Street Fighter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 04:12, October 3, 2009 by Hanyouman (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
“Haduken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken Hadouken KO”
~ Anyone on A Street Fighter battle
KEN HAET SODA
A controversial scene of Ken after juicing his opponent.
Sagat
Sagat throws a croissant at Ryu. Ryu dies afterward.
Etch-Fighter
Street Fighter was released for the NES, with "improved" graphics.

Street Fighter, introduced to the public in 1992 by Capcom, has served as one of the most impressive and accurate Real-Time Strategy games for over a decade.

Controls

There are 10 buttons and one joystick on the arcade cabinet of modern machines. The negative grace under pressure edge system had been tweaked due to excessive pressure put on the buttons, forcing arcade operators to replace buttons that had committed seppuku due to extreme pressure, see also north star.

The joystick and buttons look like this.

  _       _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _
 /|\     / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \
 \_/     \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/
 | |
 | |
 | |      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _      _
 0 0     / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \    / \
         \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/    \_/
                   

Note: this is the standard arcade configuration. If you are using a/n Playstation 2, Xbox, or Nintendo Wii controller to play fighting games, you're screwed from the word "stop".

Note: In your average arcade at least four of the buttons will not respond to pressing or pounding them. The joystick may be permanently jacked into a direction other than neutral.

Note: These controls replaced the negative grace under pressure edge system controls, which were further replaced again by a non-ASCII control scheme.

Note: A few good players have been able to cast a tenfold sized hadouken by handling the lever with their mouths.

Story

's on a moonbike
Hey, what's up with my eyepatch?

The story is as follows:

Once upon a time, the world appeared, right after the Sega Master System boot sequence. Ryu, Sagat, and several other characters came to life. Ryu looped on attract mode for several hours while the sound was adjusted. Then God puteth a quarter therein. Ryu staggered around shakily while punching the air and kicking his opponents sometimes. They spoke to him from time to time, but were hard to understand.

Then Ryu met Sagat. Sagat won, so God puteth another quarter therein. Ryu fought Sagat again a few times, and figured out qcf+p. Sagat won again. But after the next quarter, Ryu did f,d,df+p a few times, It was mostly unresponsive, but it hit once, leaving a bloody valley on Sagat's chest, and Ryu won. A high score was entered, and the credits rolled. And God saw it was good


Later

A few years later, after Ryu existed in different dimensions, mostly looking crappy compared to the original, Ryu looked better. He was upset about not having a face in some versions of reality.

The new, better looking world appeared. Ryu, Ken, Chun Li, and many other busty characters came to life. Mayhem ensued.


Rules of Conduct As Specified through a historical Viewpoint that had Undoubted Ramifications throughout the Real and Virtual Worlds both in Present and Past

Observed by all sane and rational persons, the tome of Street Fighter 2 Discipline was enacted after World War 2 in order to make sure that the terrible weapon known as being cheap was confined.


Other Important History Stuff

-International outcry after the war also called for limitations on the Final Atomic Buster and related controller input.

-All existing martial arts altered their sparring strategies after 1992 when the Street Fighter game revealed the uncanny potency of throwing your opponent after they block a quick jab or crouching kick.

TerriblePhoto
Ryu just isn't good at smiling for the camera, even when the photo was for his funeral.


Later...Turbo

Ryu was killed off in the starting sequence to Street Fighter VII: Deadly Mistake by a black dude when he pissed him off by calling him a nigger. Some fans believe this to be a silly plot twist designed to cash in, others point out that considering there are already seven zillion and four Street Fighter games and that Capcom has enough money as it is, the company simply says "shut up and stop whining."

Ryu was given a funeral, where his friends and lack of any family attended. For this special occasion, they simply buried him in the middle of Nowhere, where his spirit will walk around freely. However, later he would resurface again for the next Street Fighter game, coming back as a zombie.

Comprehensive List of Most of the Characters

Mario vs goomba
One of the characters (who is in no way a rip off of Mario! Really!) using his ultimate move on Guile: "Shining Plumber Uppercut" technique.

