Stick Figures
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 STICK NOTICE!This page is ALL about STICKMAN! nothing else WOOT! Enjoy this page :)
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[edit] Why Stick Figures Were Invented
Stick figures were invented by people who are bad in art and needed a sorry excuse for drawing a person. Over the years stick figures have evolved into many different forms such as the torsoless stick figure and the headless stick figure. Stick figures can show many emotions such as being dead by using two "x"s for the eyes. they were also invented for kids who love to goof off in class and draw violent pictures of stick figures fighting in massive war!!!
[edit] Stick figures in History
[edit] The miracle of Life
A long, long time ago..in a galaxy far, far away...
The process of natural selection had drug on for millenniums...
And by random chance, it gave rise to the Stickus Manasapien, more commonly known as The Stick Man.
The first known Stickus Manasapien originated in central Stickfrica where stickitables and stickruits were planted to develop Stickriculture and provide a living without the need of stickstock or sticknimals' meat (as if they have any).
[edit] Dancing
Stick Figure dances have been said to be somewhat odd. Most of the time you either can't see anything, or are getting impaled on a spikey two-by-four. Dances include: The Stick, The Stick 2, The stick 2.6, The Stick...Big number of sorts, The Stickie, The smacking of your partner with the Bible and (Your name here)'s death.
[edit] Before the Stickmen
No one knows exactly who created the stickmen, but before they were made there was chaos in the world.Thousands, even millions of people who wanted to make movies or games(mainly flash ones),but had no drawing talent were forever doomed to waste their, otherwise great, ideas. Some say that the stickman was invented by adding arms and legs to a sperm.
Then, one day, their saviors came- the stickmen.Now ANYONE with ideas could realize them using these great little sticks.
[edit] Discovery
The Stick men were first depicted hunting a buffalo. These drawings are believed to be done by a human, suggesting that humans and stick men worked together in a community, with Sticks doing the actual work and humans sitting around drawing amateur pictures. Stick men obviously played an important role in human life, and eventually grew beyond the needs of the humans and left the planet.
In 1909, a stick fossil was discovered in Egypt found under a rock. Ancient Egyption prophiseas show a picture of stick people rising over us and we are serving them.[we belive that the stick figures are better than us]
[edit] The evolution of the Stickus genus
Stick men are characterized by their straight, angular bodies.
The Stickus genus came from a primitive species called Sticktopithecus. To be honest, I didn't pay much attention to the lectures on Sticktopithecus in Biology (I fell asleep), so let's skip to the cooler and much more interesting Stickus.
[edit] Prehistory
Stick figures have played an important part in the Complete history of the world.
Armed with a Pointed stick, Stick Figures become formidable Warriors with skills rivaling the fabled Klingon. So armed, stick figures cannot be pierced with arrows. When attacked by the sword, the broken bodies of maimed stick figures can be used as a Pointed Stick by the remaining troops.
An unnamed stick figure participated in the signing of the Constitution_of_the_United_States.
An army of Slave stick figures were compelled to build the Great Food pyramid of Egypt.
[edit] The Future?
It is believed that the Stickus will eventually evolve and ascend into God-like beings. Although, since they will be the only other beings around (they will kill everything else) no one will be alive to see if this belief will come true. Soon, the stick men will eventually invent the stick women, (a blond one, hehe) and will breed 37 times faster than they did with just men.
[edit] Timeline
- 4000 BC God creates everything
- 3999 BC Humans eat forbidden fruit, and implicate the Sticks with them. Both are thrown out of the Garden of Eden
- 2000 BC Stick slaves build Egyptian pyramids.
- 1937 BC Sticks overthrow their "gods" and bury the Stargate
- 1982 AD Great Stickman Famine. 908,375,098,473 stick men die of starvation.
- 2001 AD Stickwoman, Alison B. Smith goes food shopping.
- 2005 AD Stickmen rebel against the ruling stick aliens. 1,009,999 die in the ensuing Battle of the Stickman
All other history regarding the Stick men has been lost in time.
- 2008 AD 2 stick politicians run for presidency.. the results will be tragic for many...
[edit] Religion
Stickmen worship many different gods, like humans do. But The Blood God is the most popular. During the Great Stick war, huge atrocities were committed and thousands were sacrificed to the Blood God. The entire stick population of America were sacrificed because they were too stupid and fat to run away.
[edit] A stickman's life
Stickmen differ from humans in many ways, the most noticeable of which is that the stickmen's greatest purpose is to die in an awesome graphic way. It is said that if they actually existed, most Hollywood movie produced would be fucked cause of the massive amounts of ratings that stick figure producers can create by blowing their actors up in creative ways. Over the years many scientists have made a guess at the life expectancy of a stick man, the most common being 20 seconds. And they have no brain.
Little is known about what stickmen do in their free time, but it appears they like killing each other as much as they enjoy getting killed. Because of this, there is a theory that states that
This means that each stick figure shall kill no less than 23 to the power of 326456 other stick figures before being blown up itself...
[edit] Reproduction of stickmen
Little is known about that as well, but one thing is certain- stickmen DO NOT reproduce the way humans do. The only purpose of a stick woman is merely for pleasure. There may be movies or games saying otherwise, but they are lying. The most common theory about stickmen reproduction is that when a stickman gets blown to pieces, they come together and form a new one. If this theory is correct, this would mean stickmen are actually immortal (which would explain their desire to die and not having fear of death). Another theory states that a stickman actually has sex with the stickwoman. It's a different kind of sex than human sex, it doesn't reproduce, as it's only for pleasure. Although their is little known about the actual mating, the courtship itself is actually very long and needlessly drawn out, with such antics as the male setting the female on fire, than using a stick to beat her out.
[edit] The Real Stickmen who Nobody heard about ever
Back in the creation of the universe, a race of stickmen were created. Thats it. What? I sed nobody heard about it ever. GO READ ANOTHER ARTICLE!! This computer will blow up in 5 seconds if you dont exit...
[edit] The Great Stick Wars
- see: Stick Wars
[edit] Trivia
- It is rumored that most of the ANBU members in the anime Naruto are actually stickmen that escaped from another world because they die quite often, just like stickmen.
- Chuck Norris actually fought alongside stickmen in the Great Stick Wars.
- Only experts could differentiate a stickman and a stickwomman.
- This article has about a week left before Uncyclopedian Admins delete it because it is so stupid.
