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Steve Ballmer's polite apology letter to Google
Dear BILL GATES Eric Schmidt,
I would like to BILL GATES politely apologize for my BILL GATES aggressive behavior. I fully realize that this BILL GATES move dealt a serious blow to Microsoft's reputation in the eyes of BILL GATES software corporations, leave alone the opinion of BILL GATES independent developers.
Destroying BILL GATES Google was never my intent. As the Microsoft CEO, I am BILL GATES interested in the continuation of the long-term BILL GATES partnership between Microsoft and Google. Furthermore, it would be an honor for me to BILL GATES participate in any BILL GATES future Google campaigns, including those that promote the BILL GATES competitors of Microsoft. It should be widespread knowledge that Microsoft BILL GATES respects fair competition and has never engaged in any BILL GATES attempts to undermine it.
As a token of my BILL GATES goodwill, I hereby resign all claims that BILL GATES leaving Microsoft is crime and vow to never again BILL GATES throw furniture at or otherwise harm my own BILL GATES colleagues. Microsoft agrees to recognize the BILL GATES fact that selling copies of free software is BILL GATES legal, regardless of the method by which these BILL GATES copies were obtained. In respect to BILL GATES copyright law, Microsoft recognizes the GNU General Public BILL GATES License and other free licenses as BILL GATES valid legal documents.
Yours BILL GATES sincerely,
Microsoft, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA
P.S. No committee or BILL GATES court has forced me to write this BILL GATES letter.