-Alpha/Pre-Alpha-

Adon - Former student of Sagat, currently a drop out.

Akuma - Satan's cousin who likes to use fluorescent paint to make a Japanese letter appear on his back at random times. However, Shin Akuma uses Light Brights.

Birdie - Flies around and poops on your car.

Bob Saget - Creator of the deadly "Tiger Up Her Butt", otherwise known as the "Tiger Robocop".

Dan Hibiki - Inspired SNK to create Art of Fighting.

Eagle - Freddie Mercury wannabe who attacks people with sticks.

Gen - An old guy who should've quit the hitman business ever since he got cancer, but wishes to die fighting Akuma. Masochist.

Guy - Some dude. He also has a sister named "Gal".

Juli and Juni - Bison's dolls. They seek vengeance against Cammy because a little girl picked the Cammy doll first.

Karin - Sakura's rival. A prissy rich bitch who tried to defeat Sakura with the power of her long blonde curls.

Ken Masters - Wealthy Martial Artist and Lawyer who tried to sue the pants of off Ryu for stealing "his" techniques, even though it was actually Ken himself who ripped Ryu off.

Maki - Linka the kunoichi, with the power of WEEND!

Retsu - Who?

R. Mika - A butch lesbian wrestler who fell in love with Zangief, known for her intro "BONZA!" Her clothing magically disappears, then reappears!

Rose - Clara Petacci herself, Rose is a tarot card reader, who forsees things. Had an affair with Bison, however he Psycho Crushed her into ashes. She has recently resurfaced in Street Fighter 4, looking as beautiful as ever. She also has five sisters; Lily, Violet, Daisy, Tulip, and Flora.

Ryu (pronounced "Leeyoogha") - The main character who basically wanders around barefoot all the time on the account he's a bum. Showers under waterfalls who he believes are fighting him. Possibly schizophrenic. Will fight for food.

Sakura - AKA The Ryu-Obsessed Creepy Stalker Girl. Talent mostly found in ability to eat hot dogs. She has been known to be seen upskirt. Also, her friends include Sasuke and Naruto.

Sodom - A mysterious Wapanese criminal with a name too funny to ignore.


-II Series-

Balrog - Copied from the George Foreman Grill. Originally named M. Bison in Japan, they switched his name along with the other two guys, because someone forgot to tell Capcom that parodying is a protected form of free speech.

Blanka - Guile's pal Charlie on Mondays.

Cammy - The reason 12-year-old boys touch themselves at night.

Car - A vehicle minding its own business when people gang bang the hell out of it in 30 seconds.

Chun Li - Founder of the Chun Li Dynasty.

Dee Jay - Annoying negro Jamaican guy who's always hopped up on LSD, hence his constant smiling.

E. Honda - Fat sumo guy, also the founder of Honda, rival of Mazda.

Fei Long - Copied from Virtua Fighter. Played in the movie by Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film in one of his best performance in his career.

Guile - The Franco-American soldier. Also goes by the name Zeawn Claudius Van Damius.

M. Bison - Master of the Fatal Final Role (kind of). Is sometimes seen with Juli and Juni, his sex Barbie dolls. Inspired by the real life dictator. Known to scream "This is delicious!" and "YESH! YESH!" when excited.

SpicyDhalsim
"Yogaaaaaa Flame!!"

Mohandas Ghandi - You want a peace of this?

Tony Hawk - The infamous skater's Native American secret identity. Goes by the alias "T. Hawk"

Vega - Has a claw which magically jumps to his other hand when he faces the other direction, which he stole from a ninja named Geki. What a jerk. Also may be a girl.

Zangief - Jump, Roundhouse, Jump, Roundhouse, Jump...


-III Series-

Alex - Throws people. He tries to throw them helluva far like Mr. T, but is always seen as a lame and blatant copycat.

Dudley - The pimp mack daddy of the game, he pimp smack hoes, and rapes bitches for a living. He also spars with Akuma time to time...as in kicking the shit out of Akuma, and hangs with his buddy, Oscar Wilde. Also known for bullying Harry Potter when he lived with the "Dursley". Father of Bubba Ray and D-Von.

