Stoner High School/School songs

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This article is part of the Stoner High School series.

School Songs


Also known as "the song that started it all," this song was written by the Axis of Weasels and brought about the crackdown that sparked the overthrow of Dumhaas. It is sung to the tune of "Tradition" from "Fiddler on the Roof."


Trish White, co-lead singer for the Axis of Weasels.

Verse One

Corruption, corruption! corruption!

Corruption, corruption! corruption!

Who, day and night, must scramble for excuses,

Speak a lot of bullshit, write up stupid rules?

And who has the right, as master of the school,

To have the final word in class?

The Principal, the Principal! Corruption!

The Principal, the Principal! Corruption!

Verse Two

Who must know the way to run a crazy class,

A noisy class, a madhouse class?

Who must grade the quizzes and run the school,

So Principal's free to go get Starbucks?

The Teachers, the Teachers! Corruption!

The Teachers, the Teachers! Corruption!

Verse Three

At nine, I opened English class. At ten, I broke my whip.

I hear they've blamed the students though. I hope it's true.

The sub, the sub! corruption!

The sub, the sub! corruption!

Verse Four

And who does Teacher teach to beat around the bush,

Preparing me to apply wherever Mama picks?

The student, the student! corruption!

The student, the student! corruption!

"Dudes of Stoner"

The official song of Stoner High School is "Dudes of Stoner," written by Confederation of Concerned Students Vice President and then-sophomore Kate Schpade (later to become second Queen of SHS). It is sung to the tune of "Men of Harlech."

The song is sung very slightly differently by men and women in the first verse.

Coronation kate

Coronation of HM Kate I (Miss Kate Schpade), 2nd Queen of Stoner High.

Verse One

Dudes of Stoner stop your slaving

Can’t you see your freedoms fading

See that crazy Dumhaas screaming

At this pretty (handsome) girl (guy)

Verse Two

From the hills rebounding

Let this war cry sounding

Summon all at Tiffany's call

The mighty force surrounding

Verse Three

Dudes of Stoner stand ye steady

It cannot be ever said ye

For the battle were not ready

Stand and never yield

Verse Four

Dudes of Stoner onto glory

This shall ever be your story

Keep these duct tape rolls beside ye

Students will not yield

"We're Not Gonna Take It"

An Axis of Weasels cover of the Twisted Sister song We're Not Gonna Take It is the Blue Coalition Party Anthem.

"Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall"

The Brown Keg party, after intense inebriated deliberation, settled on "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as the party anthem since they were already singing it at all the parties anyway.


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