Strikeforce

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Shitfarce is a copy of the Ultimate Fighting Championship which hosts a number of Mixed martial arts events you will never see on TV. Many have to watch it on the internet, usually homosexuals when they're horny, this is mainly because the erotic art of Ancient Greek humping wrestling is common in this promotion.

edit Beginning

Shitfarce started as a kickboxing promotion back in '85 because AIDS was so common back then: if there was any humping and wrestling the virus could spread, so it was only striking. MMA came in when scientists found more ways to block the spread of HIV, so grappling was allowed. This is why Dream lightweight champ Shinya Aoki wears rubber tights: it acts as a giant condom. When MMA came around, there were a variety of fighters such as Cunt Le, Dick Niaz, Wank Shamrock, King Ho, and Gayhard Moose-assy. Everybody knows the Strikeforce MMA thing was post UFC. they didn't know what MMA was before that. They even copied the cage from UFC. At least the Japanese use a ring! These guys just plagiarized everything from UFC.

edit Ways to win

  • Knockout: If your opponent falls down and isn't moving, you win.
  • Submission: If your opponent cries like a bitch and begs u to forgive him, you win, sounds awesome doesn't it? Well the idiot fans think knockouts are cooler (dumbasses)
  • Technical Knockout: If you're humping your opponent while punching him and he cant do shit, you win.
  • Technical Submission: When your opponent feels brave and doesn't tap, sometimes he might fall asleep or you might break his bones; in both cases, you win.
  • Decisions: You can bribe the judges and offer to let them sleep with you if they let you win. This method hasn't failed to date.

edit Ways to lose

If your opponent has successfully achieved any of the ways to win mentioned above, you lose.

edit Strikefarce today

Strikefarce nowadays is minding its own business while UFC prez, Dana "The Douche" White is constantly trying to compete with them, which obviously means he's scared. He trash talks about all the fighters who sign with them including Fedor Emelianenko who refused to join UFC after Dana refused to give it up to the Russians. These days it is home to 50 year old retired Football stars who have no cardio and weak chins, it is also home to fake ass wrestler, Bobby Lashley.

edit Current Champions

  • Heavyweight: Alisteroids Over Ream Started fighting in 2001 in the minuscule flyweight division. Overeem had a physique likened to Steve Urkel in the beginning, but after the mass consumption of horse meat and steroids he has made the transformation to what is known at UBEREEM 9000!!! Currently Ubereem is fighting in the Heavyweight Division at 300 pounds of oiled rippling muscle. Leading scientists in Holland have discovered a new muscle in the back after studying Ubereem in their top secret labs. Ubereem is best known for starting his fighting career with a hat size of 6 1/2 while currently fighting with a hat size of 8 3/4.... eat that Barry Bonds. A guy named Brett Rogers tried to fuck up Ubereem and take his title because of a bargain over the price at which he was to change the tires of Ubereem's monster truck. However, Ubereem's juiced up knee was too much for the garage worker.
  • Light Heavyweight: Mohammad "King Ho" Lawal is another light heavyweight champion known for running his mouth, much like the former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad "Shuffle" Evans. He won the title by a boring victory over Gegard "Gay hard" Mousasi by lay and pray, sitting on him like Cock Chestnar and waiting for the fight to end. Then he started showing off like he completely owned the guy.
  • Middleweight: Jake Shields got the title without beating the champ, so technically, he isn't the champ. It started when San Shou Master Cunt Le left MMA to be an actor. Cunt was the champ but gave up his title to be an actor, so the title was given to the winner between Shields and Jason "Maywhore" Miller. Shields ultimately won that match up. Cunt also came back to Strikeforce from acting but got KO'd.
  • Welterweight: Nick "The Dick" Diaz A cocky skinny stoner who likes to run his mouth all the time, his hobbies include pointing middle fingers and just being a dick (hence the nickname). Recently, he defended the title against Dream welterweight champ Mariusz Zaromskis by kicking his ass and fingering the crowd.
  • Lightweight: Gilbert "Nino" Melendez Famous for his years in Pride FC and appearing on the Ultimate Fighter where he kicked Wang's ass when Wang tried to go all kung fu on him and BJ Penn got pissed, lmao that was funny. Recently beat all time rival Shinya Aoki mainly because Aoki could not do much without his magic submission pants.
  • Female Featherweight: Christiane "The Cyborg Man thing" Santos became hated after she won the title, because she beat Gina Carano, the chick every male MMA fan had a boner over, but eventually accepted her when they were freaked out after seeing her kick the shit out of big strong men.
  • Female Bantamweight: Sarah "Cough Cough" Kaufman an undefeated Canadian chick, recently beat undefeated Japanese fighter, Takashi something technological, she also beat Miesha Tits which also made her unpopular cuz Miesha's fuckin hot!

edit The Nashville brawl

Strikefarce's only WWE moment was in April when Jake Shields defeated Dan Henderson for the title. Jake was sucking up to Hendo in the post fight interview when Jason "Gayhem" Miller came up and proposed to Jake, saying: "Jake, where's my wedding ring buddy?". Jake was not interested in him so he pushed him off, but Miller kept insisting. As a result, Jake's Seizure Gracie camp dog piled Miller and started punching and dry humping him. It was not long before Nick "The Dick" Diaz showed up along with his brother from the UFC, Nate Diaz. They eventually got tired and gave up, while Miller got up just fine and went up to Jake to say "It is over between us!!" and left.

Basically, a whole gang of Seizure Gracie black belts and brown belts couldn't beat down one Miller.

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