Elena - The giddiest breakdancer in the world. Has no idea what punches are, despite having watched Dudley give Akuma a basic haymaker three times.

Gill - A clown who escaped from a circus wearing a tiny diaper, painted himself red and blue colors.

Hugo - An overgrown wrestler followed by the transvestite who loves him. He claims to be number one.

Ibuki - A ninja. She's been in a rivalry with Makoto ever since she ambushed her and stole her bike.

Makoto - The angry karate girl who loves to kick the crap out of anyone who gets in her way. She swears to get revenge on Ibuki for stealing her bike.

Negro - A black guy who can stretch his limbs like Ghandi. Oh, and he loves to sing and pimps out his ho, Effie.

Oro - A smelly old hobo who hasn't showered in a year and constantly keeps one hand under his clothes to touch himself. He may be an alien with his glowing eyes, but we'll never know.

Q - Inspector Gadget in disguise.

Remy - A little emo brat that hates fighters better than him. He is also a member of Team Galactic, hence the blue hair.

Sean - The most widely respected and greatest fighter in the world, as they say. And he plays a mean game of basketball. Rumored to be Kobe Bryant in disguise.

SUV - Meets the same fate as the car.

Twelve - Brought to you by the letter R.

Urine - Gill's not-colored but also tiny-diaper-wearing brother, who is named after what goes into the toilet. No, not the brown thing. The thing that comes out the other end... theeeere ya go. You get it now.

Yang and Yun - Trowa Barton and Chang Wufei, guest starring as Chinese brothers.


-IV Series-

Crimson Viper - Spy who looks like Angelina Jolie. Her appearance marks the debut of Lara Croft, who has been waiting to "fight in this damn bloody game for hours."

Abel - He murdered his brother Cain.

El Fuerte - Gourmet cook who seeks to learn new recipes just so he can make the best chicken dinner you ever saw.

Rufus - Fat pile of puss that continues to stalk Ken Masters.

Seth - The super ultra Uber fantastic magnificent new boss ever! Although he is currently being sued by Doctor Manhattan for image infringement.


-From Other Series-

Misogi-Gore
"The Karate Chop of Death"; How Gore owns all n00b challengers in his way.
Deadpool SHORYUKEN
Deadpool tends to soften up his opponents with a good Shoryuken every once in a while.

Al Gore - Akuma's Newest disciple, fresh from training and ready to kick Global Warming Ass.

Deadpool - Specializes in verbal assault.

Cycloid Beta - The deepest, most complex and by far the most popular character to ever appear in the series. Has appeared in every single SF game ever made and is set to appear in the newest installment of Soul Calibur.

Cracker Jack - Everyone's favorite snack.

Darun Mister - William Taft as a Wrestler.

Doctrine Dark - James Monroe's son in disguise as a Mortal Kombat character.

Garuda - Somebody who pretends he is Yoshimitsu.

Ingrid - Mary Sue's alias. She would've been the star of the tournament, if it weren't for the likes of Chun Li, Mika, Elena, Sakura--heck, every other female fighter in the game.

Kairi - Yes, the same chick from that RPG that's half Disney property. Not to be confused with some guy with white hair.

Pullum Purna - Annoyingly high-pitched Indian bitch that fights with a tambourine. Is possibly Beyonce in drag.

Sheng Long - He exists, dammit! Oh, and you must defeat him to stand a chance.

Skullomania - Insane guy who thinks he's a superhero.

Volcano Rosso - Some guy that thinks he is Elvis and Bruce Lee combined.

Megaman - Probably the cheapest character to ever appear in a fighting game.

  • Strangely enough, the above characters became the only selectable characters in Capcom Fighting Evolution, all with 80% of their animation frames removed.

Pronunciation

Character Names

  • Chun Li is pronounced so that it rhymes with "Hum Vee", not "Tune me".
  • Zangief is pronounced so that it rhymes with "Spam Beef", rather than anything remotely Russian sounding like "Spam me hef".
  • Charlie is pronounced like "barley", except the "char" is pronounced like "guy", and the "lie" is pronounced like "ull".
  • Gen is pronounced like "Jem and the Holograms".
  • Q is pronounced like "pee-yoo", as in "Pyew, who farted?".
  • Maki is pronounced so that it rhymes with "caky", not the Japanese sounding like "lucky".
  • Seth is pronounced "annoying dickhead that no one can beat".

