Steve

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In the Holy Bible, Steve (Hebrew Child rapist, meaning "totally kewl dude") was the bestest friend and life-long soulmate of Adam. Steve is English for "Pedophile teacher" French for "Anal King", Spanish for "Dick burns a lot", Elvish for "That is what she said guy" and Klingon for "dick attractor"

[edit] Genesis 2.5

According to Genesis 2.5, God noticed that Adam was very lonely, what with having been deprived of any semblance of childhood, and having no recourse to beer, and wanking not having been invented yet. And God also noticed that the man had no apparent interest in the other animals, other than barbecuing them, which was highly illegal at the time.

So God cast a level-666 spell of sleep upon Adam, removed one of his stem cells, and recast it into the shape of a man just like Adam, albeit somewhat of a less huskier build and different hair style and a bit more athletically inclined. And Adam awoke from his slumber and beheld the other man, and called his name "Steve" and said "Truly, this Steeeeeeeve guy is flesh of my flesh, and is a totally kewl dude with which to hang out with, and maybe even go out on very long fishing trips together, which wouldst foster a healthy dynamic of male-pattern bonding betwixt us."^[1]

[edit] Adam and Steve in Paradise

And God beheld Adam and Steve as they shared many fun and delightful moments of rugged manly activities such as nature-hiking and rock-climbing and cattle-rustling and attending local sporting events and taking in picturesque sunsets and going out on very long fishing trips together. And they were totally naked^[2], which felt kinda weird, especially when one or the other inadvertently got a HUGE chode erection. And God commanded Adam and Steve to stay the hell away from the strip club, which was conveniently located in the midst of Paradise on the corner of 47th and Maplewood. It was hard to stay away from the strip club for Steve and Adam. But when they finally said "Fuck thy lord" which is a famous quote from Adam, they went to the strip club which they never returned until a couple of minutes later.

[edit] Steve gets some competition

Steve's new competition is a young guy named Josh Bernard. He has had anal with way more guys than Steve has, including Will Smith, Kobe Bryant, Jay-Z (shhhhhhh Beyonce doesn't know...), and the Devil.

[edit] list of things Steve has had sex with

• a pair of shoes
• 2 chairs
• a clock
• a large fish, perhaps a bass or trout
• a pickle
• a random mob of squirrels
• an ostrich
• he has been reported to shove a corn cob up his ass
• kids at Henry Ford 2, most often Josh Burnard

[edit] Steve's Project

This is the van him and Cartmen would travel around in to get it's earliest follows some of the first were Marilyn Manson, Kenny and Bruce Willis

Later, Steve turned his back on his creator and started a program to get Eric Cartman to endorse Satanism. The program started small but became huge once Cartman said they should have punch and pie for there meetings. It is still a program going strong to this day. And is quite fun.

[edit] Steve Today

Steve is still alive and well today. He and Adam still go on fishing trips every other weekend. The program he and Cartman started made him a shit load of money which he retired with. He is living with his wife somewhere in Ohio.

[edit] Hobbit Feet and Hair Pants

Steve started a band after retiring called Hobbit Feet and Hair Pants they were a folksy jazz-fusion funk band with alt rock influences. They made it huge with such huge singles as "Real Men Pee In The Dark", "Your Iron Vibrator", "Muffin Sack" and "Join The Program and get punch and pie" after a few short years and 37 million dollars they suddenly broke up.

[edit] Popular Steve-isms

• "No I'm Steve you're the prostitute!"
• "Get off my property!"
• "It's not different at all, is it Steve?"
• "Do you believe in god, yes or no? C'mon dude it's a yes or no question!"
• "Why do you have a microphone?"
• "I have a posse that I pay $15 weekly and I will sic them on you."
• "hello my name is Steve and you better remember it!"
• "Don't you forsake the almighty Steve!"
• "You Steve!"
• "I don't care about that, dude."
• "C'mon, dude!"
• "Steve Is god!"
• "No no no Adam and I were just getting warm."
• "What do you mean you didn't finish the job?"
• "Join my program we have punch and pie"
• "It's cold as all hell in here"
• "It doesn't matter, dude."
• "Wheres my money?"
• "Wink, Wink"
• "I'll try anything once...okay twice."
• "Where's my tupperware?!"
• "Steve is TheCumLord of Henry Ford 2!"
• "Tell anyone that I raped you and I'll kill you

[edit] References

giggity giggity goo

[edit] See also

• Adam and Eve
• Eve
• David and Goliath
• David, Luke, and Goliath in Three Men and a Shish-kebab
• pickle fucking
• Pervert
• Pedophile
• Sexy beast
• Small brown man
• Dominic Catonzaro
• Any freshman at Ford II, mostly Josh Burnard

[edit] Steve's work at Henry Ford II

Steve is the biology teacher at Henry Ford II. When he isn't instructing children to bring lube for him to use in class or luring them to his rape dungeons, he can be found ignoring his classes and talking to random children on the lunchroom. Steve has a Master's in douchebaggery and enjoys dancing to songs by "The Village People" after class. Some people may think that Hitler went insane was because Steve raped him as a young corporal in the trenches of WW1, as well as when he was in the womb. Scientists are dumbfounded as to how this could happen, but it happened. He kidnaps children in the lunchroom at strive when they are the last ones to leave, and takes them to room 230 where he and Fuhrer beyer rape them to the Wermacht march. He also claims to have a wife and kids, as evidenced by the pictures on his desk. However, those pictures were stolen from his neighbors house while they were sleeping/being raped by him. He wears yellow or pink camo, and will be spotted outside your child's window. Be careful, he is a sneaky batective. He can never be seen in his classroom because he is never there, looking at child porn on his red laptop. He has been spotted in the boy's locker room with a plank of wood up to his face in an attempt to see naked little boys.