was widely regarded as a bad idea. This stupidity could only be a symptom of common boredom.
Entire states in the United States of America have also been found to be, on average, stupid. These states are: Kansas, Nebraska, Arizona, Nevada, Indiana, Tennessee, North Carolina, West Virginia, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, New Mexico, North Dakota, Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, Montana, Oklahoma, South Dakota, South Carolina, Wyoming, Idaho, Utah and Mississippi. That's 23 stupid states for those of you who are too stupid to count. It must be noted that well over 90% of these states voted for the Emperor of Stupidity whose IQ has been found to be less than that of a lemon.
[edit] WTF is that about?
Other evidence of stupidity has also been discovered from the dark ages, in which the Domesday Book records that peasants and nobles alike shall go forth and work the land for 60 head of cattle per day. Historians agree that this indeed was stupid at a time when the bartering system had not even been invented yet. The Bayeux Tapestry, also clearly shows King Henry the Eighth, paying his first wife, Elizabeth the First, buff up his shoe leather.
By the year 2011 the world entered the fifth phase of greelack and cream puffs and chickens with chocolate ruled the world with a rubber fist.
[edit] The Mathematics of Stupidity
Stupid people often come from other stupid people. Just like smart people come from smart people. We will call the stupid person X, so when X mixes with X you natrually, these being stupid people, get X, another stupid person. To avoid this, stupid people should have sex with animals that are dumber than they are, if its too hard to find one, I guess a smarter animal would be OK. "Dogs generally work, male or female, but if nothing occurs a cow runs a close second"
Now you may ask, "What about a stupid person and a smart person?" Well...lets make the smart person * and the stupid person is still X. Now when * combines with X you get an impossible equation so the child is a deformed mutant freak. After years of mistreatment, the child is then sacrificed by Aliens. This creates a time vortex allowing all stupid people to enter. This follows the unexplained law of "x = 23". Scientists researching this mysterious formula have been inconclusive to any results. John Wilbang, a well spoken and intelligent member of the research team "UBER CREW", said that "This particular formula is so complex and involves many procedures of irrational thinking".
[edit] The Hawking Scale of Stupidity
Stephen Hawking, in order for scientists to better understand and possibly find a cure for stupidity, invented the "Hawking Scale of Stupidity", which lists the 10 levels of stupidity and gives certain levels of stupidity to stupid people, such as "That person has the stupidity level of the TV show 'Lost'", or "That person has the stupidity level of the Nintendo character Luigi".
Luigi: The first level of stupidity.
Lost (TV Series): The second level of stupidity.
Television: The third level of stupidity.
A cell phone: The fourth level of stupidity.
A cereal mascot: The fifth level of stupidity. Anything with a stupidity level of or above this point (up to the eigth level) is considered mentally retarded.
Spongebob: The sixth level of stupidity.
A stoner: The seventh level of stupidity. (See also Dumb Dog)
An American: The eighth level of stupidity. Anything of or above this point in the scale is considered ouright stupid.
McDonald's: The ninth level of stupidity. Only two people have ever been given this level; George Bush and Oscar Wilde.
Uncyclopedia: The tenth and once-presumed final level of stupidity.
There also is a magical secret stage of stupid achieved only by one person. His name is Andrew Schlafly.
[edit] Examples
[edit] How to De-Stupify
This is tried-and-true method of de-stupifying yourself in only 11 easy steps.
Step 1. Admit it to yourself that you are stupid. "Hello, my name is Bob, and I am an idiot." That's perfect, unless your name isn't Bob, of course.
Step 2. Focus on your end objective, which is death. Yes, that's the end. Face it.
Steps 3 - 6. Don't make lists.
Step 7. Moved to a dumb state. If you move to a state such as Idaho or New Jersey, your IQ will immediately go up 10 points.
Step 8. Buy a gun. This is the smartest thing you can ever do. Especially if you have young children adept at lockpicking.
Step 9. Get a laptop and hang out at Starbucks. It won't make you any smarter, but you will look and feel more so.
Step 10. Smoke pot. It opens up your world, man...
Step 11. Repeat Step 12.
[edit] Preventing Others From Thinking You're Stupid When You Clearly Are
If you were physically unable to follow the 12 steps of destupification, then clearly you are an idiot among idiots. But don't worry, as there are many ways to appear more clever than you really are. Scientists and renowned experts in the field of stupidity have found ways for people such as yourself to cloak your retardation in a gleaming mirage of intelligence. The following are the steps necessary for you to seem less stupid than you really are:
Step 1. Don't say you're stupid
Having discovered your god-given sense of stupidity, your objective would be to prevent others from finding out your own personal idiocy. Don't scream to the heavens, "I AM A STUPID!" or make signs detailing your mentally retarded exploits. This will not alleviate your condition, nor make you look any more intelligent.
Step 2. Say you're smart
To look smart in front of your peers, you must first say that you are smart. Declare your intelligence in family gatherings, public places, internet forums, and any site with a massive conglomeration of people. Saying that you are smart will convince people of your intelligence, and prevent them from thinking that you are a tenth level idiot.
Step 3. Don't act dumb, act smart
Now that you have told people of your "intelligence", support your claims by acting accordingly. Resist the urge to urinate in your trousers and use the restroom instead. Rather than reading Breathing For Dummies, read something intelligent such as National Geographic or Discovery Magazine. While you're talking, tilt your head 45 degrees into the air with your eyes closed. Act smug. Throw out as many smart-sounding six syllable words you can think of during a conversation. Spell check your documents and use the thesaurus as frequently as possible. Go to Starbucks, buy a coffee, and pretend to type something on your Mac (or better yet, work at Genius Bar) Doing this will further convince people that you do not have pig excrement for brains.
Step 4. Don't look dumb, look smart
To totally convince people that you lack mental stupidity, you must support your claims and acts of "intelligence" by your looks. Looking intelligent is easier than you might think. Like the Nazis and the KKK, intellectuals have developed a sort of fashion trend to help people identify themselves. Imitating this fashion trend would help people identify you as a smart person, when you clearly aren't. Instead of wearing only your undergarments, wear a lab coat. Decorate your pimple encrusted face with a pair of 6 inch glasses and equip your pockets with proper protection. Cover your frostbite ridden feet with a pair of shoes, and fill your pockets with pencils, calculators, and an assortment of scientific equipment. Once you are finished, those who see you will automatically think of you as a smart person, despite your subzero IQ.
Conclusion
Once you have completed these steps, people will no longer be able to detect your idiocy. Instead, all they will see is a complete idiot who thinks that he can hide his stupidity with a bunch of cheap tricks very intelligent person.
- Main article: HowTo:Be a Hypocrite
“This would do great for my next term in office”
~ George W. Bush on Preventing Others From Thinking You're Stupid When You Clearly Are
[edit] See also:
- 101 Stupid Things You Should Do If You're Stupid
- The Emperor of Stupidity
- You
- Gay
- Dogs
- Your Mother
- Parents
- Zombies
- Zombie conspiracists (People who believe in zombies, stupid)
- George Bush
- George W. Bush
- George Dubya
- President Dubya
- Fugly
- Blonde
- Skinny Pants
- Chop Sticks
- Apple Corers
- Surfer Dudes
- The French
- Sakura
- Humanity