Moves

“Tatsumacky... Tachypookacky... Uh, Tappysenkoo... Ah fuck it! I'm just gonna bash the foo' in the head!”
~ Balrog on using special moves
shoryuken!
~ Ryu on a helium overdose

The major special moves of Street Fighter 2 also have pronunciations details that should be observed:

  • Abuken /A-boo-ken/ or /Ba-doo-ken/: Hadouken. The Hadouken is actually a rip-off copyright infrigment to Goku's Ka-me-ha-me-ha beam thing-a-ma-giggy. Goku tried to sue the living shit out of Ryu and Ken for it but lost on the count of Ken's "lawer lies". Note that Hadouken is also the name of the following sequence of moves you make in a control: down + down-front + front + some other button that surely will be explained. Such as: "His secret move is two Hadoukens plus kick."
  • Roriuken /Hoh-riu-ken/: Shouryuken, also known as Rori. Note that Shoryuken is also the name of the following sequence of moves you make in a control: fornt + down + down-front + some other button that surely will be explained. Such as: "Oh! He has a Shoryuken with low kick too!"
  • Alec Full /Ah-leck-Phul/ : Sonic Boom.
  • Paris Hall Hick /Pear-ass Holl Hik/ : Flash Kick
  • Mimimi Down-Kick /mee-mee-mee down-kik/: Spinning Bird Kick
  • Tiger Robocop /Ti-ger Roh-boh-kaw-p/ : Tiger Uppercut.
  • Save Her / Sy-fer : Tiger
  • Punch /Pán-chű/: Fist Strike
Real dhalsim
Real life Dhalsim fighting in "The stadium" stage vs. Dhalsim.
  • Tchep-tchep-puruken /A-beck-set-boo-get /Amazing-Food-Kick, also /Rotak-tak-duruken/ Jack-jack-spear-jack / Jap-jap-jew-jap : There are several divergences about what is said in this tremendous movement. The producers declared officially that this is actually pronounced "Tatsumakisenpukyakarukensakuyatukenbakken", however, most of the people we have interviewed have sworn to actually having heard either "hurricane kick" or "helicopter kick". Note that "Tchep" is also the name of the following sequence of moves you make in a control: down + down-back + back + some other button that surely will be explained. Such as: "His secret move is two Tcheps plus punch." This sequence is also called a "backwards Badooken." Alternatively, Ken pronounces it as "jap-jap-jew-jap" in regards to his anti-semitic/Japanese views.

Sagat's "Tiger Robocop" controversy

Animal Rights activists Jesus and Mohammed Ali were none to amused when they found out that Sagat had a 'thing' for Tigers. While attending a Street Fight between Bob Sagat and Cammy, Jesus and Ali were horrified when Sagat screamed "Tiger Up-Her-Butt while thrusting his fist in the air, knocking out Cammy (aka Kylie Minogue). When confronted by Jesus, Sagat insisted that 'I don't do nothing like that to Tigers, ya' know, up their butts and stuff. I just hang out with them'. Ali went on to smack Sagat upside the head with a beef burger, and told him to stop 'hanging' with tigers. Sagat would change the move name to 'Tiger Robocop', which seems to please Jesus and Ali. 2 months ago, a picture was sent to Jesus which looked like Sagat once again hanging around with tigers. Who knows how this feud will end.

Hacked versions

12 copy
Vito Sagat in the WWE hack.

Some guys over the world created some hacked versions of the Street Fighter games. Some of those versions include:

Ken and Ryu
Ryu and Ken as seen in the Rainbow Edition.

- Street Fighter 2 (Rainbow Edition) : This removed some of the characters and replaced by a more gay version of them.

- Street Fighter (red version) : Normal Street fighter with more gore on the game.

