Strong Sad

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Nothin' like watching a good ice cube fight!

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Strong Sad.

“Each day, we die a little more...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Strong Sad

“Ohhhhh, some animal died.”
~ Homestar Runner on Strong Sad
“No, they're more like elephant feet.”
~ Strong Bad on Strong Sad

Strong Sad (September 11, 1961 - ) is the youngest brother of Strong Bad and Strong Mad, and a social outcast.

History

Mr. and Mrs. Strong were having troubles with their sex life, trying to make a third child. So, Mrs. Strong got some at the sperm bank! However, He was born of the sperm of an elephant. Why the fuck is an elephant donating sperm?! Did somebody forget to close the Free Country USA Zoo? As he grew older, Strong Bad pulled pranks on him, and one time gave him a "belly button" with a power drill he got for his birthday. His favorite movie growing up as a child was Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas, and he draws Jack Skellington on a daily basis. It is rumored on the Something Awful forums that he is autistic or has asperger syndrome. Strong Bad responds to this by saying "What de crap are you talking about? I like British chicks and play veedio games from the late 80's and early 90's!" Then there was gossip flying around the Something Awful forums about Strong Bad being a sex addict because he brags about getting all those girls. Mean while, Strong Sad still got a crap load of hate mail no thanks to the e-mail entitled "depressio" in which Strong Bad reveals his brother's E-mail address. Strong Sad also seems to like playing World of Dorkcraft and eating strawberry pockey.

Teen Years

As he grew older, Strong Sad showed a passion for emo poetry and homosexual tendencies. At the height of said homosexual tendencies, Strong Sad had a relationship with Homsar, his only friend in the world. Unfortunately, the relationship ended when Homsar was crushed by a heavy lourde. When he recovered, Homsar denied the relationship had happened. After this, Strong Sad started cutting himself and watching those stupid Invader ZIM AMVs on Youtube.

Death and Ressurection

Strong Sad died at the age of 45 (15 in human years) on a hot summer night during a cockfight. A devastated Homsar beat the shit out of Strong Sad's corpse, which somehow brought him back to life. Upon his ressurection, Strong Sad vowed to be a happier person and live life to its fullest.

That lasted a week before he started writing emo poetry and jacking off to pictures of your mom.

Second Death

Strong Sad died again after being fed caffeine by his older brother. For three days, he lived on no sleep and general crack addict behavior before passing out dead during a fight with Coach Z. He mysteriously revived the next day with no explanations. Nobody even knew he'd been dead. "And all of this data can only lead to one conclusion" says brother Bad. "Strong Sad's adopted."

Current

These days, Strong Sad offers smartass commentary on people's daily lives. No one cares. He now calls himself bisexual; he still has homoerotic fantasies, but shortly before his death developed a boner for Marzipan, which he still has to this day. Unfortunately, Homestar Runner has not yet found out about this and attempted to beat the shit out of Strong Sad.

In addition to emo poetry and bisexuality, Strong Sad enjoys grody ethnic food such as rogan-josh pot pie and bakalava. He has a bizarre attachment to his underwear, particularly a pair of blue ones he once tore apart the internet searching for.

Blog

A chronicle of Strong Sad's sad life can be found here.

Other incarnations

In the 1930s, Strong Sad was CIA member Sickly Sam, a hungry skeleton wrapped in a potate sack. Before that, he was a hapless chef on the Titantic. Sickly Sam died in 1941 and spent 20 years partying in hell before his current incarnation hatched from his egg.

Quotes

  • "Each day we die a little more."
  • "I'm sad that I'm flying."
  • "Hey, man, this is a rogan-josh pot pie."
  • "I can't remember my legs!"
  • "Do you even have half a brain?"
  • "The world is saved! I found the blue ones!"
  • "That's it. I'm moving out."
  • "Weirdo."
  • "There're wood-davers everywhere!"
  • "Oh...Some animal died".
  • "This sucks!!"

See also

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