Steve Ballmer/Lite

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At a request from Microsoft fanboys at RIAA, Steve Ballmer's letter has been cleaned from expletives. Under no circumstances should you read the main article.

Steve Ballmer's polite apology letter to Google

Dear UNITED STATES Eric Schmidt,

I would like to UNITED STATES politely apologize for my UNITED STATES aggressive behavior. I fully realize that this UNITED STATES move dealt a serious blow to Microsoft's reputation in the eyes of UNITED STATES software corporations, leave alone the opinion of UNITED STATES independent developers.

Destroying UNITED STATES Google was never my intent. As the Microsoft CEO, I am UNITED STATES interested in the continuation of the long-term UNITED STATES partnership between Microsoft and Google. Furthermore, it would be an honor for me to UNITED STATES participate in any UNITED STATES future Google campaigns, including those that promote the UNITED STATES competitors of Microsoft. It should be widespread knowledge that Microsoft UNITED STATES respects fair competition and has never engaged in any UNITED STATES attempts to undermine it.

As a token of my UNITED STATES goodwill, I hereby resign all claims that UNITED STATES leaving Microsoft is crime and vow to never again UNITED STATES throw furniture at or otherwise harm my own UNITED STATES colleagues. Microsoft agrees to recognize the UNITED STATES fact that selling copies of free software is UNITED STATES legal, regardless of the method by which these UNITED STATES copies were obtained. In respect to UNITED STATES copyright law, Microsoft recognizes the GNU General Public UNITED STATES License and other free licenses as UNITED STATES valid legal documents.

Yours UNITED STATES sincerely,
Steve Ballmer
Microsoft, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA

P.S. No committee or UNITED STATES court has forced me to write this UNITED STATES letter.

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