- Street Fighter (blue version) : The counterpart to "Street Fighter (red version)". The difference between the two versions is which characters You fight and how often they appear. Rather than being really gory your opponent freezes when K.O.'d.

- Street Mister T : Akuma is replaced with Mr.T, and Zinedine Zidane is also a selectable character, under the name Sagat. (He has an eyepatch to cover his identity)

- Street Biter : Street Fighter with all teeth-based Attacks.

- Street Fighter (Vito Sagat/Bob Saget version) : Sagat is replaced by his WWE counterpart (Big) Vito Sagat and Bob Saget is an unlockable character.

Games in the Series

WTFKen
Ken as he appears in the 70s blaxpoitation version of SF2, Street Fighter II: Electric Boogaloo.
  • Street Fighter
  • Fighting Street (Also known as "City Hit-Man Challenge")
  • Street Fighter II
  • Street Fighter II Plus
  • Street Fighter II Plus+Plus
  • Street Fighter II Turbo
  • Street Fighter II Turbo Hyper Fighting
  • Street Fighter II Really Really Fast and We Mean it This Time
  • Street Fighter II Lightspeed: We Lied
  • Street Fighter II Beyond Lightspeed Dash Plus+Plus
  • Street Fighter II Electric Boogaloo (AKA SF2 in the 70s)
  • Street Fighter 2010 (AKA Ken in Space, Ken's Greatest Adventure, Ken in Odyssey 2)
  • Street Fighter II Still Not III
  • Street Fighter II Still Not III Turbo
  • Street Fighter II: The Revenge ("This time, it's personal!")
  • Street Fighter II 2 (AKA Slightly Different Costumes Edition)
  • Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers
  • Super Street Fighter II Turbo
  • Super Street Fighter II Turbo Sheng Wrong Edition
  • Great Blazing Hyper Mega Ultra Super Maxi Extreme Street Fighter II Gold Part 3½ Ex Plus Special Omega-Alpha Impact Dash Legend 3000 Turbo X: The Brand New Extra Deadly Grand Power Championship Tournament Battle Lightning Edition! Featuring Mr. Dream
  • Street Fighter Alpha
  • Street Fighter Alpha 2 (Gold, Silver, Bronze, & Platinum)
  • Street Fighter Alpha 3
  • Street Fighter Alpha 3 Upper (AKA What Really Happened)
  • Street Fighter Alpha 3 Lower
  • Street Fighter Beta: The Early Development
  • Street Fighter Gamma (Special Hulk Edition)
  • Street Fighter the Movie: The Game (AKA Street Fighter goes to Hollywood)
  • Street Fighter the Movie: The Game (now with more accurate character representation)
  • Wall Street Fighter
Wtf dan
Dan as he appears in Wall Street Fighter.
  • Sesame Street Fighter (Known as "Ryu's day off" in Portugal)
  • Street Fighter III: The New Generation (AKA The Replacements)
  • Street Fighter III Giant Attack (AKA Sloppy Seconds)
  • Street Fighter III Third Strike (AKA when Rap meets Jap)
  • Street Fighter III Fourth Parry
  • Street Fighter Dan: The World Taunter
  • Street Fighter II Turbo Revival
  • Street Fighter II HD Remix
  • Street Fighter II Low-Def Bum Edition
  • Street Fighter IV (AKA Street Fighter II.V)
  • Art of Fighting

Compilation Versions Include:

  • Street Fighter Collection
  • Street Fighter Collected Collection
  • Street Fighter Collected Collection: The Collectors Edition
  • Street Fighter Alpha Anthology
  • Street Fighter Anniversary Edition
  • Street Fighter Anniversary of the Anniversary Edition
  • Street Fighter: The Bonus Rounds
  • Street Fighter: The Bonus Rounds Turbo
  • Street Fighter: The Bonus Rounds Turbo Remix (this time the car is PURPLE!)
  • Street Fighter: The Bonus Rounds Turbo RE-Remix (features a new drum machine)
  • Return of the Jedi

The VS. Series

Not content with doing the RTS thing on their own, the Street Fighters decided to leave behind the tennis racket and find new friends and foes in the VS games. These crossdressing games hosted some of the most unbelievable RTS wars ever seen by man or beast, and made Capcom a lot of munny-wunny.

