Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A is an important vaccination for the protection against the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis disease. Although perhaps not as effective as Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A is less expensive, and thus more readily available to countries that want to immunize themselves against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis.
Stupendous Tropical Meningitis is a rare viral disease, which can sometimes be fatal. It is often carried by mosquitoes, ticks, and hippopotamuses. Though it exhibits varying signs, Stupendous Tropical Meningitis tends to result in a handful of maladies typical to itself, including excessive inflammation of brain matter, a severe lack of rash-preventing tissue, and the overproduction of meat hormones by the body. In some subjects afflicted with the disease, massively catastrophic spleen failure occurs, making that particular strain of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis a very serious diagnosis.
Discovery of the Disease
Stupendous Tropical Meningitis was discovered in 1897 by scientist and existentialist philosopher Grenwauld H. Jeeves II. Although he lacked the medical equipment to observe the virus, he observed its spreading and effects as it killed 34 members of the Caribbean village of Malton, in which he lived. Ever the scientist-philosopher, he maintained that, since everyone was going to die anyway, nothing he did mattered in the long run. As per this, he did nothing to help the natives, making sure they knew that it was "for their own good". Later, Jeeves himself became afflicted with the disease. As the amount of meat hormones in his body began to skyrocket, he rapidly changed his stance on the issue, and began to search for a cure. He died shortly after beginning his research.
Invention of the Vaccine
Luckily for the medical community, another, less Nihilistic medical scientist was on his way. More qualified then the "self-taught" Jeeves, he would soon invent the basis for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A. His name was Gregory Titlebauer, and he is widely regarded as one of the least important medical scientists in history. Upon arriving in the village 6 years after the death of Jeeves, he rapidly began his research. (Although Titlebauer began his trip to the village just before the death of Jeeves, he was sidetracked by a fascinating species of worm, which turned out to have hallucinogenic qualities. He spent several years in a worm-induced haze, and then a few more years lost in northern Mexico, as the worms had addled his brain.)
Titlebauer's first work involved painful and humiliating tests on the infected villagers, many of which seemed to have little or nothing to do with the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis virus at all. Soon, he had obtained samples of the virus, which he studied under a microscope. Using these, he created a vaccine which could have immunized the inhabitants of Malton, which was at this point, abandoned. Titlebauer later died. Although the cause was originally believed to be Stupendous Tropical Meningitis, he had already immunized himself using his Stupendous Tropical Meningitis vaccination. Still, the fact that he chose to demonstrate the power of his "flawless" vaccination by subjecting himself to massive quantities of the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis virus seems suspicious.
Changes made to the vaccine's formula
Since his death, an assortment of scientists, wannabes, know-it-alls, eggheads, fancy-pantses, and many other types of individuals who are impossible to talk to have attempted to improve on the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis vaccination. Though most have been unsuccessful, and some have actually damaged vital components of the formula, the vaccine's potency has slowly increased, and Stupendous Tropical Meningitis has become less and less of a problem, despite never really being one in the first place.
In 1921, Dr. Beifraund Ickstein came up with a new formula for the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis vaccine, that was essentially a watered-down version of the old Stupendous Tropical Meningitis vaccine. This made it more cost effective, and thusly more popular than the first stupendous tropical meningitis vaccination. Since it had become so much more common, it became known as Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, and was advertised as "Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A: Just add water to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B!" Such a catchy advertisement could not be ignored by the masses, and the popularity of the vaccination soared into slightly less ambiguousness.
The Vaccination Today
Currently, every important country in the world possesses large reserves of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, as well as additional backup reserves of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B. Possibly because of this, no major country has had a serious outbreak of the disease since the dawn of history. The more likely cause of this absence of the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis disease is the fact that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis only occurs in the tropics. Still, large governments enjoy patting themselves on the back once-in-a-while, and most important scientists would feel too guilty afterwards if they ruined their government's fantasy world.
Whenever there is an outbreak of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis, large, and perhaps even extraneous quantities of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A are typically sent to the 3rd world country in need. Although only a single vaccination is required to permanently immunize a person from Stupendous Tropical Meningitis, governments have a strict "better safe than sorry" policy, and ship over enough of the vaccine to immunize twice as many people as the country contains. Surprisingly, every important country's government still refuses to simply give away the vaccine to various countries in the tropics, as it would seemingly comply with the above policy. Their responses at UN meetings have been rambling, unclear, inconclusive, and, at times, downright ridiculous.
From these meetings revolving around the Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccinations, however, one thing can be certain about Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A. Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A is one of only two vaccinations for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis, which is a bad thing. Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A helps to cure Stupendous Tropical Meningitis. So, Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A is therefore a good thing. Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A may even be a great thing. In fact, Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A is so great, I'm going to go get immunized right now with Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A so I don't catch Stupendous Tropical Meningitis. Ah, my trusted old friend Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A. What a silly name.