Games in the VS. series

  • X-Men vs. Street Fighter
  • Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter
  • Marvel Super Villains vs. Street Fighter
  • Alien vs. Predator
  • Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat
  • Street Fighter vs. Tetris
  • Looney Tunes vs. Street Fighter
  • Marvel vs. Capcom
  • Marvel vs. Capcom 2 - New Breed of Awesome
  • Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - Lawsuits ruined our game!
  • DC vs. Capcom
  • Disney vs. Capcom
  • Hanna-Barbera vs. Capcom
  • Nicktoons vs. Capcom
  • Sega vs. Capcom
  • Nintendo vs. Capcom
  • Capcom vs. SNK
  • Capcom vs. SNK 2 - Mark of the Millennium 2001
  • SNK vs. Capcom: SVC Chaos
  • Tatsunoko vs. Capcom
  • Shonen Jump vs. Capcom
  • Capcom vs. Touhou
  • Capcom vs. Capcom
  • Capcom vs. Versus
  • M.U.G.E.N

Another game of special mention was Gainax vs. Capcom, which would feature many original characters from the Gainax company, but by this point Capcom was beginning to half-ass their fighting game efforts to where they made the entire game out of paper. Gainax fans were deeply displeased.

The only Capcom Vs. game that did not get published was Sammy vs. Capcom, in which Capcom and Sammy were to team up and produce the game after calling them out to challenge their best. But then Capcom no-showed, causing the game to get canceled and therefor making Sammy the winners by default (and producing a game where that happens would have been boring).

Miscellaneous

There have been recent rumors surfacing about the near completion of Ryu's autobiography, the aptly named "Turbo: A Street Fighter Story or: How I learned to quit worrying and love the Shoryuken" should be hitting stores near you soon, Mortal Kombat fans worldwide are pleased.

Safety Issues

An outcry occurred after a girl named Alice Margatroid got sucked into a Street Fighter II arcade machine just after she started the game. Within seconds, she had to fight her way out through the freaky host of characters, and she escaped albeit injured, the first case of video game injury. Capcom acknowledged this as a trait of the CPS-1 (Commie's Plus Suckers -1) and put an advisory to stay away from the machine while playing. From that time on, the joysticks and the buttons were detached from the machine, and fans complained that Capcom hated them. They destroyed millions of CPS-1 machines and prompted Capcom to replace them with the equally impotent Commies Plus Suckers Harbor.

Future Games

Drunk kids
One sequel was going to be about a power-hungry Ken transforming kids into retards, but was deemed too stupid to make.

It has been confirmed that the production of a new Street Fighter game has started, focusing on the characters 40 years later, where they are all old and wrinkled and fighting to become the strongest senior citizen in the entire retirement home. The release date of this latest entry into the series is currently unknown. However, we can guarantee that they plan to make more versions of this same sequel shortly after the release of the first one. The story is based around the revitalized Sagat who smashed a window at an old folks home, and they declared a new tournament be held as revenge.

Also still confirmed to be under development is the upcoming sequel, Street Fighter V (pronounced Street Fighter "FEYVE" and is always written in bold font). The game is based around a golfing tournament held by the one and only Master Retsu, who challenges the world to beat his hole-in-one winning streak. Playable characters include Shin Akuma, Evil Ryu, Violent Ken and Slightly Annoyed Dan who have all somehow been hypnotized by Gill and a yet-again-reincarnated M.Bison and to win them the cash prize of 100,000 Yen. However, recent protests by women's rights activists and otakus over the discarding of Chun Li (who was reported to be having tea with friends in South Town at the time) have halted the proceedings for at least a year, though recently the game has resumed it's progress.

Another future game was a enhanced port of Street Fighter IV, Morrigan's Engrish Edition, which was planned for the XBox 360 and Playstation 3, but was later cancelled abruptly after she sexually assaulted and ripped the intestines out of the male staff members about 2 months into development.

See Also

   v  d  e
Street Fighter is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
Personal tools
projects